mayuriinabox
Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Georgia
Alright, I did ask a question in this forum previously.. But I re-evaluated everything and am trying to be more.. subjective? And I do have other questions. D:
So starting over... This is regarding the custody of an 18 month old.
The father has only seen the child twice. I left during pregnancy due to verbal abuse and a number of other factors. He threatened to take the child away so I just went about the pregnancy solo. He was notified when the child was born but pretty much just gave a shrug.
When the child was 8 months, I asked him if he would like to meet him- they said yes, there were two meetings. I asked if he would like to see the child a little more and told him which daycare the child went to and told him we was more than welcome to ask to see him or go to his daycare, etc. (Yes, pretty much by my rules but he isn't on the birth certificate and hadn't filed for support or anything yet.)
I filed after my sons birthday and he immediately filed for 50/50 custody where he would have him half the week every week.
Yes, I have consulted attorneys and no, I cannot afford one. The father does have one.
Ok! So with all that..
I have made a few parenting plans in response to his and fully expect to add to it during mediation. Basically I have put into my parenting plan that I would like to do standard every other week visitation. I'd prefer to talk about the holiday visitation at mediation so we can both get a good feel on what we expect.
My argument- and I do truly believe that this would be in the best interest for the child- is that moving the child around every 3.5 days would be too much. The child is too young to fully understand what is going on and has spent the entirety of his life thus far in one home with one parent. I feel that this switch may cause the child to feel a sense of abandonment, seeing as how the longest he has been away from his mother is a work shift. There have been no over-nights away as of yet.
I do also feel that a phased in parenting plan would be a wonderful plan to implement in the beginning.
The child is enrolled in daycare- I love daycare because he really does learn a lot there. He began taking steps at 8 months and I do feel that it has a lot to do with "watching and learning". He gets the socialization with other children, learns how to share and is able to play with others.
In the event that this case has to go past mediation.. I am trying to get my ducks in a row.
I have to do everything myself- I can't afford a lawyer.
I do have my own apartment, we have great neighbors, the school system here is pretty great (with a headstart program for three year olds and a great pre-k program), I have a job, and we have a very solid support system with all of my relatives. My father is very close to the child.
I am honestly worried about the child being with the father for so long- we have a bad history. He threatened all of my friends, stalked me, and treats a lot of his friends awful. I do have character witnesses for both of us.
There is a doctor witness- who has been the sole doctor for the child since.
So far all that has happened is since my ex filed for legitimation.. they dismissed the child support case. His lawyer suggested mediation and we both agreed that a mediator from a different county would be more preferred.
They keep saying they can't get one. So.. I am not sure. Aside from my response to the legitimation and parenting plan- I have no idea what else I need to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I need to ask during mediation? Good points to bring up in court?
I am fully aware that my ex and I might end up with joint custody.. its the 50/50 physical custody that I would like to prevent. I've also heard that joint legal is a good compromise? In the event of joint custody, I would like to be the primary physical custodian.
EDIT: Ex is married, has a 6month old.
Child support services dismissed the case because the hearing for legitimation covers the child support.
Georgia
Alright, I did ask a question in this forum previously.. But I re-evaluated everything and am trying to be more.. subjective? And I do have other questions. D:
So starting over... This is regarding the custody of an 18 month old.
The father has only seen the child twice. I left during pregnancy due to verbal abuse and a number of other factors. He threatened to take the child away so I just went about the pregnancy solo. He was notified when the child was born but pretty much just gave a shrug.
When the child was 8 months, I asked him if he would like to meet him- they said yes, there were two meetings. I asked if he would like to see the child a little more and told him which daycare the child went to and told him we was more than welcome to ask to see him or go to his daycare, etc. (Yes, pretty much by my rules but he isn't on the birth certificate and hadn't filed for support or anything yet.)
I filed after my sons birthday and he immediately filed for 50/50 custody where he would have him half the week every week.
Yes, I have consulted attorneys and no, I cannot afford one. The father does have one.
Ok! So with all that..
I have made a few parenting plans in response to his and fully expect to add to it during mediation. Basically I have put into my parenting plan that I would like to do standard every other week visitation. I'd prefer to talk about the holiday visitation at mediation so we can both get a good feel on what we expect.
My argument- and I do truly believe that this would be in the best interest for the child- is that moving the child around every 3.5 days would be too much. The child is too young to fully understand what is going on and has spent the entirety of his life thus far in one home with one parent. I feel that this switch may cause the child to feel a sense of abandonment, seeing as how the longest he has been away from his mother is a work shift. There have been no over-nights away as of yet.
I do also feel that a phased in parenting plan would be a wonderful plan to implement in the beginning.
The child is enrolled in daycare- I love daycare because he really does learn a lot there. He began taking steps at 8 months and I do feel that it has a lot to do with "watching and learning". He gets the socialization with other children, learns how to share and is able to play with others.
In the event that this case has to go past mediation.. I am trying to get my ducks in a row.
I have to do everything myself- I can't afford a lawyer.
I do have my own apartment, we have great neighbors, the school system here is pretty great (with a headstart program for three year olds and a great pre-k program), I have a job, and we have a very solid support system with all of my relatives. My father is very close to the child.
I am honestly worried about the child being with the father for so long- we have a bad history. He threatened all of my friends, stalked me, and treats a lot of his friends awful. I do have character witnesses for both of us.
There is a doctor witness- who has been the sole doctor for the child since.
So far all that has happened is since my ex filed for legitimation.. they dismissed the child support case. His lawyer suggested mediation and we both agreed that a mediator from a different county would be more preferred.
They keep saying they can't get one. So.. I am not sure. Aside from my response to the legitimation and parenting plan- I have no idea what else I need to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I need to ask during mediation? Good points to bring up in court?
I am fully aware that my ex and I might end up with joint custody.. its the 50/50 physical custody that I would like to prevent. I've also heard that joint legal is a good compromise? In the event of joint custody, I would like to be the primary physical custodian.
EDIT: Ex is married, has a 6month old.
Child support services dismissed the case because the hearing for legitimation covers the child support.
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