contesting trust

[Gibbler]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? IL.

My great aunt and uncle raised me since I was 2. They were my guardians but I was never adopted. They have no other children. Now that they are in their 90's and have diminished mental capacity, they have made my biological mother ( who gave me to them to raise) and a nephew executors of their trust.
I used to be one of the executors of the will( along with their nephew), but am now suddenly replaced by my mother since I have moved out of state. I know I am a benficiary in the will, but worry greatly about being treated fairly by my mother, as there is great conflict. And I find it troubling that all of a sudden she is one of the people in charge of all their assets, which is a large sum of money. I was told by my mother that the trust includes many people as beneficiaries.
Do I, as a beneficiary ,and I feel, a "child" of my aunt and uncle , have a right to know what is going on with the trust and what it says before their death?
If I feel I'm am being treated unfairly after their death, do I have any legal ground for contesting the will? I anticipate these problems because I have already been told many of the personal items I thought would be mine are already being given to other people; not to mention big sums of money to churches.
As I have heart failure and am chronically Ill, I need all the help I can get.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? IL.

My great aunt and uncle raised me since I was 2. They were my guardians but I was never adopted. They have no other children. Now that they are in their 90's and have diminished mental capacity, they have made my biological mother ( who gave me to them to raise) and a nephew executors of their trust.
I used to be one of the executors of the will( along with their nephew), but am now suddenly replaced by my mother since I have moved out of state. I know I am a benficiary in the will, but worry greatly about being treated fairly by my mother, as there is great conflict. And I find it troubling that all of a sudden she is one of the people in charge of all their assets, which is a large sum of money. I was told by my mother that the trust includes many people as beneficiaries.
Do I, as a beneficiary ,and I feel, a "child" of my aunt and uncle , have a right to know what is going on with the trust and what it says before their death?
If I feel I'm am being treated unfairly after their death, do I have any legal ground for contesting the will? I anticipate these problems because I have already been told many of the personal items I thought would be mine are already being given to other people; not to mention big sums of money to churches.
As I have heart failure and am chronically Ill, I need all the help I can get.

You are not entitled to anything before your aunt and uncle die. Depending on the type of trust, they can change the beneficiaries as much as they want so long as they are of sound mind and body. If they want to give away their personal items and money now they are allowed. Why did you assume these personal items of theirs would be yours? because you feel like a child of them?

 

[Gibbler]

IL

I didnt mean to sound insensivive by bringing this up before their death, it is mostly because of all the family disfunction and bad relationship with my biological mother and the shock of suddenly finding out she is secondary trustee. My bio mom never had much to do with me or my aunt and uncle while I grew up there(except for alot of disharmony). Now that they are elderly, in poor health, and having problems with dementia, all of a sudden "mom" is there all of the time tending to their needs and very in my face about she thinks should be done. I sure find her sudden concern for them to be suspicious, along with the sudden appoinment of replacing me as a trustee. Bio mom already has millions, but cant seem to get enough, while always seeming to leave me with nothing. It is infuriating.
Yes, I thought I would have some of the personal items that I grew up with as they mean a great deal to me. My aunt and uncle ARE the ones who raised me, and the only people I consider to be my parents.
I know I am a beneficiary, along with others in the family who need some help. That's fine. I just see the writing on the wall when it comes to me getting what they are leaving me, with mom being one of the people in charge of the distribution. Considering my health status, which is rather serious, I dont feel like I could deal with alot of court/lawyer things, plus the fact I am in another state. I guess I'm just trying to get a sense from this site what legal rights I have or dont have. It seems to be rather a precarious situation as I legally seem to be " in between" families.
I guess I will have to also go to the family law section of this site. What am I considered if I was raised my whole life by other relatives, but not adopted by them? Sorry so long- venting too.

 

[BeenAround]

Sorry to hear your dilemma. But assuming that you are your mother's only child, whatever $ she manages to "scoop out" from your aunt and uncle after their passing, will all ultimately come back to you - after your mother passes.

