Do I need a new attorney? So confused

[Iwant2bfree]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am new here.

Background: My Mother is BPD (Borderline Personality)- undiagnosed. Last summer I had finally had enough of her rants and asked her to seek professional help prior to coming around my family any longer.

Things then esclated. She called anyone who would listen to her and everyone told her to leave them out of it, everyone EXCEPT my CURRENT Father in Law and his wife. (My CURRENT Husbands Father and step mom).
They felt sorry for her and felt that I am being "abusive" to her.

Now, all 3 of them have filed several different suits. One against me and my ex husband for my oldest child. This one is for custody and visitation. The 2 other suits are against me and my current husband regarding our youngest child and that is for GPV only.

The hearing for my oldest is this coming week. The ex and I both are seeking no custody/visitation rights for any of them. I have been told though that although the in laws will likely be denied since they have no rights to her... my Mother will be joined in on the matter and we will be forced to mediation. (They all 3 used our divorce case to join in on)

Now, for the GPV on my youngest- 2wks ago the atty said she would file the papers and seek attys fees back since in our state we meet NONE Of the criteria where they can file for this since we are married and in an in-tact home. She then said it would be about 6wks for the hearing date.

Well, in yesterdays mail we recd the papers on that case from her. She has asked the parties to dismiss their cases or she will file for sanctions against them.

Personally I am frustrated. This is dragging this out. Why would she tell us one thing then we get papers doing another? Its makes me question things.

I have explained to her that having a BPD doing this is going to make this extra hard. My Mother will go to no end to make her point on all of this, even taking it to trial if it comes to that. She has no sense of reality and has been making up abuse stories as well (of which are all documented and given to the atty).

SO... should she have called me before just doing this? Or, is this standard to ask them to dismiss their case for the youngest? I feel this has just added fuel to the fire with my mother. I would have rather gone before a judge to have this dismissed which is originally what the atty said she would be doing when we met 2wks ago.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I am new here.

Background: My Mother is BPD (Borderline Personality)- undiagnosed. Last summer I had finally had enough of her rants and asked her to seek professional help prior to coming around my family any longer.

Things then esclated. She called anyone who would listen to her and everyone told her to leave them out of it, everyone EXCEPT my CURRENT Father in Law and his wife. (My CURRENT Husbands Father and step mom).
They felt sorry for her and felt that I am being "abusive" to her.

Now, all 3 of them have filed several different suits. One against me and my ex husband for my oldest child. This one is for custody and visitation. The 2 other suits are against me and my current husband regarding our youngest child and that is for GPV only.

The hearing for my oldest is this coming week. The ex and I both are seeking no custody/visitation rights for any of them. I have been told though that although the in laws will likely be denied since they have no rights to her... my Mother will be joined in on the matter and we will be forced to mediation. (They all 3 used our divorce case to join in on)

Now, for the GPV on my youngest- 2wks ago the atty said she would file the papers and seek attys fees back since in our state we meet NONE Of the criteria where they can file for this since we are married and in an in-tact home. She then said it would be about 6wks for the hearing date.

Well, in yesterdays mail we recd the papers on that case from her. She has asked the parties to dismiss their cases or she will file for sanctions against them.

Personally I am frustrated. This is dragging this out. Why would she tell us one thing then we get papers doing another? Its makes me question things.

I have explained to her that having a BPD doing this is going to make this extra hard. My Mother will go to no end to make her point on all of this, even taking it to trial if it comes to that. She has no sense of reality and has been making up abuse stories as well (of which are all documented and given to the atty).

SO... should she have called me before just doing this? Or, is this standard to ask them to dismiss their case for the youngest? I feel this has just added fuel to the fire with my mother. I would have rather gone before a judge to have this dismissed which is originally what the atty said she would be doing when we met 2wks ago.

I think it would be pretty normal to give them one shot at dismissing the case before taking it in front of the judge and asking for sanctions (on the youngest).

In the case for the oldest, what grounds is she claiming for custody? Unless she can prove you legally unfit (which is harder than heck to do) she doesn't have a prayer of winning a custody case.

Give your attorney a chance...ask your attorney about asking for a psych eval on your mother.

 

[Iwant2bfree]

Thank you so much for the response, makes me feel better!

Should she push it to trial we will go down that road. Financially this is killing Us (Hubby and I). There are 3 cases total against Me personally right now.

The request for custody on the oldest simply just states its in the childs best interest. None of the documents claim anything bad about any of us as the parents though.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you so much for the response, makes me feel better!

Should she push it to trial we will go down that road. Financially this is killing Us (Hubby and I). There are 3 cases total against Me personally right now.

The request for custody on the oldest simply just states its in the childs best interest. None of the documents claim anything bad about any of us as the parents though.

Did your oldest ever live with your mother?, without you in the home? If so, how long ago was that?

I suspect that the filing for custody was a tactic to scare you into agreeing to visitation.

I know its expensive, but don't make agreements on any of this. Make the judge rule on the cases on their merits.

 

[Iwant2bfree]

She has never had any custody at all of the child. Never provided financially, etc. She did take her on occasion when she was a toddler for an over night stay and would watch her if I had to work and the child was ill and couldnt go to daycare. Besides that it has always been the father, myself and the stepdad who have cared for her and provided for her.

I plan on standing FIRM on all issues. NO visitation, no phone calls, nothing. Knowing what I now know from family/friends I would have NEVER allowed her to be alone with either of my children. I never knew the full extent of how ill she was until this "pushed her over the edge" so to speak.

The child is old enough and knows what is going on. She herself has said she doesnt want to be forced to visit her grandmother. Problem is, I dont think she is old enough in our State to truly have a right to say what she wants.

 

[PQN]

How old is she?
When is the last time she saw grandma?
Is her dad also opposed to her seeing grandma?