Custody “papers” ???

[sniper1227]

North Carolina, USA

There was a recent problem with my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. They had a child together and had broken up, and then we got together and went from there. Well a few weeks ago some things happened and he ended up getting charged with assault, assault on a female, and trespassing. He has not turned himself in but is planning to see his probation officer Monday. We decided that if he would sign over his custodial rights then we would try and drop the charges against his or at the very least not pursue it in court. He said that he had written a statement giving her all custody of the child and had it notarized. Now will this be enough or how should we go about making sure he can’t legally come and take this child any time he wanted too, that’s what we’re mostly concerned about. And is there anyway he can sign some papers giving up custody or do we have to go to court? And if this document is legit how do we go about “dropping” the charges? Or if we just didn’t show up for court is there anything the court can pursue on us since we pressed the charges and we aren’t the ones being prosecuted? Thanks for any help!

 

[Zephyr]

the document is not really legit for any type of enforcement, it may be helpful during a custody battle though



he can not come and pick up the child unless he has an order for visitation, and then only at the times outlined by that order

 

[sniper1227]

What about if we didn't show up in court? Is that a FTA or is that only for people being charged?

 

[LdiJ]

What about if we didn't show up in court? Is that a FTA or is that only for people being charged?

It would be really stupid not to show up in court.

 

[sniper1227]

That is understood, but if thats what she wants then we'll do it. What I was asking is what could happen if anything?

 

[Whyte Noise]

What could happen is whether SHE wants to drop the charges or not, the state could pick them up. Especially if there was any physical evidence of abuse from her ex. Women who are battered many times want to drop the charges against their spouse, b/f, ex, etc. and the state picks up the charges. Then, it's out of the woman's hands.

And BTW... this "him signing over all rights to custody "if" she drops the charges" could be seen as extortion or blackmail.

 

[scaredandalone]

Men who beat women should be beaten themselves

He shouldnt be allowed to get away with that. Next time, the woman may end up dead( rent the movie the burning bed, or in a child's name) and he could end up facing murder charges, to which you would have no say over. If they want to beat up something, try a pillow, not a person.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

He shouldnt be allowed to get away with that. Next time, the woman may end up dead( rent the movie the burning bed, or in a child's name) and he could end up facing murder charges, to which you would have no say over. If they want to beat up something, try a pillow, not a person.

This in no way addresses the legal question posted here. Please READ questions then reply only if you have something to add that addresses the legal question..

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You leave out some significant facts.
I take it the assault was against your girlfriend? If so, this is considered domestic violence. If there is concern that dad will take the child, get a restraining order, file to modify existing visitation orders to supervised orders and enforce child support orders. It is not a wise idea for mom not to appear for the DV case nor should she attempt to trade parental rights for dropping the case, the state is prosecuting him. Since you are not married, you cannot adopt the child anyway, so it is better to wait until you are married before looking into terminating dad's rights and adopting the child, you understand then you would become responsible for the child and child support if you were to breakup in the future.

 

[LdiJ]

You leave out some significant facts.
I take it the assault was against your girlfriend? If so, this is considered domestic violence. If there is concern that dad will take the child, get a restraining order, file to modify existing visitation orders to supervised orders and enforce child support orders. It is not a wise idea for mom not to appear for the DV case nor should she attempt to trade parental rights for dropping the case, the state is prosecuting him. Since you are not married, you cannot adopt the child anyway, so it is better to wait until you are married before looking into terminating dad's rights and adopting the child, you understand then you would become responsible for the child and child support if you were to breakup in the future.

Lets also point out that the overall circumstances of the case could even risk mom's custody....particularly if CPS was at all involved in this case. If you are going to try the route of him giving up his visitation rights, you absolutely should not do it without having an attorney involved in the case.

The bottom line though is that the state is going to pursue this case with or without mom's cooperation....and if mom doesn't cooperate there can be serious reprecussions.

