do we need biological fathers consent if biological is married to another man?

[hkyfish47]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

Ok so here is the situation: my husband and I were approached by a couple that have been married for 4 years the wife had an affair and is now 7 months pregnant they have gotten back together and worked everything out but do not want to keep this child the biological father does know she is pregnant but has e-mailed and text messaged both of them telling them he wants nothing to do with them or the child (he is a real loser) so my question is can the husband give his consent to adopt or will we need to hunt down this loser and get his consent? We have aldreay spoke to one family law attorney that had never worked with this situatuion before and now I am waiting on an attorney who only does adoption to call me back.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

Ok so here is the situation: my husband and I were approached by a couple that have been married for 4 years the wife had an affair and is now 7 months pregnant they have gotten back together and worked everything out but do not want to keep this child the biological father does know she is pregnant but has e-mailed and text messaged both of them telling them he wants nothing to do with them or the child (he is a real loser) so my question is can the husband give his consent to adopt or will we need to hunt down this loser and get his consent? We have aldreay spoke to one family law attorney that had never worked with this situatuion before and now I am waiting on an attorney who only does adoption to call me back.

wow. i've never heard this one before.

at this point, husband is the legal father since the he is married to mom. therefore, unless the biological father decided to file something contesting paternity the husband has all the rights to give up the child for adoption along with the mother.

BUT, if the biological father got an ant up his butt one day and tried to contest the adoption...would all the loopholes be closed to prevent that...

i'd consult with more then one adoption attorney if i were you. i think there are two states that will not allow a third party to interfere with an intact couple's parenting decisions with regard to a possible second father...but i don't recall north carolina as one of them.

 

[Ohiogal]

The putative father (the lover) would have to register on the putative father registry if he wanted to prevent the adoption. When the baby is born the legal father can consent to an adoption. many times they may do a JOHN DOE posting to CYA. That would be my method of doing things and it should work. But definitely pay attention to the adoption attorney in NC.

 

[hkyfish47]

Thanks for the advice

 

[ecmst12]

But does the lover know about the pregnancy? If she went through the adoption and he never knew about the pregnancy but found out later, he might be able to contest it....the safest course of action seems to be to make sure he consents.

 

[Ohiogal]

But does the lover know about the pregnancy? If she went through the adoption and he never knew about the pregnancy but found out later, he might be able to contest it....the safest course of action seems to be to make sure he consents.

From the initial post, yes:

the biological father does know she is pregnant but has e-mailed and text messaged both of them telling them he wants nothing to do with them or the child (he is a real loser)

 

[ecmst12]

Whoops

Sounds like getting his consent won't be a problem either way, so that's good.

 

[hkyfish47]

The only thing I worry about is the fact that this guy is such a loser that he will not consent just to get back at the bio mother and her husband. The bio mother told me this guy does have another child from someone else that he refused to be on the bith certificate so he would not be responsible for child support. I just pray that he will put the best intrest of this child before his hatred of the bio mom and her husband.
My husband did try to contact him by phone and the guy hung up on him 3 times before telling my husband 1st that the child was not his problem that the bio mom needed to deal with it then called back and said he would not sign over his parental rights...although this guy doesn't have a job or a home he just goes from friend to friend sleeping on their couch. He is on drugs and doesn't hide the fact. I
I don't understand how a mother doesn't need the bio fathers consent to have an abortion but does if she wants the child to have a good life!!
Will we be able to have him declared unfit?

 

[stealth2]

The only thing I worry about is the fact that this guy is such a loser that he will not consent just to get back at the bio mother and her husband. The bio mother told me this guy does have another child from someone else that he refused to be on the bith certificate so he would not be responsible for child support. I just pray that he will put the best intrest of this child before his hatred of the bio mom and her husband.
My husband did try to contact him by phone and the guy hung up on him 3 times before telling my husband 1st that the child was not his problem that the bio mom needed to deal with it then called back and said he would not sign over his parental rights...although this guy doesn't have a job or a home he just goes from friend to friend sleeping on their couch. He is on drugs and doesn't hide the fact. I
I don't understand how a mother doesn't need the bio fathers consent to have an abortion but does if she wants the child to have a good life!!
Will we be able to have him declared unfit?

Seriously - you people NEED to consult with some attorneys familiar with adoption. Your husband may well have screwed the pooch by trying to handle this himself. Don't make it worse by not speaking with an attorney.

 

[dannyt]

no

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

Ok so here is the situation: my husband and I were approached by a couple that have been married for 4 years the wife had an affair and is now 7 months pregnant they have gotten back together and worked everything out but do not want to keep this child the biological father does know she is pregnant but has e-mailed and text messaged both of them telling them he wants nothing to do with them or the child (he is a real loser) so my question is can the husband give his consent to adopt or will we need to hunt down this loser and get his consent? We have aldreay spoke to one family law attorney that had never worked with this situatuion before and now I am waiting on an attorney who only does adoption to call me back.

the woman decided this LOSER, as you call him, was good enough to lay down and spread her legs for. he doesnt have to consent to the adoption if hes found to be the father( if she will sleep with him, who knows who else she slept with?).

 

[Zigner]

the woman decided this LOSER, as you call him, was good enough to lay down and spread her legs for. he doesnt have to consent to the adoption if hes found to be the father( if she will sleep with him, who knows who else she slept with?).

Danny - this thread is well over two years old.