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contradictory restraining order

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wonkothesane

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My ex wife just modified an Order of Protection against me. (This is her 5th order - all in different counties - and all she usually drops and/or violates, some after days...I would have been at the hearing but am out of state...showing the judge all the dropped orders might have helped me...)

Anyway...

It lists her as "the petitioner" and lists our 3 children (whom we have joint custody of) as the "protected persons".

Now, in the original "emergency" order, I was to avoid them all. (I called Child Welfare on her, and now they are investigating her...that's her only accusation she told my dad...and that was taken as "harasment"...yeah, you should see the way they live! My 10yo daughter wants to leave and live with me.)

In the new order, it says to avoid the petitioner and protected persons, BUT, on those pages, the line "protected persons" is crossed out in pen.

BUT, on one last page, an X is next to a box saying that I must "avoid the minor children"...???

Uh...I'm confused. Which is it?

She told my dad she modified it so I could see the kids. (Probably she did it because she couldn't sue for full custody if there was an OP against me!)

Also, the joint custody agreement says I am to pick the kids up at her appt. But the OP says I have to avoid the property...so how am I supposed to arrange to get the kids if I can't speak with her?

I should have been there, but they waited untill they knew I had to be gone on an emergency and couldn't get back.

Also, she is sueing for full custody, like I said, so...

One last thing - she has insisted adamantly several times that she changed her last name to her new husband's last name...but all the legal paperwork lists *my* last name.

Btw, my ex is nuts. After the last OP/RS, she spent the whole next day with me and my parents, and spent the night at my hotel room. (This was AFTER the divorce). And just 4 weeks ago, she called me at 1am because she "was lonely" and needed "comfort" and "someone to talk to" (her husband was/is having an affair)...now she doesn't want to see or talk to me for 2 years? (Probably because her 18yo 3-times convicted felon "husband" yells at her - and threatens me - and throws things - when I come around. In fact, on the day before she got the OP he threatened to kill me, but in ILL you can't get an OP except against relatives - at least that's what I was told by victum's services. I get a death threat, and *she* gets an restrainig order! "Justice" my a**!)

Also, I 'suppose I can't challenge to change the terms of the OP later now, can I? I'm stuck with it.
 


rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
If you were served the papers, you should have appeared at court. It sounds like you need an attorney if you can't keep track of things. Have you tried to get am exchange point like the police station or perhaps she can allow your parents to pick the children up? Have you contacted legal aid? Be sure to appear at your custody hearing.
 

wonkothesane

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
If you were served the papers, you should have appeared at court. It sounds like you need an attorney if you can't keep track of things. Have you tried to get am exchange point like the police station or perhaps she can allow your parents to pick the children up? Have you contacted legal aid? Be sure to appear at your custody hearing.

I would have been there but my mom was in the hospital near death. They waited 'till I left and knew I wouldn"t be back for 30 days at least. (To care for her.)

I am trying to sell a car to get lawyer money.

I have tried Illinois legal aide, but they won't take any custody cases "in that county" - even though they *cover* that county...don't ask me why...the lady said she couldn't say...
 
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wonkothesane

Junior Member
Illinois

One more thing...the RS says that 3rd parties can't communiate with her on my behalf, including my parents. But after the order was modified, she called my dad! We have the phone records!

Did she violate the order? Last order, I was told once *she* broke it (by contacting me) it could be declared invalid.

And yes, I KNOW I need a lawyer - as people here often tell me - and I am trying to find a way to afford one - but if I had one, I wouldn't be asking for advice HERE would I?
 

eyemback

Member
wonkothesane said:
Illinois

One more thing...the RS says that 3rd parties can't communiate with her on my behalf, including my parents. But after the order was modified, she called my dad! We have the phone records!

Did she violate the order? Last order, I was told once *she* broke it (by contacting me) it could be declared invalid.

And yes, I KNOW I need a lawyer - as people here often tell me - and I am trying to find a way to afford one - but if I had one, I wouldn't be asking for advice HERE would I?

Try to get a consult with a few. Try contacting your local bar association for a referral. You need to have someone to look at all of them and tell you what you need to do, etc.
 

wonkothesane

Junior Member
eyemback said:
Try to get a consult with a few. Try contacting your local bar association for a referral. You need to have someone to look at all of them and tell you what you need to do, etc.

I hear some do free consults. And Land of Lincoln Legal Service will do consulting - and they do handle custody cases, just not custody cases in that particuar county. Even though it's a county they cover. Just my luck. (Maybe they are booked up???)

And maybe my van will sell...

I just don't see how the order of protection can both say I can and can't see the kids?
 
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eyemback

Member
wonkothesane said:
I hear some do free consults. And Land of Lincoln Legal Service will do consulting - and they do handle custody cases, just not custody cases in that particuar county. Even though it's a county they cover. Just my luck. (Maybe they are booked up???)
I am not talking about a legal service and/or legal aid. I am talking about your local bar association. Simply open up your yellow pages. Your county (or neighboring larger county) should have a bar association where you can contact them for a referral. Or do a google search.
 

wonkothesane

Junior Member
My dad took the order of protection to the local courthouse this morning - someone there (the circut clerk, I think) looked at it and said "Boy, somebody really screwed up in filling this out."


First of all, the X's and crossed-out parts HAVE to be initialed. (I'm sure there were and all the past legal paperwork I got.)

2nd, he said "yes", it was self-contradictory.

3rd, since she uses my last name - and name she no longer has - "C**** C B*******" no longer exists as a legal entity.

We called the clerk up there (and are waiting to talk to victum's services, the people who actually helped fill it out) and the clerk there says it *is* valid because a judge signed it. But a judge signed a *contradictory* legal order, so...
 
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casa

Senior Member
wonkothesane said:
My dad took the order of protection to the local courthouse this morning - someone there (the circut clerk, I think) looked at it and said "Boy, somebody really screwed up in filling this out."


First of all, the X's and crossed-out parts HAVE to be initialed. (I'm sure there were and all the past legal paperwork I got.)

2nd, he said "yes", it was self-contradictory.

3rd, since she uses my last name - and name she no longer has - "C**** C B*******" no longer exists as a legal entity.

We called the clerk up there (and are waiting to talk to victum's services, the people who actually helped fill it out) and the clerk there says it *is* valid because a judge signed it. But a judge signed a *contradictory* legal order, so...

Typically when Orders of Protection are issued- the court will designate a public meeting place to exchange the children for visitation, unless the children are also part of the abuse/harassment (or whatever is claimed)

If you have proof of her contacting you- I suggest you file it in court prior to the hearing. ie; phone records showing incoming calls from her, answering machine messages, witness' to her calling or seeing you, e-mails, letters etc. It will be hard to justify her claim of being afraid of you if she is contacting you.
 

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