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Eloping....hiding from father

  • Thread starter Thread starter atrain74
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atrain74

Guest
We are in a dire situation. The father of the girl I want to marry has stated he will NOT allow this marriage and has made threats to that effect. He is a backwards man from another culture. His daughter came with him and has been raised with American sensibilities. The father has now decided for her that she will marry some uneducated illiterate person like himself from "back home". He is a hardened man who will not change. She, as an educated American, would kill herself before being married to someone like her father.

The fact that he is illiterate and is not very street-smart is helpful in case we decide to run. I however fear he may eventually solicit legal help (even though she's above 21) to help find her and we do not know what exactly he is capable of doing.

I had the idea of laying low (i.e. no paper work, insurance (ugh) for her) for a couple years until he "gave up". But even then, we would have the feeling of being on the run. This man his returning to his homeland for a visit in the next few months and the girl is worried he might "engage" her to some scrub of his choice. This is against our religion but he does not understand that.

He has refused to listen to her attempts at explaining I am the right man for her. So in fact he has no idea who I am or where we would live to even begin searching. But in the back of my head, I fear him finding something out and mostly I fear he might just take revenge on my entire family, parents included. That would really suck and is making me super cautious.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Train
 


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Kelly143

Guest
Not legal advice, just some things you may not have thought of...

If she is over the age of 18, she is an adult and her father can not "force" her to do anything. His hands are tied. If he tries to take her anywhere without her permission, it is kidnapping. Also, if he has no idea who you are like you said, he won't know who your parents are either! And, if you get married, her name will change as well, which will make it more difficult to find her.
 
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atrain74

Guest
How hard (easy?) is it for someone to find someone after a name change? Who keeps these records and how accessible are they by the general public? Can someone always cross-reference an old name with a new name?

Thanks,
Train
 
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deefran

Guest
Just a few suggestions also.... 1. If he attempts to contact a lawyer to STOP this, the lawyer will most likely laugh him out of his office unless the daughter is mentally incapacitated. 2. If he is so "backwards" how is he going to cross-reference anything? 3. If he tries to harass you and her, slap a restraining order against him. Most of all, make sure that the two of you really want to be together, because once she goes against him it may be really hard for her to re-enter her family. Good Luck to you.
 

Sculptor

Member
She COULD be traced

Names may change, but SS numbers go with you. Yes, people have gotten around that, but it's not legal!

Good luck!

Sculptor
 
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atrain74

Guest
Question: if someone has a US passport, how easy is it for someone else to know whether or not the passport holder has gotten a visa to any random country? Basically, can a person with any amount of resources available to them know that another individual has or has not left the country?

Thanks,
Train
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
atrain74 said:
Question: if someone has a US passport, how easy is it for someone else to know whether or not the passport holder has gotten a visa to any random country? Basically, can a person with any amount of resources available to them know that another individual has or has not left the country?

A person with any amount of resouces available can tell you the last time Al Gore had sex and the last time a French man laughed at a joke directed towards him...

I suggest you just grab ya girl and run for it. You have stated yourself he is not to bright.
 

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