Court ordered visitation versus actual time

[cmptrtechswife]

What is the name of your state? California

I need any suggestions or comments on what to do when the NCP is not excersing all their court ordered visitation time. What do you do when the other parent hasn't advised you that they will not be seeing the kids, but just don't show up?

The NCP is using the kids as messengers between us and I don't agree with that. I feel like I can't leave the house because I never know when they are going to be dropped back off because he doesn't want them any more.

We are headed back to court but in the mean time...do you give the NCP some extra time - like 15 - 30 minutes past the time they are supposed to be there to get the kids before doing what needs to be done?

 

[SuzieWahoozie]

I'm not an attorney, so I am not giving you this advice based on legal knowledge. I am telling you what I know based on other posts I have read here and based on my own experience and common sense.

The NCP not exercising his rights makes him a jerk - not you. You can't do anything to make him be a good father.

However, as for how long you need to wait for him to show up, if your visitation order does not specifically address the issue (mine does...he has 30 minutes, if he doesn't show up and doesn't call, his visitation can be cancelled), you have to be available during ALL the time he would be able to exercise his visitation. For example, if he gets the kids from 6:00PM Friday until 6:00PM Sunday, you have to have the kids available to him for pick-up during all that time. He's free to show up anytime during that time to exercise whatever remains of his visitation.

As for waiting around in case he wants to drop them off early, you don't have to be available for that. He has to learn to "handle" the kids and "parent" them even when it's hard! Now...you have to decide whether or not to leave on your own instead of waiting for him "just in case" he decides he can't handle them and wants to drop them off. Only you know whether or not he would just leave them, even if no one's there to care for them, and only you know how comfortable you are with that arrangement. If your kids are older it may not be so bad, but if they're young, you may make a different decision.

Again, this is not legal advice, just a layperson's two cents!