Custody question

[joe32]

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I am a non custodial father fighting for custody of my young son. I have a visitation agreement through the courts right now that has been going smoothly for a few months now but it has recently come to my attention that my x was being investegated for drug abuse by dyfs.I was advised to seek emergency temp custody and have done so but things keep going in her favor for some reason.I feel it is in the best interest of my son to be placed in my custody at least until she can prove there is no drug problem and ultimatly placed with me permanatly my lawyer feels we have no case and has advised me to drop the suit for custody.I feel he has not been tring to win this case from the begining as he advised that I should have left matters alone.I dont know what to do in this case as I have been relying on my lawyer to fight the case and he seems to be as cluless as I am. Do I have a case or not ? Is there another angle I can use to win? I have another case coming up on another matter that is related but unrelated to this case,I will be posting a question on another thread on this matter. Thank you in advance for any advice you can give in this matter.

 

[weenor]

Things are going her way because there is apparently little if any proof of consistent drug use. An investigation is only that....Now if you have recent medical records (detox or rehab) or positive drug tests then you might have something. BTW- smoking pot is probably not enough to change custody unless you can prove danger to the child. Your attorney is probably right. Can't fight without proof.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Aside from the numerouse assumptions made in the other response, the legal answer is, if you don't like the way your attorney is handling things then it is your right to fire him/her.

however, I would suggest you first ask him/her point blank WHY he made such statements as to leaving it alone and why he is not actively pursuing custody in your favor.

 

[Ohiogal]

Questions:
1) What prompted the investigation?
2) Did your ex ever use drugs in your presence?
3) Who told you to seek emergency custody?
4) What did the dyfs find in their investigation?

 

[joe32]

Questions:
1) What prompted the investigation?
2) Did your ex ever use drugs in your presence?
3) Who told you to seek emergency custody?
4) What did the dyfs find in their investigation?

1.Someone called dyfs anonomously
2.Yes
3.dyfs worker
4.They wont tell me much of anything just what they went there for but not what they found

 

[kittiepaws]

Worth a Shot

I'm in Texas. It sounds to me that if she's been legally investigated by a certain agency that the best thing you can do is these two things....1). HIRE A NEW ATTORNEY...No attorney who takes your money and doesn't do what you ask is worth his weight in gold. THEY WORK FOR YOU...ONCE THE MONEY CHANGES HANDS. Find a lawyer who tetters on the "dirty" side...not to say against the law...but one who's aggressive enough to DO WHAT YOU ASK and help you in every way. He/she must be willing to object when it's appropriate to object...and place your ex on the stand and call her on the things she's doing that you have proof of. Take your lawyer ever bit of dirty tips you have on your ex so that he/she can utilize it to your advantage. 2).GET CPS INVOLVED....If CPS knows that she's being investigated for drugs...and you fear for your child's safety...they will HAVE to launch their OWN investigation and if they feel she's using drugs...they will RECOMMEND to the courts that the child be at least "temporarily" placed with you and/or foster care. Be VERY CAREFUL WITH STEP TWO. I'm not saying they'll automatically want to place your son with you...but they usually consider sending the child to the other parent before they would place them in foster care...but if your child is in emminent danger...it wouldn't matter to me if the child came to me or not as long as they were away from the stuff that could hurt them.....I'm not a lawyer...just a mother who has an ex with a new wife that fights dirty in court. She helped him lie...helped him make me look like something I wasn't. And that exactly what she did to me..she got CPS involved. Luckily CPS saw through the bull in my case....EVEN IF YOU DON'T CONSIDER THE CPS ANGLE...consider the NEW LAWYER ADVICE....I didn't get anywhere in my custody issues until I hired a FEMALE lawyer that was known for being AGGRESSIVE in court...or another words...she wasn't afraid to be a bitch against my ex. She did for me what I couldn't do for myself. Went through court for 4 years...(after the divorce) and she was lawyer #3.

What is the name of your state? New Jersey
I am a non custodial father fighting for custody of my young son. I have a visitation agreement through the courts right now that has been going smoothly for a few months now but it has recently come to my attention that my x was being investegated for drug abuse by dyfs.I was advised to seek emergency temp custody and have done so but things keep going in her favor for some reason.I feel it is in the best interest of my son to be placed in my custody at least until she can prove there is no drug problem and ultimatly placed with me permanatly my lawyer feels we have no case and has advised me to drop the suit for custody.I feel he has not been tring to win this case from the begining as he advised that I should have left matters alone.I dont know what to do in this case as I have been relying on my lawyer to fight the case and he seems to be as cluless as I am. Do I have a case or not ? Is there another angle I can use to win? I have another case coming up on another matter that is related but unrelated to this case,I will be posting a question on another thread on this matter. Thank you in advance for any advice you can give in this matter.

 

[ceara19]

1.Someone called dyfs anonomously
2.Yes
3.dyfs worker
4.They wont tell me much of anything just what they went there for but not what they found

Did you ever use drugs WITH your ex?

