Does a child of 10 have the right to refuse to talk to noncustodial parent?

[Maria i garcia]

My husband is a non custodial parent living in WA state his son lives in CA withhis mother who has full custody. Last summer we went back to court to change the vistiation rights b/c we moved to WA. /my husband has the right to talk by phone and video call as often as his son schedual permits. The agreement is everyother day calls at 7pm. His son got mad one day b/c my husband said he was lying. No he doesnt want to talk to him and his mother says she will not force him to talk to his father. That he will call when he wants to. This happned weeks ago. There is time his son will sound fine and have brief convos. Other times he says i dont wnat to talk to you. And others his mom doesnt even answee or let us know his son doesnt want to talk to my husband. We feel it is mostly the mothere putting her to since in to my husband sons decision. Because she is mad that we found out she is having bby. Now does my husband 10yrs old son have the right to say he doesnt want to talk to him at all? Right now my husband cant offord to travel and visit him and we let them know. We are afraid this well make them loose their relationship more. What can we do?

 

[FlyingRon]

Children of ten have the right to obey the custodial parent (who had better be following any orders given by the court).
Blaming compliance on the fact that the child "doesn't wanna" is not an excuse you can use when the NCP drags you into court and a contemt order is issued.

 

[Maria i garcia]

Children of ten have the right to obey the custodial parent (who had better be following any orders given by the court).
Blaming compliance on the fact that the child "doesn't wanna" is not an excuse you can use when the NCP drags you into court and a contemt order is issued.

First of all thank you so much for answering.

The mother repeatly says shes mot forcing the son to talk to my husband tand that the child of 10 has that right. Tonight his son answered and said he doesnt want to talk to him and when he has somthing to say he will call him. My husband asked him if he was still mad? ... His son replied no he wasnt mad anymore . My husband asked if he didnt want to talk him ever?... he replied no. Just not now. But "now" has been almost every time my husband calls. And all he gets out of the ten year old are yes and No answeres. What can my husband say to the mother in order to make her understand she is not helping enforce a relationship with his father?... or what can my husband tell his 10yr old son about not having the right to block him from his life at this young age?... a way he can understan and not push him away?... my husband needs help making sure the child of 10 doesnt have that right. He doesnt wsnt to violet any rights but does wana keep trying to stay in his sons life and have a relationship with him, he want to have somthing like rules or law to back him up. All my husband wants to do is continue a relationship with his son and be able to figuere out what is the wrong and have a converstaion about it and try to resolve it.

 

[CTU]

First of all thank you so much for answering.

The mother repeatly says shes mot forcing the son to talk to my husband tand that the child of 10 has that right. Tonight his son answered and said he doesnt want to talk to him and when he has somthing to say he will call him. My husband asked him if he was still mad? ... His son replied no he wasnt mad anymore . My husband asked if he didnt want to talk him ever?... he replied no. Just not now. But "now" has been almost every time my husband calls. And all he gets out of the ten year old are yes and No answeres. What can my husband say to the mother in order to make her understand she is not helping enforce a relationship with his father?... or what can my husband tell his 10yr old son about not having the right to block him from his life at this young age?... a way he can understan and not push him away?... my husband needs help making sure the child of 10 doesnt have that right. He doesnt wsnt to violet any rights but does wana keep trying to stay in his sons life and have a relationship with him, he want to have somthing like rules or law to back him up. All my husband wants to do is continue a relationship with his son and be able to figuere out what is the wrong and have a converstaion about it and try to resolve it.

Your husband can take Mom back to court, but I think what's more important is that apparently there's some negativity that may not be all of Mom's fault. Perhaps Dad can suggest family counseling?

 

[Maria i garcia]

Your husband can take Mom back to court, but I think what's more important is that apparently there's some negativity that may not be all of Mom's fault. Perhaps Dad can suggest family counseling?

When we first moved my husband son Wanted to talk and even video call in the weekends. My husband thought things were okay talking in order of the adjustment for both of them being in different states. It slowely went to the yes and no answers. His son had asked to have a sibling in the beging wen we forst merried he was excited about it and we had talked to him that we couldnt now that maybe his mothere might one day. My husband found out by relitive his mother was having a baby and had congratulated his son on the phone for bing a big brother finally. Thats when things dramatically went down hill and his son was very upset about my hisband finding out. His son stated that was not my husbands problems and it was his, his mom and moms boyfriend. My husband said he understood that but anything that affected him"his son" good or bad was is problem. My husband asked him if he knew and the boy lied at first and said no. Then thats when my husband said he was lying. Thats when he got up set hung up on my husband and started saying he didnt want to talk to him and the mother said she wouldnt enforce it. Now counseling might work but does it have to be court orderd?.... mu husband had ask his sons mother before but she wont do it?

