Ex accused of sexual assualt to a child

[WAmom]

What is the name of your state? WA

I recently found out that my ex husband has been accused of sexually assualting his 9 yr old step-daughter. Him and I have a son together and I am afraid for him. Around the time this all started my son started to complain about going to his dads, and I just thought he was going through a stage. His dad and I worked it out and kind of let our son go to his house when he wanted. Now my son is supposed to be with his dad for spring break and I am afraid to send him.

What steps do I take to protect my son? I am a single parent and cant afford a lawyer.

Side note: My ex and I have been in and out of court fighting over a parenting plan and his current wife just filed for divorce last month to "protect her children" which says to me "HE'S GUILTY!!"

Thanks for reading.

 

[Ohiogal]

It says to YOU he is guilty. Find proof that he is guilty other than a divorce. Because I will say quite frankly that many divorces pull a trump card of abuse even when there is not. It is a pathetic accusation but it happens quite a bit.

Has your ex been charged? Has he been convicted? Has CSB become involved?

You can file for an emergency order asking the court to suspend visitation pending outcome of any abuse charges IF he has been charged.

 

[WAmom]

CPS was involved, the case has been sent to the prosecuting attorney's office, and a court date has been set for May.

My ex's stepkids have been taken away from the mom (she shared custody with her ex husband--one week with one parent/one week with the other) and now she get 15 hours every other week with the kids. My ex is not allowed near the house when she has the kids. (Yes he still lives there except when the kids are there--dont get me started on that twisted relationship).

Anyway, so should I file for a restraining order as well as suspending visitation until the court date? Or is that the same thing?

 

[Ohiogal]

CPS was involved, the case has been sent to the prosecuting attorney's office, and a court date has been set for May.

My ex's stepkids have been taken away from the mom (she shared custody with her ex husband--one week with one parent/one week with the other) and now she get 15 hours every other week with the kids. My ex is not allowed near the house when she has the kids. (Yes he still lives there except when the kids are there--dont get me started on that twisted relationship).

Anyway, so should I file for a restraining order as well as suspending visitation until the court date? Or is that the same thing?

You will want to file to suspend visitation until further order of the court while he is awaiting an outcome of his trial. You can request a restraining order but you may not get one at this point.

Oh and all this stuff in this post is important. It is relevant to know about criminal charges and CPS involvement rather than just his wife filed for divorce -- she could have accused him in the divorce filing.

 

[WAmom]

Oh and all this stuff in this post is important. It is relevant to know about criminal charges and CPS involvement rather than just his wife filed for divorce -- she could have accused him in the divorce filing.[/QUOTE]

Actually the girl went to her father and told him; he filed charges and started the investigation. I apologize I should have given all the facts.

Thanks for the advice, I will go today and file to suspend visitation until we know the outcome of his trial.

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks for the advice, I will go today and file to suspend visitation until we know the outcome of his trial.

And what if he's innocent?

Expect him to be FURIOUS with you. He will never forgive you, I guarantee it.

 

[fairisfair]

And what if he's innocent?

Expect him to be FURIOUS with you. He will never forgive you, I guarantee it.

Then there's gonna be some make up time.

 

[WAmom]

What if he's not!!

I've read all the declarations from all the involved parties including written statments and explicit pictures from the 9 yr old girl. (All public record) Not once in any of the paperwork, did my ex deny any of the alligations.


If he is found innocent, thats fine, but I am reacting to what possibly could be true. If the tables were turned he would do the same to protect his child. I am protecting my child first and asking questions second.

 

[xylene]

Expect him to be FURIOUS with you. He will never forgive you, I guarantee it.

I'm sorry is that sarcasm or are you really advising the poster to not take a third party allegation of sexual abuse seriously and act accordingly in order to spare the ex's feelings?

 

[Silverplum]

I'm sorry is that sarcasm or are you really advising the poster to not take a third party allegation of sexual abuse seriously and act accordingly in order to spare the ex's feelings?

Not at all sarcasm. It's the pure unvarnished truth of how human beings act.

I'm not advising her to do anything other than she's already been advised. I'm pointing out an Extra Truth that she WILL have to deal with. A consequence she might not have considered, so that she will not be surprised.

It's also truth that many, many parents accuse each other of horrible, dreadful things in their divorces, and that the allegations are not always true.

 

[xylene]

Her duty is to her child. Not her ex's feelings.

He was accused by the step-child BTW.

 

[Silverplum]

Her duty is to her child. Not her ex's feelings.

He was accused by the step-child BTW.

I know all of that. And I think I've explained myself more than sufficiently.

 

[fairisfair]

What if he's not!!

I've read all the declarations from all the involved parties including written statments and explicit pictures from the 9 yr old girl. (All public record) Not once in any of the paperwork, did my ex deny any of the alligations.


If he is found innocent, thats fine, but I am reacting to what possibly could be true. If the tables were turned he would do the same to protect his child. I am protecting my child first and asking questions second.

as you should. Silver was merely pointing out the alternate possibility. Alot of people do horrible, terrible things, and of course, alot of people get accused of things they didn't do.

 

[xylene]

A lot of people do things for which they are never punished.

What hell does that prove?

Nothing.

Paedo-dad can burn in hell if guilty.

If he is exonerated, well he'll have ex-wife one to blame too for piling on. What a pity. Now his kids lives are ruined too. Forever. Either way.

 

[fairisfair]

A lot of people do things for which they are never punished.

What hell does that prove?

Nothing.

Paedo-dad can burn in hell if guilty.

If he is exonerated, well he'll have ex-wife one to blame too for piling on. What a pity. Now his kids lives are ruined too. Forever. Either way.

so what's your point?

or are you just ranting?