inkleberry
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? New York.
I am new to this family law stuff and am quite frustrated with the perdicament my husband and I are in. I will give you a short version of the drama.
My husband had a child with a woman I shall refer to as A. When the baby was two and in A's care, she was abused. Everyone that saw the baby in the hospital that day, had a hunch A beat her. The baby was afraid of A and wouldn't go near her. However, A blamed her boyfriend at the time. The case was unfounded because the doctor on call refused to testify to prove it was A. As the boyfriend was found innocent. The custody was granted to my husband, S. A had supervised visitation, where she is not to have men around. A picked fights with all persons that supervised her visits, thus she got to visit without the supervision. Visitation was modified several times, they finally gave in and agreed to this. A would have visitation with the baby -K the first three weekends of each month. Split holidays and in summer time, she got K for 5 weeks and S got her on the weekends. The first year this was in action, A would have K call her dad and beg to stay another night. He would say no, and she would cry. A was not to have men over. S heard she had a boyfriend there, he went over to find out and alas, the boyfriend was hiding in the closet. A played the restraining order game. When K was 4, she would come home and talk about how Adrien abused her. A was telling k this. K came home as an emotional time bomb. She threw these wicked fits, shook fists, threatened to break windows and then told S and I that her mom said we are moving her far away and she will never see mom again so she hated us. A had another baby..and got married. We thought perhaps she was growing up. A's husband R was left in charge of the kids each night as A went out drinking and partying and yes, sleeping around. R was a sweet man, and K was used to calling him dad (step dad). During summer time, A called us to get k early, claiming she had the flu. After the third week, we realised she was hung over and according to husband, drank every night. He was getting tired of her behavior and worried about how she was going to deal with the kids when he went to work. We also found out A would drop K off with her sister and her husband (a possible child mollester) or her parents on days she should be caring for the kids. A never worked either.
A left her husband and claimed she was lesbian and was also having an affair with two men each named mike. K would come home and tell us about these men, and we were worried for her safety while with her mom. R moved out and A got a female roommate, a girlfriend. A gave up custody of her baby, and moved to Ohio. She never said bye to K. After she moved, she called once a month to talk to K. K was destroyed that her mom moved away. It took several months for her to be normal. She is now so well adjusted, she is perfect. A came to visit once a month, even though she was in town twice a month. When she visited K, we didn't allow overnights for some time, when we did, she went out drinking, leaving K with her parents. A rarely spent quality time with K. K began to not want to see her mom.
K also missed her sister J, because of her mom, k rarely saw her.
A was forced to pay a real low amount for child support, and because of that, she moved back to ny. When she moved to ohio, we assumed we had her on abandonment and the visitation was no longer a reality. Now she is back in town and not working and not really trying to see k. She has another new boyfriend, after just leaving one in Ohio. A had k two weekends ago, and made k sleep in bed with this new boyfriend that we know nothing about. A lives with her parents and cannot provide proper living space for K. We are no longer allowing overnight visitation, and we are ignoring the court ordered visitation since so much has changed.
What are our rights?
Will we be held in contempt for not allowing the same visitation? I know we need to return to court for modification, but we do not have the money right now, nor does she so we are setting the rules. She has been lying to us, and to k and i fear she will break down the stability we built for k since she moved away.
Help
I am new to this family law stuff and am quite frustrated with the perdicament my husband and I are in. I will give you a short version of the drama.
My husband had a child with a woman I shall refer to as A. When the baby was two and in A's care, she was abused. Everyone that saw the baby in the hospital that day, had a hunch A beat her. The baby was afraid of A and wouldn't go near her. However, A blamed her boyfriend at the time. The case was unfounded because the doctor on call refused to testify to prove it was A. As the boyfriend was found innocent. The custody was granted to my husband, S. A had supervised visitation, where she is not to have men around. A picked fights with all persons that supervised her visits, thus she got to visit without the supervision. Visitation was modified several times, they finally gave in and agreed to this. A would have visitation with the baby -K the first three weekends of each month. Split holidays and in summer time, she got K for 5 weeks and S got her on the weekends. The first year this was in action, A would have K call her dad and beg to stay another night. He would say no, and she would cry. A was not to have men over. S heard she had a boyfriend there, he went over to find out and alas, the boyfriend was hiding in the closet. A played the restraining order game. When K was 4, she would come home and talk about how Adrien abused her. A was telling k this. K came home as an emotional time bomb. She threw these wicked fits, shook fists, threatened to break windows and then told S and I that her mom said we are moving her far away and she will never see mom again so she hated us. A had another baby..and got married. We thought perhaps she was growing up. A's husband R was left in charge of the kids each night as A went out drinking and partying and yes, sleeping around. R was a sweet man, and K was used to calling him dad (step dad). During summer time, A called us to get k early, claiming she had the flu. After the third week, we realised she was hung over and according to husband, drank every night. He was getting tired of her behavior and worried about how she was going to deal with the kids when he went to work. We also found out A would drop K off with her sister and her husband (a possible child mollester) or her parents on days she should be caring for the kids. A never worked either.
A left her husband and claimed she was lesbian and was also having an affair with two men each named mike. K would come home and tell us about these men, and we were worried for her safety while with her mom. R moved out and A got a female roommate, a girlfriend. A gave up custody of her baby, and moved to Ohio. She never said bye to K. After she moved, she called once a month to talk to K. K was destroyed that her mom moved away. It took several months for her to be normal. She is now so well adjusted, she is perfect. A came to visit once a month, even though she was in town twice a month. When she visited K, we didn't allow overnights for some time, when we did, she went out drinking, leaving K with her parents. A rarely spent quality time with K. K began to not want to see her mom.
K also missed her sister J, because of her mom, k rarely saw her.
A was forced to pay a real low amount for child support, and because of that, she moved back to ny. When she moved to ohio, we assumed we had her on abandonment and the visitation was no longer a reality. Now she is back in town and not working and not really trying to see k. She has another new boyfriend, after just leaving one in Ohio. A had k two weekends ago, and made k sleep in bed with this new boyfriend that we know nothing about. A lives with her parents and cannot provide proper living space for K. We are no longer allowing overnight visitation, and we are ignoring the court ordered visitation since so much has changed.
What are our rights?
Will we be held in contempt for not allowing the same visitation? I know we need to return to court for modification, but we do not have the money right now, nor does she so we are setting the rules. She has been lying to us, and to k and i fear she will break down the stability we built for k since she moved away.
Help
