What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah
I have a 13 year old daughter that no longer wants to see her father. Her father moved out of state, to Texas, around 5 years ago. He takes most of his visitation times, but only calls 2-3 times between visitations. Since he only takes Christmas and Summer visitations and bypasses all others he only see's her once or twice a year. This has been very hard on her the last couple of years. When she goes to see him he still treats her like she's 7, not 13, and they are very critical about every thing she thinks, feels, wears and says. She has become a pro at conforming into a different child when she is with him, I don't even know who she is when I talk to her down there.
Her father has been remarried for 11 years, his wife and him have 3 children together. My daughter loves her brother and sisters but does not really have a strong connection with them. She has a very rocky relationship with her stepmother. The problems with them started a couple years ago when they were arguing about my daughter never calling and her stepmother told her "maybe it would be better for all of them if she wasn't part of their family." To make it even better she txt this to my daughter and it has been a down hill spiral ever since. I spoke to her dad about several statements and problems between her and the stepmother and I think he is to scared to bring it up with the stepmother. The stepmother has said some very mean and spiteful things to my daughter, and her dad is aware of them but does nothing to stop the problem.
To top things off, I found out last fall that her father was diagnosed with schizophrenia disorder. He has not worked for over a year, and probably won't be going back to work. I have purchased the last four plane tickets for my daughter to go see them, even though she did not want to go, because I feel it is important for her to be part of her bio dads life. (He is required to purchase travel arrangements when delinquent on child support. He has been delinquent for 13 years, so long that I don't even know how much he owes anymore.)
While I feel it is important for my daughter to have a relationship with her bio father, it has gotten to the point that she is causing harm to herself. My daughter started secretly cutting herself, I have had her in therapy for the last 2 months and her therapist believes her father is the root cause of her cutting and depression. My daughter told her therapist that she wants her stepfather of 11 years to adopt her and that she does not want to be part of her bio dads life anymore. Her therapist told me that her bio dad has caused so much hurt that she has put a barrier wall up against him to protect herself from anymore pain. Her therapist feels she is old enough and mature enough to decide if she wants to be part of her bio dads life or not. I made her a promise in therapy that I would not provide anymore travel plans for her and that until we get her healthy that she would not have to have contact with her dad. (I know I will get crap for this, but if your child was cutting her skin to feel better what would you do?) I have told her bio dad that she does not want to talk to him at this time.
I should add that I have a stable relationship with bio dad and have told him several times that he needs to be part of her life and call 4-5 times a week, but this still has not helped. Last April my daughter told him to start being part of her life or to get out. Even coming from his daughter he still never called and still didn't plan ahead for a plane ticket (I ended up buying one and told my daughter that he bought it, I wanted her to feel like he was trying.)
My question is this - Her bio father is never going to give up custody. Her stepfather wants to adopt her and always has wanted to adopt her, but without bio father giving up custody rights how is this even an option? Do I even have a leg to stand on?
I have a 13 year old daughter that no longer wants to see her father. Her father moved out of state, to Texas, around 5 years ago. He takes most of his visitation times, but only calls 2-3 times between visitations. Since he only takes Christmas and Summer visitations and bypasses all others he only see's her once or twice a year. This has been very hard on her the last couple of years. When she goes to see him he still treats her like she's 7, not 13, and they are very critical about every thing she thinks, feels, wears and says. She has become a pro at conforming into a different child when she is with him, I don't even know who she is when I talk to her down there.
Her father has been remarried for 11 years, his wife and him have 3 children together. My daughter loves her brother and sisters but does not really have a strong connection with them. She has a very rocky relationship with her stepmother. The problems with them started a couple years ago when they were arguing about my daughter never calling and her stepmother told her "maybe it would be better for all of them if she wasn't part of their family." To make it even better she txt this to my daughter and it has been a down hill spiral ever since. I spoke to her dad about several statements and problems between her and the stepmother and I think he is to scared to bring it up with the stepmother. The stepmother has said some very mean and spiteful things to my daughter, and her dad is aware of them but does nothing to stop the problem.
To top things off, I found out last fall that her father was diagnosed with schizophrenia disorder. He has not worked for over a year, and probably won't be going back to work. I have purchased the last four plane tickets for my daughter to go see them, even though she did not want to go, because I feel it is important for her to be part of her bio dads life. (He is required to purchase travel arrangements when delinquent on child support. He has been delinquent for 13 years, so long that I don't even know how much he owes anymore.)
While I feel it is important for my daughter to have a relationship with her bio father, it has gotten to the point that she is causing harm to herself. My daughter started secretly cutting herself, I have had her in therapy for the last 2 months and her therapist believes her father is the root cause of her cutting and depression. My daughter told her therapist that she wants her stepfather of 11 years to adopt her and that she does not want to be part of her bio dads life anymore. Her therapist told me that her bio dad has caused so much hurt that she has put a barrier wall up against him to protect herself from anymore pain. Her therapist feels she is old enough and mature enough to decide if she wants to be part of her bio dads life or not. I made her a promise in therapy that I would not provide anymore travel plans for her and that until we get her healthy that she would not have to have contact with her dad. (I know I will get crap for this, but if your child was cutting her skin to feel better what would you do?) I have told her bio dad that she does not want to talk to him at this time.
I should add that I have a stable relationship with bio dad and have told him several times that he needs to be part of her life and call 4-5 times a week, but this still has not helped. Last April my daughter told him to start being part of her life or to get out. Even coming from his daughter he still never called and still didn't plan ahead for a plane ticket (I ended up buying one and told my daughter that he bought it, I wanted her to feel like he was trying.)
My question is this - Her bio father is never going to give up custody. Her stepfather wants to adopt her and always has wanted to adopt her, but without bio father giving up custody rights how is this even an option? Do I even have a leg to stand on?
