Do I need to terminate parental rights?

[fght4yrmnd]

What is the name of your state? Florida

I am the mother of a 9 month old baby. I have not had contact or received child support from the father since September, he now resides in Virgnia. I am nervous about him someday coming back into our lives and demanding custody or just causing a scene. His name is on the birth certificate although we were never married. He has a drug problem and has allegedly been diagnosed with a mental illness, so I know that there is no chance that he would be awarded custody, but I just want to protect myself. Is there something that I should or need to do to terminate his parental rights? Or is it automatically done when the father fails to contact or financially support his daugher? Please let me know if there is something that I should do to get him out of my life legally.

 

[ejmmolina]

Not sure about Florida but some states have a time limit of 6 months to a year before you can TPR. And that is usually only if you have a spouse willing and able to adopt your child. Keep in mind child support is contact. BEfore jumping into TPR why not try supervised visits. Set up visitation through a court order. Its not very likely a judge will grant TPR.

 

[fght4yrmnd]

The thing is that he doesn't seem to want visitation. He has only seen her 3 times since she was born and didn't seem to want to spend quality time with her when he was here. So, without getting any child support from him since July, I am not going to push for visitation. I think what I am going to do is just let "sleeping dogs lie", and if years down the road he comes into our lives, I will deal with it then. Although, I doubt that that will happen. And I don't want to push for child support, for a few reasons, one, is that I don't think I will get it, two, I don't want him to have any influence on my daughter. He is a liar, a drug addict, selfish, and has many other character flaws. And third, the stress of having him in my life is not worth the measly, sporadic child support that I would recieve, if any.
Does anyone disagree with me on this?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You first said that he hasn't paid child support since the child was born.
Now you say you don't want to pursue child support.

You first say he has only seen the "BABY" three times since she was born.
Now you say he never sees her.

The first thing you had better realize is that without a court order for support and/or visitation, he doesn't have to do a thing. His name may be on the birth certificate but he is not the legal father without a court determining that he is.

Therefore, if 15 years down the road he decides that it's time to be a father, then yes, he can petition for visitation and get it.

 

[stealth2]

He is a liar, a drug addict, selfish, and has many other character flaws.

Yet you thought he would be a good person to father your child. Interesting.

 

[fght4yrmnd]

You first said that he hasn't paid child support since the child was born.
Now you say you don't want to pursue child support.

You first say he has only seen the "BABY" three times since she was born.
Now you say he never sees her.

I never said that he hasn't paid child support since she was born. And he has only seen her three times, the last time was in July.

So, what do i do to go about making sure that 15 years down the road he can't come back and demand visitation.

Stealth, no I never thought that he would make a good father....I made a mistake, as I'm sure you have too, sometime in your life. I don't regret a thing though, because I have a beautiful daughter that I wouldn't have if I hadn't made that mistake....So, what i say is....i don't regret it, i just learned a valuable lesson. but , I would like to say that i didn't post this in order to get judged or ridiculed, I was hoping to get advice from someone in the same position as I. Thank you for your replies.

 

[stealth2]

Except that is exactly what a judge will do. You know, make judgements. So, IF he files for visitation at any point and you start with these allegations, a judge is likely to say exactly the same thing. You picked him. Now you and the kid have to accept the consequences.

Sure, people make mistakes. However, all too often, they don't take the time to either realize or understand the ramifications involved. Having a kid with a jerk is a mistake that leaves the jerk in your life - and the kid's - for at least 18 years. He has rights - just like you do.

 

[worriedwith1]

Except that is exactly what a judge will do. You know, make judgements. So, IF he files for visitation at any point and you start with these allegations, a judge is likely to say exactly the same thing. You picked him. Now you and the kid have to accept the consequences.

Sure, people make mistakes. However, all too often, they don't take the time to either realize or understand the ramifications involved. Having a kid with a jerk is a mistake that leaves the jerk in your life - and the kid's - for at least 18 years. He has rights - just like you do.

