Do I have to pay

[jtforkt]

i'm from mass, my wife & i have been married 1.4yrs. our oldest child is 3.7yrs. before she could go in maternity leave she was fired for failing a drug test. she chose not gain enployment after and now wants alimony. we had agreed to share an attorney but now i'm not sure. will i have to pay? i have no problems with child support, but alimony?

 

[nailtech]

theres nothing wrong with sharing an attorney, but remember if she employs the attorney, the attorney actually works for her and has no legal obligation to you... you could get screwed,..... if the attorney is yours then the advantage is yours... if she's talked you into using her attorney to save you money theres good reason, she wants it.. if you dont splurdge for your own attorney it could cost you more in the long run... or should I say "LOTS" I'm not an attorney, thats my opinion...

 

[jtforkt]

my wife hired the attorney. if this attorney is going to try a make me pay alimony am i wrong to change my mind and get my own lawyer before we go to court? right now we do have a court date but we are trying to have everything settled before we go and this attorney has not yet mentioned alimony.

 

[dorenephilpot]

If she wants alimony and has the attorney and you don't want to pay it, you need to RUN, not walk, to your own attorney.

If you BOTH have an attorney, then that evens the playing field and chances then are that she is not going to get anything along those lines UNLESS she became disabled during the marriage OR there is a huge disparity in income (you're a bank executive and she works at McDonald's and can't do much beyond that).

Her choosing not to work doesn't automatically qualify her for spousal maintenance.

However, if you don't have your own attorney working for you, your chances of paying maintenance (and her attorney fees) greatly increase.

 

[Kbmeow]

Well I would get your own lawyer. MA is one of the states that realy gets men on CS they have high guidlines. They have recently changed to include everything. ( bonuses comision etc..) There is also help available from the courthouse they have a dree lawyer of the day. Plus how is she paying for the lawyer? Did she go tot he state and get a free one? If she has gotten a free one alot of judges tend to be harder on the men. This is just what I have seen with my boyfriends case. And a little FYI there is some type of 6m law I dont know the specifics but it is to the point of if after the first case nothing further is done than after 6m the temp orders can come perm and a divorce entered on them. Lawyers of the day will help

 

[nailtech]

GENERAL LAWS OF MASSACHUSETTS


it states it takes all accounts into consideration...

section 34

I would find that piece of paper that stated she failed a drug test and they let her go(if there is one)... that might help you some to show why she wont work..

please find yourself a good lawyer...

 

[neverendit]

Considered mediation?

Just a thought: You stated that you both hoped to settle prior to the court date.

Divorce is ugly, and expensive. In my own experience, a lose/lose situation. Ask yourself if reconciliation is at all possible. If not, then step two:

Ask if mediation is an option. Consider dumping the current attorney, splitting the costs for a mediator, and settling before it gets in front of a judge.

Do an internet search using the words "divorce mediation" and read some of the sites that come up.

The ugliness portrayed in these sites can become a very real situation, and it's much better for both of you to make your own decisions rather than having someone else force them upon you.

 

[jtforkt]

i just wanted to say thanks to everyone. i didn't have a good feeling about her lawyer and as you all told me to run and get my own, i did, and her lawyer was going to try and get alimony behind my back my lawyer was able to very quickly get the information about my wifes reason for leaving her last job and explained to the judge what i was lead to belive prior to getting my own lawyer. the judge then said he did not appreciate gold digging people and hold on to your seats for this...the judge told her to get a job!! she did complain about cost of day care, and the judge said you had better get a good job. in the end i have to pay 1/2 of daycare and only 200.00 a week for child support. thank you all if not for your advice i would have made a big mistake.

 

[nailtech]

way to go Jforkt........ glad you got your way....... but gosh. 200.00 a week and your happy??,..... do ya wanna be my ex??

hehe.. just kiddin... best of wishes for ya... enjoy your freedom...

 

[tigger22472]

nailtech, I have dibs after you!!! I about fell out of my chair when I read the part about "only have to pay 200.00 a week." If he's happy I'm happy. But look at this stand up guy.... I think his next step is to get custody and make her "ONLY have to pay 200.00" a week. Course then the poor guy would see what most of us here go through because I doubt he'd get a dime.

 

[PoohBear8]

jtforkt: do you have a custody order yet? if not, are you trying to get custody...if she has a drug problem (and had it during her pregnancy), it seems to me you should try to get custody. i don't know any other particulars beside what you have posted, but if you don't have the problems your ex does, it seems that it would be in the best interest of your child that you be the cp. just my opinion.