 

[sniper1227]

Ok, let me run the details and it might help clear up the confusion. I was assaulted first; the only thing he did to her was push her away when she tried to step in between us. He ended up running out the door and leaving the scene. We decided that since legally he is on the birth certificate and could come and take the child if he wanted too, then we would at least go to the magistrate and file charges and that would at least keep him away from her and the baby. Neither I nor my girlfriend was injured from the incident. After hearing our story the Mg. charged him with assault, assault on a female, and trespassing. Now he was the one that said he wanted to sign over all his rights and so on and so fourth that he didn’t want anything else to do with all this. Now I know until we get married I can’t adopt, but I think if there’s another action we could take as far as her having the custody she needs to make sure he can’t just come take the baby then that’s all we need for now. All we want is for him to be out of our lives, and since he was the only one hurt by what happened I wouldn’t have a problem dropping the charges, neither would she. He agreed to sign an agreement stating he’d pay X amount of child support and so on until the time comes where he can sign over his rights and I can adopt. So if this document is signed by both parties and a notary it would be legit to be used in court should it be needed? Not to enforce but to show what he agreed too? Thanks all!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

This in no way addresses the legal question posted here. Please READ questions then reply only if you have something to add that addresses the legal question..

But, she loves Farrah Faucet!!!

To funny, under her new moniker, she is a he, who obviously loves the "Life Time Channel."

****? Please enjoy your vacation, and contact Kelly's server. File a complaint against her through her server.

I believe she has harrassed enough internet forums.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Ok, let me run the details and it might help clear up the confusion. I was assaulted first; the only thing he did to her was push her away when she tried to step in between us. He ended up running out the door and leaving the scene. We decided that since legally he is on the birth certificate and could come and take the child if he wanted too, then we would at least go to the magistrate and file charges and that would at least keep him away from her and the baby. Neither I nor my girlfriend was injured from the incident. After hearing our story the Mg. charged him with assault, assault on a female, and trespassing. Now he was the one that said he wanted to sign over all his rights and so on and so fourth that he didn’t want anything else to do with all this. Now I know until we get married I can’t adopt, but I think if there’s another action we could take as far as her having the custody she needs to make sure he can’t just come take the baby then that’s all we need for now. All we want is for him to be out of our lives, and since he was the only one hurt by what happened I wouldn’t have a problem dropping the charges, neither would she. He agreed to sign an agreement stating he’d pay X amount of child support and so on until the time comes where he can sign over his rights and I can adopt. So if this document is signed by both parties and a notary it would be legit to be used in court should it be needed? Not to enforce but to show what he agreed too? Thanks all!

They have to go to court to settle custody, child support and visitation issues, a noterized agreement is not enough. He is in 'her' life until the child reaches majority. You can't go around making accusations meant to affect custody and visitation and not expect some backsplash, the courts are not there for that purpose, do it correctly through court orders, it is not a control game, denying dad his rights or disparaging him will only backfire.

 

[acmb05]

be srious

This in no way addresses the legal question posted here. Please READ questions then reply only if you have something to add that addresses the legal question..

How many times have all of us injected our personal beliefs into a thread. Just take a look at the last 10 threads. I said it once before if people are going to sensor then they need to do it to everyone not pick and choose who has to obey the rules and who does not.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

How many times have all of us injected our personal beliefs into a thread. Just take a look at the last 10 threads. I said it once before if people are going to sensor then they need to do it to everyone not pick and choose who has to obey the rules and who does not.

srious

oh, you mean, serious! And

sensor

oh, that's censor, now I get it.

We went through this before, this is not a forum for personal opinions, agendas, debates, vent/rant/support group. When you continue to do that, you will be called on it by someone because it distracts from the objective advice that the posters come here to receive.

OP's situation is complicated already and they did not privide enough facts as it was let alone to get the whole thread off focus.

Remember what others and I said before about comprehending and focusing even though that is not your belief that that is important or fair.