custody study

[lquid_user]

Minnesota

Instead of a GAL the state of minnesota now uses custody studies administered by Catholic Charities. I understand that they caseworker will interview me and the ex and all of our close associates and then observe us each with our kids. Has anyone had one of these and how are they really run? Will they see through the artificiality of the mother. aparently the in home visit is scheduled, so you can tidy up, hide the drugs, whatever. My attorney thinks that this is crucial to our case. I'll do it but I'm not so comfortable thinking the ex only has to pull it together for a day.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Minnesota

Instead of a GAL the state of minnesota now uses custody studies administered by Catholic Charities. I understand that they caseworker will interview me and the ex and all of our close associates and then observe us each with our kids. Has anyone had one of these and how are they really run? Will they see through the artificiality of the mother. aparently the in home visit is scheduled, so you can tidy up, hide the drugs, whatever. My attorney thinks that this is crucial to our case. I'll do it but I'm not so comfortable thinking the ex only has to pull it together for a day.

My response:

What? The State is using, and condoning, a religious organization in a State matter? What if you're Jewish, or some other religion, or completely Agnostic?

What the hell is going on?

Also, I've asked more questions than you - - you've asked none.

IAAL

 

[lquid_user]

funny isn't it

Yes apparently this organization is the standard at least for this county. I happen to be a devout atheist. I have however considered purchasing a crucifix and hiding the little budda that sits in my flowers.

and my question:

Does anyone know anything about these type of " custody studies"?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Yes apparently this organization is the standard at least for this county. I happen to be a devout atheist. I have however considered purchasing a crucifix and hiding the little budda that sits in my flowers.

and my question:

Does anyone know anything about these type of " custody studies"?

My response:

No, not me. I've never heard of a religious organization actually being ordered by a court to intervene, on any level, into a State matter!

Did you agree to this religious organization? What's the skinny? Were they ordered by the court? If so, why didn't you, or your attorney, object to them on grounds of Free Exercise and Establishment Clauses of the First Amendment; i.e., Separation of Church and State?

This is too much!

IAAL

 

[lquid_user]

my attorneys idea

My attorney recommended that we have them as a third party review my ex and myself. She said that the state tends to lean toward awarding custody to the mother and that most of my allegations(pothead, drunk, etc.) would be hard to prove. The person performing the study has the authority though to order chemical dependency evaluations and drug screenings, and that should work to our favor. In our original petition for custody we requested that "a custody study be commenced immediately". and the actual court order required that I pay ($1900.00), and that "eachparty contact Catholic Charities within 14 days" and "Both parties shall cooperate fully with the study". so since I requested it I certainly can't complain. I am just dubious about the whole thing and having little experience with legal professionals am distrustful of my lawyer no matter how nice she seems. I do think she writes a mean affadavit though.

 

[ceara19]

Yes apparently this organization is the standard at least for this county. I happen to be a devout atheist. I have however considered purchasing a crucifix and hiding the little budda that sits in my flowers.

and my question:

Does anyone know anything about these type of " custody studies"?

The only thing I know about this type of study is that it is unconstitutional and inadmissible in any US court.

It's been a few days since I've really watched the news, so I guess it is possible that W's finally done away with separation of church and state.

I’m also firmly atheist. Just be happy you don’t live down here in the bible belt. Then they’d send the Baptists after you!

 

[lquid_user]

the heartland??

actually I'm from ....

I agree but these days you don't want catholics around your kids either.

 

[stealth2]

It's surprising that CC is being used by the state, but apart from that... Pretty much the person comes in, talks to you, looks around the house, observes how you and the kids interact (and if there's a hissy fit, whatever - don't sweat it. Seeing how you deal with that is also a good thing for the evaluator to see. Unless, of course, your way of dealing with it is to beat the tar out of the kid), asks a few questions, and that's that. Often, they'll also have you sign a release allowing them to speak with teachers, daycare providers, doctors, etc. They may speak to some of your neighbors.

How well she pulls it off may depend on how deeply they dig.

 

[lquid_user]

I'll give them a shovel

would it be unwise for me to state my concerns about her perenting? I don't want to badmouth her but there are serious problems. I'd hate to come across as hateful.
And doesn't $1950.00 sound like alot for a couple of interviews? my sister thinks I should save the money,and let the ex realize she is overwhelmed. I am afraid that the ex might just drop the kids off with her family instead of calling me to come get the kids. I'm uncomfy with that notion too since I may actually be abandoning them at that point. Of course my sister is now working on her third marriage, so what does she know?

 

[stealth2]

As I said before - leave the kids with her at your own risk. Once you do so, you will have little cause for complaint about her fitness as a parent unless she does something truly grievious, and therefore a devil of a battle should you ever try to change custody.

And no, $2k doesn't sound excessive. Custody situations are never cheap.

 

[lquid_user]

right

As I said before - leave the kids with her at your own risk. Once you do so, you will have little cause for complaint about her fitness as a parent unless she does something truly grievious, and therefore a devil of a battle should you ever try to change custody.

And no, $2k doesn't sound excessive. Custody situations are never cheap.

yeah.. thanks. I just hate the wait and see game. and in the meantime the kids bedtimes change every other day. Aren't there negative effects on the children to be constantly transitioning to a different environment and schedule? Other than the obvious difficulty with bedtime and naptime. She thinks our two year old has outgrown naptime(doesn't want to nap). I tried to explain that there wil be a naptime all the way through kindergarten at five yrs old and maybe longer. She just doesn't get it. I guess I should get it that I will never get through to her and should quit trying.

thanks
and I was approved for a discounted rate today of $1400.00 YIPPIEEE!!

lquid

 

[stealth2]

Not all kids are the same. I have one that quit napping at about two, and another that still needed one until around four. Same with changing schedules. Some kids adapt very well, others don't. At the end of the day, you chose this woman to bear your children. And you're not going to get to do it all your way, even if you get physical custody.

 

[lquid_user]

awwww

even if I really really want to???

yeah ....I 'll just have to start relaxing. Maybe I'll start taking those missed naps. It could be good for me.

 

[ceara19]

My attorney recommended that we have them as a third party review my ex and myself. She said that the state tends to lean toward awarding custody to the mother and that most of my allegations(pothead, drunk, etc.) would be hard to prove. The person performing the study has the authority though to order chemical dependency evaluations and drug screenings, and that should work to our favor. In our original petition for custody we requested that "a custody study be commenced immediately". and the actual court order required that I pay ($1900.00), and that "eachparty contact Catholic Charities of Winona within 14 days" and "Both parties shall cooperate fully with the study". so since I requested it I certainly can't complain. I am just dubious about the whole thing and having little experience with legal professionals am distrustful of my lawyer no matter how nice she seems. I do think she writes a mean affadavit though.

Since you requested it, she will have grounds to ask that the study be inadmissible because it was conducted by a religious organization. She SHOULD win, but it would depend on the judge.

I requested the judge to order my ex to see a psychiatrist for evaluation, with the understanding that I would pay for it IF my views were unfounded. The judge ordered it. He never went, which is one of the many, many reasons he's not allowed around the kids.