 

[Gibbler]

IL

Thanks for your thoughts beenaround. I am not the only child of my mother however. I have three half brothers. Since they are the biological children of my bio mom and stepdad, they, not me, are really the ones who benefit from that family. My step comes from a long line of "old" money and there are many stipulations in their family trust that it be kept in the family. I was never adopted by stepdad and am not considered a part of his family either ( ), . When stepdad's mother(my stepgrandmother) passed, I got nothing like the other grandchildren, nor was I even invited to any services. This is why I consider the great aunt and uncle I am referring to in these posts as my "parents". And why it is so upsetting and insulting that bio mom is in a position to potentially control anything left to me. I'm sure bio had alot to do with her replacing me as a trustee as she has really been "schmoozing" my aunt and uncle since the day I moved away. She has never helped in the past no matter what my situation, and I dont see that changing much after all these years. This is why I contemplate that I will have to deal with some kind of court stuff when my aunt and uncle pass. I know she will not have my best interest at heart, but jelousy of anything I get even though she never has to worry about money again in her life. Some people just have to have it all.

 

[Sister-in-law]

I completely understand your dilemma since I also have a diabolical family member. People who haven't experienced this kind of dysfunction, simply just don't get the message of what folks like us are trying to say. Loving relationships of decades get smothered by the predators who have been waiting in the wings to make their move.
Why does a person who already has much covet more? Control and power are what some people live for. The love and good relationships that other people have stick in their craw, because they don't know how to, or care to have the same thing. What they really want is to make others as miserable as they are in order to achieve satisfaction in their own lives. Money is the means to that end.
It's pitiful to see until it descends to the point of taking advantage of the elderly and twisting their good intentions and the habits and loving actions of a lifetime. Then, I call it evil.
The problem becomes, how to fight it without using up all your resources and energy. You see, that's partly what the predator wants - the satisfaction not only of cheating you, but seeing you consumed in the process. I've had 40 years of dealing with this, believe me, I know the drill!
I wish you good luck and if I had the answer, I'd give it to you. I too am seeking.

 

[Ithildriel]

I completely understand your dilemma since I also have a diabolical family member. People who haven't experienced this kind of dysfunction, simply just don't get the message of what folks like us are trying to say. Loving relationships of decades get smothered by the predators who have been waiting in the wings to make their move.
Why does a person who already has much covet more? Control and power are what some people live for. The love and good relationships that other people have stick in their craw, because they don't know how to, or care to have the same thing. What they really want is to make others as miserable as they are in order to achieve satisfaction in their own lives. Money is the means to that end.
It's pitiful to see until it descends to the point of taking advantage of the elderly and twisting their good intentions and the habits and loving actions of a lifetime. Then, I call it evil.
The problem becomes, how to fight it without using up all your resources and energy. You see, that's partly what the predator wants - the satisfaction not only of cheating you, but seeing you consumed in the process. I've had 40 years of dealing with this, believe me, I know the drill!
I wish you good luck and if I had the answer, I'd give it to you. I too am seeking.

Depends on what you are fighting for. If it is the elderly person that you love's right to dignity, and to have their wishes met, it is one thing, if it is to get what you think that person monetarily "owes" you when they die, it is another.

Trust me, I know all about dysfunction. I don't want to hijack the OP's thread, but this summer my mother and her husband abandoned my wealthy grandfather in a hospital to die with no money, or ID, just the clothes on his back, and did not tell anyone in our family. Luckily I was located within 2 days and took over my mother's responsibilites as his POA for financial and medical at my grandfather's request. Because FMLA does not cover grandparents, I had to take time off work without pay to care for him, and had my job threatened by my employer for doing so. Though I was with him every day for the remaining month of his life, spending countless hours getting everything changed over to my POA, getting trust written, etc, etc (without him having ID mind you), my Grandfather still left 25% of his estate to my mother, and 2% to me (the normal "grandchild" allotment), as the will was originally written. I was the one holding his had while he died.

When we had the trust written up, the trust attorney tried to discuss with my Grandfather leaving me more, but I shook my head no. This wasn't about money, and it wasn't about me, it was about giving this man who I loved whatever dignity I could for the last days of his life. That was worth the fight. I would have done it if he only had a dollar.

So if you are concerned for the welfare of your elderly loved one, then fight for it. But if your concern is that you aren't going to get enough money, do a reality check...it isn't your money, it is theirs.