Unfortantly Stealth is right, Dad has rights too. But ONLY if there was a paternity test proven him to be her father. If there has not been one yet, then thats a benifit you have on your side. Until Dad is proven to be dad by Paternity, he has no rights to her. He would have to file for paternity which could take some time and then he could very much get visitation to see his daughter. If Child support is not an issue then enjoy your life with your daughter and dont worry about it unless he shows up and wants to be involved. Good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[fght4yrmnd]

But, he was at the hospital when she was born and signed the birth certificate and a form acknowledging paternity, so in this case, I don't think that paternity needs to be verified. Am I correct in thinking this? The form stated that if he wanted to contest paternity he had 60 days, otherwise, he is her father no matter what and has to support her. If I wanted to get child support court ordered, how do I go about doing that?
Thanks again for your replies and your good wishes.

 

[stealth2]

You would need to file either through the court or with Child Support Enforcement. Someone who's more familiar with FL's procedures should be able to help.

 

[fght4yrmnd]

Stealth, you seem to know what you are talking about, I have a question that maybe you can help me with...He lives outside of DC in virginia...do I have to file with the CSE in Florida or in the state in which he lives? What if I do not have an address for him?

 

[stealth2]

Aack, this is one of those questions that always throws me. I'd contact CSE in the state where he lives as that's the state that has jurisdiction over him.

But you're going to need his address.

 

[haiku]

when I moved from the state of my original order, my new states CSE unit,enforced the child support order for me. So Florida MAY be where you want to start. they took care of finding him for me, after I supplied them with a last known work address.

 

[Gracie3787]

But, he was at the hospital when she was born and signed the birth certificate and a form acknowledging paternity, so in this case, I don't think that paternity needs to be verified. Am I correct in thinking this? The form stated that if he wanted to contest paternity he had 60 days, otherwise, he is her father no matter what and has to support her. If I wanted to get child support court ordered, how do I go about doing that?
Thanks again for your replies and your good wishes.

I'm a little confused because you have asked 2 questions that don't go well together. However, I will answer both, and then you will have to figure out what you REALLY want.

Question 1- How do you get him out of your life legally?

Right now simply because you weren't married and a DNA test has not been done to ESTABLISH PATERNITY he is legally out of your life because he is not legally the father. The way to keep him out of your life would be for you to do nothing- let him make the first move.
The upside is that he has no rights at this time so you can just say no if he wants to visit.
The downside is that you cannot collect CS now, or even back CS later, he can always file for paternity/visitation, and if you ever apply for public aid THEY will go after him for Paternity/CS even if you don't want them to.

Question 2- How do you go about getting CS ordered?

Go to the Fl. Dept. of Revenue Child Support Enforcement and talk to them. They will help you fill out papers to establish paternity and get CS even though he lives in another state. They will fill out the petition here and send it to CS offices in his state. The only thing you will have to do is fill out the papers and tell them his last known address in his state. After that all you will have to do is present your baby and yourself for Paternity testing after his state files.
The upside is that (hopefully) you will recieve CS for your child.
The downside is that when paternity/CS is established he will have rights to see his child.

Before you do anything, you really need to figure out if the money, that you MIGHT recieve (as we all know, just because a court orders CS it is NOT a guarentee that he will pay it) is really worth it, if you truly do not want him in you and your child's life.
I wish you the best.

 

[howamidoing]

You first said that he hasn't paid child support since the child was born.
Now you say you don't want to pursue child support.

You first say he has only seen the "BABY" three times since she was born.
Now you say he never sees her.

I never said that he hasn't paid child support since she was born. And he has only seen her three times, the last time was in July.

So, what do i do to go about making sure that 15 years down the road he can't come back and demand visitation.

Stealth, no I never thought that he would make a good father....I made a mistake, as I'm sure you have too, sometime in your life. I don't regret a thing though, because I have a beautiful daughter that I wouldn't have if I hadn't made that mistake....So, what i say is....i don't regret it, i just learned a valuable lesson. but , I would like to say that i didn't post this in order to get judged or ridiculed, I was hoping to get advice from someone in the same position as I. Thank you for your replies.

if you dont want anything from him and he is never involved with your daughter, nor wants to be, then what is the problem? What is your LEGAL question?