 

[Ohiogal]

1.Someone called dyfs anonomously
2.Yes
3.dyfs worker
4.They wont tell me much of anything just what they went there for but not what they found

Well here is the thing -- the courts are used to seeing reports and investigations by children services when custody is filed. An anonymous DYFS investigation doesn't hold a lot of water with the courts if nothing is found. It is not enough to get a change in custody -- if it were, every NCP out there that wanted custody would just make anonymous calls to DYFS You didn't get anywhere because dyfs didn't find anything. DYFS cannot give legal advice so them telling you to get emergency custody doesn't do any good especially if DYFS didn't remove the children from the house. If they didn't remove them from the home then they didn't think they were in danger.
The fact that your ex did drugs in front of you -- well you are no better than the ex because you witnessed that happening and still had a child or children with the ex. If you bring that up in court the judge will wonder whether you did them. Neither one of you will look good with that testimony.
See the problem. And Kitty your advice sucked.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm in Texas. It sounds to me that if she's been legally investigated by a certain agency that the best thing you can do is these two things....1). HIRE A NEW ATTORNEY...No attorney who takes your money and doesn't do what you ask is worth his weight in gold. THEY WORK FOR YOU...ONCE THE MONEY CHANGES HANDS. Find a lawyer who tetters on the "dirty" side...not to say against the law...but one who's aggressive enough to DO WHAT YOU ASK and help you in every way.

Here is the thing about this advice -- it sucks. Attorneys have clients. They do not and will not do things that are unethical or illegal. they always are barred by the ethics codes from bringing frivolous suits that do nothing. Attorneys are NOT slaves or puppets. They advise their clients regarding the law and they base their advice and actions on the laws as they are written. They also abide by caselaw. Being aggressive doesnt mean you win every case or even yell and scream in court. Showmanship doesn't a good lawyer make. If you want theater buy a ticket to the playhouse.

He/she must be willing to object when it's appropriate to object...and place your ex on the stand and call her on the things she's doing that you have proof of. Take your lawyer ever bit of dirty tips you have on your ex so that he/she can utilize it to your advantage.


Objections when objections are called for is one thing. Objecting every sentence is quite another and isn't proper. negative evidence on the basis of being negative DOES NOT an objection make. Tips do nothing. They make the person giving them look petty and bitter. Spreading gossip does nothing for credibility or to prove a case. Unless the party has PROOF then the "tips" get no where. And believe it or not, it is not necessarily up to the attorney to be a PI or investigator. An attorney's job is to look at the facts, what can be proven and present those in court. He said/she said doesn't get very far. A lawyer who is going to use gossip with no evidence is going to find themselves ethically in a lot of trouble.

2).GET CPS INVOLVED....If CPS knows that she's being investigated for drugs...and you fear for your child's safety...they will HAVE to launch their OWN investigation and if they feel she's using drugs...they will RECOMMEND to the courts that the child be at least "temporarily" placed with you and/or foster care.

And if DYFS found nothing and CPS finds nothing then the ex is going to accuse OP of harrassment. And the courts would take this VERY SERIOUSLY! And OP cannot lie to the courts if asked if he called CPS or DYFS. If he starts "using" the agencies to further his own agenda, he better duck and run.


Be VERY CAREFUL WITH STEP TWO. I'm not saying they'll automatically want to place your son with you...but they usually consider sending the child to the other parent before they would place them in foster care...but if your child is in emminent danger...it wouldn't matter to me if the child came to me or not as long as they were away from the stuff that could hurt them.....I'm not a lawyer...just a mother who has an ex with a new wife that fights dirty in court. She helped him lie...helped him make me look like something I wasn't. And that exactly what she did to me..she got CPS involved. Luckily CPS saw through the bull in my case....EVEN IF YOU DON'T CONSIDER THE CPS ANGLE...consider the NEW LAWYER ADVICE....I didn't get anywhere in my custody issues until I hired a FEMALE lawyer that was known for being AGGRESSIVE in court...or another words...she wasn't afraid to be a bitch against my ex. She did for me what I couldn't do for myself. Went through court for 4 years...(after the divorce) and she was lawyer #3.

If you went through three lawyers or four years, you are lucky you had an attorney at all. And being a bitch doesn't mean that she was a good lawyer. A good performer in front of you maybe but that doesn't mean squat in the eyes of the court.

 

[weenor]

If you went through three lawyers or four years, you are lucky you had an attorney at all. And being a bitch doesn't mean that she was a good lawyer. A good performer in front of you maybe but that doesn't mean squat in the eyes of the court.

Not to mention that fighting costs the client money..sometimes its necessary but often the client pays for the show.

 

[joe32]

Well here is the thing -- the courts are used to seeing reports and investigations by children services when custody is filed. An anonymous DYFS investigation doesn't hold a lot of water with the courts if nothing is found. It is not enough to get a change in custody -- if it were, every NCP out there that wanted custody would just make anonymous calls to DYFS You didn't get anywhere because dyfs didn't find anything. DYFS cannot give legal advice so them telling you to get emergency custody doesn't do any good especially if DYFS didn't remove the children from the house. If they didn't remove them from the home then they didn't think they were in danger.
The fact that your ex did drugs in front of you -- well you are no better than the ex because you witnessed that happening and still had a child or children with the ex. If you bring that up in court the judge will wonder whether you did them. Neither one of you will look good with that testimony.
See the problem. And Kitty your advice sucked.

We tried to subpoena the dyfs worker for that very reason but she never showed up to the hearing and no one did anything about it should'nt she be held in contempt ? I do think dfys found something because she has to do a narcotics evaluation but the same person who told me to file turned around and wrote a letter to the judge saying she thought the kids were in no danger but if she believed that then why did she tell me to file in the first place?In light of the entire situation I think I need a better lawyear this one just seems to be taking my money and not doing anything for me.It is his job to do what it takes to get my son out of that situation he is relying on me to tell him what to do to get him back I think he should be paying me.