Do I have to give her to him?

[starabby]

What is the name of your state?Michigan, There is no order yet. We could not agree with the referree. So we are waiting for a hearing. I agreed to a visitation schedule for Tues, Thurs, and Sat from either 4-7 or 5-8. And everyother Friday from 7 pm to Sat at 7pm. The baby is almost 5 months. I attended a Friend of Court class and was told to try to make the overnights as normal as possible for the baby. So last night when he brought her back from her visit. He had kept my carseat and brought her back in a old one. And, when I told him about the class, and asked him, if when he takes her Friday night if he would take her bouncy seat. As she has a bad cold and doesnt sleep good in her crib because she needs to be more upright so she can breath better. I had taken her to the Dr yesterday for the cold and that is what he said I should try. I was already doing that and she did sleep much better. When I told him about it...he said no. He wasnt taking her bouncer and she was sleeping in her crib. And...this is his first overnight..and he isnt even going to be there after 5:30 am cause he has to work on Sat until 3:30 in the afternoon. And he said if she needs to sleep in her bouncer when she has a cold..then he wants a note from the Dr saying so. Where is his commen sense? I told him it is in our daughters best interest to try to keep things as normal as possible. But he will not listen. So I told him I would not be giving her to him overnight. He said he will be here to pick her up with the police. Now, I know he can not make me give her to him since there is no order. But I also do not want to look bad when the hearing does come up. But I am afraid the judge will say, if I do give her to him under this circumstance, why did you give her to him if you know he will not take proper care of her. I am so confused as to what to do. I called the attorney,,,and they said I should call the Friend of Court, I called them, and they say they can not advise me at all, as there is no order. Help.......What should I do? He also brought her back on Tuesday night and did not feed her at all....she didnt eat from 2 in the afternoon until after 7 that night. He said they had alot of running around to do. She is a 5 month old baby. She needs to eat. He said she was crying...but he just thought it was colic.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Michigan, There is no order yet. We could not agree with the referree. So we are waiting for a hearing. I agreed to a visitation schedule for Tues, Thurs, and Sat from either 4-7 or 5-8. And everyother Friday from 7 pm to Sat at 7pm. The baby is almost 5 months. I attended a Friend of Court class and was told to try to make the overnights as normal as possible for the baby. So last night when he brought her back from her visit. He had kept my carseat and brought her back in a old one. And, when I told him about the class, and asked him, if when he takes her Friday night if he would take her bouncy seat. As she has a bad cold and doesnt sleep good in her crib because she needs to be more upright so she can breath better. I had taken her to the Dr yesterday for the cold and that is what he said I should try. I was already doing that and she did sleep much better. When I told him about it...he said no. He wasnt taking her bouncer and she was sleeping in her crib. And...this is his first overnight..and he isnt even going to be there after 5:30 am cause he has to work on Sat until 3:30 in the afternoon. And he said if she needs to sleep in her bouncer when she has a cold..then he wants a note from the Dr saying so. Where is his commen sense? I told him it is in our daughters best interest to try to keep things as normal as possible. But he will not listen. So I told him I would not be giving her to him overnight. He said he will be here to pick her up with the police. Now, I know he can not make me give her to him since there is no order. But I also do not want to look bad when the hearing does come up. But I am afraid the judge will say, if I do give her to him under this circumstance, why did you give her to him if you know he will not take proper care of her. I am so confused as to what to do. I called the attorney,,,and they said I should call the Friend of Court, I called them, and they say they can not advise me at all, as there is no order. Help.......What should I do? He also brought her back on Tuesday night and did not feed her at all....she didnt eat from 2 in the afternoon until after 7 that night. He said they had alot of running around to do. She is a 5 month old baby. She needs to eat. He said she was crying...but he just thought it was colic.

Since there are no orders yet you are not obligated to abide by any agreements made...particularly since you didn't actually finalize any agreements. Therefore you do not have to let him take her overnight since he won't cooperate with what she needs due to her cold. The police can't do anything to help him.

I don't think that this one instance is going to do you any harm in court. You are cooperating with regular visitation despite the fact that you are not ordered to do so.

He absolutely CANNOT go 5 hours without feeding a 5 month old! You need to make it absolutely clear to him, preferibly in writing, as to what her feeding schedule is. He is also a jerk for taking your carseat, and you need to insist that he return it to you. Once he does that, don't allow him to have it again. Make him get his own.