Dying Parent, no will or estate plan

[quicksand]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

Hello,

my mother and father live alone in a valuable house that is inappropriate for their severe medical conditions. My mother has two terminal illnessess. My father cannot walk or function normally. The house has no handicapped concessions. They have no cleaning,shopping, or medical assistance worked into their lives except for myself and my sibling, and we can't provide what they need, timewise or monetarily. My parents have no will, estate plan, funeral arrangements, nothing. They have a little bit of money, some equity in their house that they are borrowing off of privately ( a person rather than an institution), and no regard for consequence.

Basically they are dysfunctional people. Everything is in my mother's name, as my dad, I suspect, has a long list of creditors. Upon my mother's death, less than a year possibly, the estate will go into probate, and the creditors will take everything from my dad and leave him in the street. Or...my mother will outlive the few dollars they have, and have to give the house to the person they borrow from, and both be on the street.

I really don't know my father's finances. I do not know how much they borrowed. My parents do not make things easy and turn away any "normal" assistance and make life as hard as possible for themselves and those that venture into their lives. I can't make them do anything anyway. I am trying to avert the complete meltdown that is happening.

Can anyone suggest a way to have my mother sell the house, pay off the lender, manage my father's assisted care in a new place, as well as her own, and arrange the funeral details ahead of time (or it's cremation)? I would like to manage their remaining assets for their immediate needs. My father is paranoid of predatory actions by us, although he has no problem losing everything to strangers and opportunists. I don't anticipate inheriting anything at all under any situation. They are just leaving us with a huge irresponsible mess and alienating us further at this sad time.

Again, any insight is welcome, thank you.

 

[BlondiePB]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

Hello,

my mother and father live alone in a valuable house that is inappropriate for their severe medical conditions. My mother has two terminal illnessess. My father cannot walk or function normally. The house has no handicapped concessions. They have no cleaning,shopping, or medical assistance worked into their lives except for myself and my sibling, and we can't provide what they need, timewise or monetarily. My parents have no will, estate plan, funeral arrangements, nothing. They have a little bit of money, some equity in their house that they are borrowing off of privately ( a person rather than an institution), and no regard for consequence.

Basically they are dysfunctional people. Everything is in my mother's name, as my dad, I suspect, has a long list of creditors. Upon my mother's death, less than a year possibly, the estate will go into probate, and the creditors will take everything from my dad and leave him in the street. Or...my mother will outlive the few dollars they have, and have to give the house to the person they borrow from, and both be on the street.

I really don't know my father's finances. I do not know how much they borrowed. My parents do not make things easy and turn away any "normal" assistance and make life as hard as possible for themselves and those that venture into their lives. I can't make them do anything anyway. I am trying to avert the complete meltdown that is happening.

Can anyone suggest a way to have my mother sell the house, pay off the lender, manage my father's assisted care in a new place, as well as her own, and arrange the funeral details ahead of time (or it's cremation)? I would like to manage their remaining assets for their immediate needs. My father is paranoid of predatory actions by us, although he has no problem losing everything to strangers and opportunists. I don't anticipate inheriting anything at all under any situation. They are just leaving us with a huge irresponsible mess and alienating us further at this sad time.

Again, any insight is welcome, thank you.

Do you or any other family member have both Medical Power of Attorney and Durable Power of Attorney (for estate) for each of your parents?

 

[quicksand]

No we don't have either. My father has been telling my mother not to consent to any POA. I think she will consent now though, as things are getting worse. My sibling has good relationships with my mother's doctors, it's a necessity really, as my mother has very bad short term memory and can't remember medical advice or appointment times.

Thanks for your reply

 

[BlondiePB]

No we don't have either. My father has been telling my mother not to consent to any POA. I think she will consent now though, as things are getting worse. My sibling has good relationships with my mother's doctors, it's a necessity really, as my mother has very bad short term memory and can't remember medical advice or appointment times.

Thanks for your reply

From what you have written in your first post, your parents are not competent to sign a POA - which is reinforced with your second post. See an Elder Law/Probate Attorney that specializes in guardianships and petition for guardianships over your parents. Not everyone is eligible to be a guardian. Make sure the court order also designates a Health Care Surrogate/Proxy.

 

[quicksand]

Thanks for the advice, I will meet with an attorney and start the process. I'll post an update at the time of further development.