 

[Zigner]

Please feel free to have your husband log on to ask his own questions...

 

[Silverplum]

When we first moved my husband son Wanted to talk and even video call in the weekends. My husband thought things were okay talking in order of the adjustment for both of them being in different states. It slowely went to the yes and no answers. His son had asked to have a sibling in the beging wen we forst merried he was excited about it and we had talked to him that we couldnt now that maybe his mothere might one day. My husband found out by relitive his mother was having a baby and had congratulated his son on the phone for bing a big brother finally. Thats when things dramatically went down hill and his son was very upset about my hisband finding out. His son stated that was not my husbands problems and it was his, his mom and moms boyfriend. My husband said he understood that but anything that affected him"his son" good or bad was is problem. My husband asked him if he knew and the boy lied at first and said no. Then thats when my husband said he was lying. Thats when he got up set hung up on my husband and started saying he didnt want to talk to him and the mother said she wouldnt enforce it. Now counseling might work but does it have to be court orderd?.... mu husband had ask his sons mother before but she wont do it?

I don't know why parents move away from their children and expect the children to understand/buck up/get over it. That's unreasonable.

Dad can't visit, you say: so why should his child bother to have a phone relationship? In the child's mind, there's no point. So it's Mom's job to keep the parental relationship alive, and Dad makes a call sometimes. Good luck with that.

(ps: it's none of Dad's business if Mom is pregnant. Manners matter. Even his child knows that.)

 

[Maria i garcia]

Please feel free to have your husband log on to ask his own questions...

Is english is not very good!

 

[Maria i garcia]

I don't know why parents move away from their children and expect the children to understand/buck up/get over it. That's unreasonable.

Dad can't visit, you say: so why should his child bother to have a phone relationship? In the child's mind, there's no point. So it's Mom's job to keep the parental relationship alive, and Dad makes a call sometimes. Good luck with that.

(ps: it's none of Dad's business if Mom is pregnant. Manners matter. Even his child knows that.)

My husband circumstance and of our family is quite unusual and complicated . He had to make a choice to move that would help to be with his son in the long run. People might not understand not knowing the whole details of my husband situation. My husban believes that a phone and viedo call relationship is somthing compare to nothing at all while he tries to resolve moving back to be closer. And no he doesnt make calls sometime. He calls all and every time he can and is allowed. He pays his childsupport on time and send clothes and school supplies and constently askd if his son needs anything else aswell as gifts. He asks about his health and school all the time aswell. Though his mother doesnt give more then hes fine as an answer. He talks to his son about being respectful and listening to his mom. As well as his situation at hand that right noe doe not allow him to visit him the best he can to his sons age amd maturity. He Always make sure his son know he loves him and misses and thinks about him. And hope to soon be closer.

And your right it is not his business she is pregnant. But it is if his son is having a tough time with a new sibling coming. And to congratulate his son for being a big borther is not disrespectful to her or anyone. Its was a simple expression of happiness towards his son and his long awaited role as a big brother. Honestly there was no harm meant.

 

[stealth2]

Thing is, Mom can put him on the phone. She cannot make him talk.

At 10, the boy understands one thing - his Dad remarried, moved away from him, and has no time to come see him. No matter the actual reasons, that is how a child sees it.

As for the convo that you say changed things - how does Dad KNOW kiddo knew about the baby? How does he KNOW kiddo was lying?

Really, if it is so concerning to Dad, he needs to figure out how to see his son. And how to make amends.

At the end of the day, it is difficult to parent from a distance. And that is not the other parent's fault.

 

[CJane]

/my husband has the right to talk by phone and video call as often as his son schedual permits.

If THIS is what the order says? Dad is completely out of luck.

As for the other stuff? It may have started out as a sincere congratulations to the child. But that's not how it ended up if it devolved into Dad calling son a liar and son hanging up and refusing to talk to Dad going forward.

And I'll tell you - what son felt? It was something along the lines of "How dare you act as if you're still part of my life when you moved away and chose a life that didn't include me?" Now, that's probably not what Dad INTENDED when he moved away, but I promise that's how the child feels.