Dad died too soon... what do I do now?

[msjdmb]

What is the name of your state? Colorado
My biological father, I was adopted by my mom's husband, called me out of the blue a year ago, told me he was dying of RA of the Lungs, and asked if I would care for him (he had already asked it of his other children that he felt capable and was turned away). He knew that was my life role, the caretaker of the family, and of course I said yes. He moved down to colorado, left his wife even, and came to live here in my town so that I could be right there to care for him. When he suffered a health set back a month ago he started making arrangements to move in with me and was here in my home until the day he died. Now that is the sentiments, here are the facts...
Last year my father had a lawyer draw up POA in Life and Death in my name. That was supposed to protect me and allow me to handle everything for him after he was gone. He gave up ownership of his marrital home to his wife, he had no money saved up, and gave away all his possessions before he died, so he left no will. He did however leave me as his sole benificiary to his life insurance which he did BEFORE he even did the POA in Life and Death.
Now here is my question...
My half brother and half sister smell money. They are demanding all paperwork(including bank records, receipts from his last year before I even moved him in, and I NEVER messed with his money or accounts), death certificate, life insurance policy, etc. Do I have to give these things to them? Do I legally have to tell them the amount of the life insurance that I am to receive? It's not much because he took an early pay off but do they have a legal right to make me tell them? I am not trying to hide anything but if they think there is any money from his life insurance my dad said they would never leave me alone about it and would continue to demand it be given to them. They didn't even care to come and see him that whole year that he was scared to death! He was so afraid to die alone, and my half sister wouldn't even talk to him except to yell at him one time briefly on the phone. And now they think they are intitled to it? It doesn't seem right! If anyone would be intitled to any demands I would think it would be his wife, but she KNEW everything as it happened and is being great about it all! I never dreamed I would have to deal with my family drooling over what they think may be there that REALLY is not while I am reeling from the loss of a dad that I only got to know for a year.
If you have any helpful information on what I have to legally reveal to them I would be grateful of the tip!What is the name of your state?

 

[BlondiePB]

Last year my father had a lawyer draw up POA in Life and Death in my name. That was supposed to protect me and allow me to handle everything for him after he was gone. He gave up ownership of his marrital home to his wife, he had no money saved up, and gave away all his possessions before he died, so he left no will. He did however leave me as his sole benificiary to his life insurance which he did BEFORE he even did the POA in Life and Death.

I've never heard of a POA after death. POAs expire on the death of the grantor.

My half brother and half sister smell money. They are demanding all paperwork(including bank records, receipts from his last year before I even moved him in, and I NEVER messed with his money or accounts), death certificate, life insurance policy, etc. Do I have to give these things to them?

Until your half-squibblings hire an attorney and you are compelled to produce documents, you do not have to give these things to them. Keep in mind, POA's who have nothing to hide have no problem with showing bank records and receipts.

Do I legally have to tell them the amount of the life insurance that I am to receive? It's not much because he took an early pay off but do they have a legal right to make me tell them?

No.

 

[msjdmb]

Thanks for the advice!

You're right, I have NOTHING to hide, but it just felt funny handing things like that over for no reason... if he had had money that they were to inherit, i could see the point, but Dad only had the early pay off from his life insurance that he received before he died and I could not understand them wanting rent receipts, bank records, or things like that. It just seemed like there was no need for it (plus it would take weeks of digging through his stuff to find that kind of thing - I never had any part in that).

You CAN have a POA drawn up where it states that it is durable in LIFE and DEATH. Trust me, it helps when dealing with all this, but it would have been better if ha had left a will stating what he had done(giving away everything before death and explaining why), but I guess that is the beauty of death, no longer having to deal with money grubbers. I would welcome sharing the debts he left, but they don't want any of that!

If I can ask... can they find out how much life insurance there is left? Or is that only reveiled to the benificiary? I am afraid they will hound me endlessly for every buck until it is gone, regardless of the fact that I have to pay the funeral home.

Again, thanks so much for responding, your response, well, it helps.

 

[BlondiePB]

If I can ask... can they find out how much life insurance there is left? .

If you've been sent the insurance money already, it is your business NOT your squibblings.

Again, thanks so much for responding, your response, well, it helps.

You are welcome.

 

[anteater]

If you've been sent the insurance money already, it is your business NOT your squibblings.

You are welcome.

But, you will have to remember that, until a judge says, "Enough, knock it off", the legal system in the United States gives all squibblings the right to make life miserable for other squibblings.

 

[msjdmb]

That is so sad

But, you will have to remember that, until a judge says, "Enough, knock it off", the legal system in the United States gives all squibblings the right to make life miserable for other squibblings.

I think that is sad that they can drag this on and on, good thing that there is nothing really to fight over. I just have to prove that there is nothing left for them to want. But how do you prove that nothing exists? It is easy to show when there is, but short of allowing them to search through my house with a fine tooth comb, I have no way to prove it. I can prove there is no money short of the life insurance... through his account records, but thankfully I know now that they can not touch it because it was in my name only(I don't know what I would do if they took that, the funeral bill is going to wipe most of that out because he took that early withdrawl on it). And I can prove that there is no possessions to fight over, my dad was sepperated from his wife before he died and the judge listed what was his and what was hers so there is a list of assets(of course they were mostly old lawn mowers and such. But his personal possessions is a harder thing to prove.

I guess that this teaches the rest of us to have a current and detailed will, otherwise the ones who help us end up being tortured. I had a half way good relationship with my half brother, and it is sad that a death of our father is going to tear us apart.

I am very thankful for this site, the advice makes me feel less backed against the wall with dealing with my family. Thank you again!

 

[BlondiePB]

But, you will have to remember that, until a judge says, "Enough, knock it off", the legal system in the United States gives all squibblings the right to make life miserable for other squibblings.

Yep, the squibblings either need to hire a lawyer to compel msjdmb to produce nothing or msjdmb needs to hire lawyer to tell them to leave her alone and pound sand.

 

[msjdmb]

You're right!

I'm such an idiot! I kept thinking that I had to put up with this till they got lawyers or begged off, but why did it not dawn on me to get one myself to make em leave me alone! Smart idea! If the finances work out o.k. this coming month that is just what I'll do! Thanks!