Dental care, or lack thereof

[wavehopper27]

I live in MA, my kids live with their mom in NC. MA has jurisdiction.

Without specific language in our custody / visitation order that pertains to it, how is a judge likely to react to my kids not having proper dental care. I only see them a few times a year and I just noticed how yellow and stained my daughters teeth are. I asked her when the last time she went to the dentist and she doesnt recall ever going. Does simply being the CP and receiving child support make you responsible for things like this by default?

I am trying to schedule a dental visit that for my daughter on her next visit since mom seems to have dropped the ball on this one.

 

[Proserpina]

I live in MA, my kids live with their mom in NC. MA has jurisdiction.

Without specific language in our custody / visitation order that pertains to it, how is a judge likely to react to my kids not having proper dental care. I only see them a few times a year and I just noticed how yellow and stained my daughters teeth are. I asked her when the last time she went to the dentist and she doesnt recall ever going. Does simply being the CP and receiving child support make you responsible for things like this by default?

I am trying to schedule a dental visit that for my daughter on her next visit since mom seems to have dropped the ball on this one.

No, being the CP doesn't mean the CP is solely responsible unless they have sole legal custody (and even then.....). CS has nothing to do with the issue at all.

How old is your daughter? Is she not old enough to brush her teeth herself?

 

[wavehopper27]

She's 14 which is way too old to still be fighting this battle with her tooth cleaning.

I can only do so much. I only see her a few weeks out of the year ans she's with her mom the rest of the time. I would like to think that her mom has a responsibility to ensure she goes to the dentist regularly, even if I spli the bill with her.

 

[Proserpina]

She's 14 which is way too old to still be fighting this battle with her tooth cleaning.

I can only do so much. I only see her a few weeks out of the year ans she's with her mom the rest of the time. I would like to think that her mom has a responsibility to ensure she goes to the dentist regularly, even if I spli the bill with her.

I feel your frustration Dad, but honestly, she's MORE than old enough to practice good dental hygiene herself.

Don't they do school checks these days, by the way?

Also - at her age, yellowing teeth may not necessarily be a sign of bad cleaning habits. There could be other things going on - how's her health in general?

 

[Banned_Princess]

She's 14 which is way too old to still be fighting this battle with her tooth cleaning.

I can only do so much. I only see her a few weeks out of the year ans she's with her mom the rest of the time. I would like to think that her mom has a responsibility to ensure she goes to the dentist regularly, even if I spli the bill with her.

your daughter is old enough to be responsible for her own dental hygiene. At this point its your daughters responsibility to brush properly, and if she wants to go to the dentist, she should tell mom to make an appointment.

 

[wavehopper27]

I'm not talking a little bit of yellow. This is thick plaque and tartar. Her health is fine otherwise. If this was just about her own poor dental hygiene, I would deal with it like a parent but when she hasn't had a regular dental checkup in lord knows how long**************...

 

[wavehopper27]

your daughter is old enough to be responsible for her own dental hygiene. At this point its your daughters responsibility to brush properly, and if she wants to go to the dentist, she should tell mom to make an appointment.

She may be 14 but she is still a child. She needs to be taken to the dentist whether she wants to or not.

 

[Proserpina]

She may be 14 but she is still a child. She needs to be taken to the dentist whether she wants to or not.

Okay, what is it you want to happen?

You either take Mom to court and get the court to slap her wrist and tell her to take kiddo to the dentist; you take her yourself, or you call CPS.

IF you have any sort of legal custody btw, you'll also be scrutinized as to why you haven't taken her yourself.

 

[Proserpina]

(I suppose you could also try talking to your daughter and emphasizing the importance of dental hygiene and how lack thereof can lead to serious health problems...y'know, given that you're her parent and all )

 

[Isis1]

(I suppose you could also try talking to your daughter and emphasizing the importance of dental hygiene and how lack thereof can lead to serious health problems...y'know, given that you're her parent and all )

how does THAT help the OP blame mom?

 

[wavehopper27]

I understand and 100% agree that my daughter is old enough to brush her own teeth. While she is with me, I make sure she does it every day. She is stubborn and forgetful and I'm sure mom tries to make her brush as well. My concern is mom not taking her to the dentist. Mom has the dental insurance down in NC which won't cover her here and would a judge be likely to force her if necessary. I've even offered to cover half the out of picket costs so there really is no excuse for this.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You have 3 choices.

1. Make your daughter brush her teeth so they don't become so nasty.
2. Take your wife to court and request the court order her to take the child to the dentist
3. Spend $200 and get them cleaned yourself.

Which do you think is the most logical option at this point?

 

[ecmst12]

Going to the dentist twice a year is not going to keep her teeth from getting stained and looking neglected. She needs to take care of them the other 363 days.

 

[CJane]

My son (who is 6) would also tell you he's never been to the dentist. And he'd be right. He's never set foot in a dentist's office. But he has seen a dentist every year, in the high school gymnasium when they do free child dental visits.

In my state, it's a requirement to be enrolled in public school that a child have a dental visit every 12 months, and every 6 is pushed. That's why a dentist visits the school 2x/year. Are you sure that there's not a similar requirement in NC?

At the end of the day, what do you want to accomplish? Kiddo obviously isn't taking care of herself, or has an underlying health issue that is causing an increase in tartar build up. A dental cleaning isn't going to fix either of those issues.

 

[Banned_Princess]

My son (who is 6) would also tell you he's never been to the dentist. And he'd be right. He's never set foot in a dentist's office. But he has seen a dentist every year, in the high school gymnasium when they do free child dental visits.

In my state, it's a requirement to be enrolled in public school that a child have a dental visit every 12 months, and every 6 is pushed. That's why a dentist visits the school 2x/year. Are you sure that there's not a similar requirement in NC?

At the end of the day, what do you want to accomplish? Kiddo obviously isn't taking care of herself, or has an underlying health issue that is causing an increase in tartar build up. A dental cleaning isn't going to fix either of those issues.

we don't have anything like that in my district (or any other district on my island) as a matter of fact I'm surprised anyone does that!!



Actually, come to think of it, we do eye and hearing checks, and spine and lice checks. (lice mostly for elementary students) so I guess I'm not that surprised.