Ex Has Never Tried to Collec for Child Support

[dennisbell]

Florida: Over the past 15 years, my ex has denied my visitation or communication with my daughter, who is now 22. My ex is remarried and my daughter still lives at home. I have tried to write letters, but they are always returned unopened.
They've always had an unlisted phone number, therefore, I could never call.

I finally found an address and phone number where they are living and called. My ex answered the phone and viciously told me not to bother them any more. She put my daughter on and she also said she wanted to be left alone. I believe my daughter wants to see me but is under the tyrannical rule of her mother. I have not paid child support for the past 17 years.

Under these circumstances, can my ex still try to collect for back support?

 

[stealth2]

Is there an existing support order? If not, it's unlikely she can do anything. If there is - start saving your money 'cause you owe it (plus interest). Lack of visitation is not a defense to ignoring a court order - supposrt and visitation are separate issues. If you weren't getting your ordered visitation, you had the option of filing against her for contempt, filing for a change in custody, etc - you did not have the option of not paying support.

 

[kat1963]

Well first the SOL on child support in Florida is 20 years. There was also a post similar to this a few days ago, IAAL response is the defense of laches (you can do a search of *laches* bottom of the page to read the entire post):

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE
Señor Member

Registered: Jan 2000
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 27510
My response:

It's HIGHLY doubtful - in fact, it's not going to happen - - that DH will be able to collect, even though you now have her SS#.

The fact is, DH could have attempted a "search " for her years ago, and didn't. That sets up certain "defenses" for her; i.e., the Statute of Limitations on enforcing a judgment, and "Laches". In other words, your DH "sat on his hands" (that's the layperson's phrase for, "He failed to enforce his rights in a timely manner").

Good luck. You're going to need it.

IAAL

That said, anyone can sue anyone for anything. You'll need a really good (and expensive) lawyer should she decide to come after you now.

KAT

 

[BL]

Over the past 15 years, my ex has denied my visitation or communication with my daughter, who is now 22. My ex is remarried and my daughter still lives at home. I have tried to write letters, but they are always returned unopened.
[ quote ]

In this scenario , If you had a Court Order for Visitation , and you Did NOTHING about it ( File Contempt & having them served at that address ) ( you can't claim you didn't know there whereabouts ) , so you can't use denial as a defense for non payment.

In order to use Denial Of visitations you would have to prove your visitations were denied & you did not know there whereabouts for the time you were ordered to pay child support.
( in other words you did nothing to try to Enforce your visitation rights even while knowing there whereabouts ).

As other posters stated .

 

[stephenk]

" believe my daughter wants to see me but is under the tyrannical rule of her mother."

Based on what? Your daughter is now an adult. If she wants to see you, she can. The fact that she told you not to call anymore is more convincing of her true feelings.

The fact that you were not aggressive in trying to see your daughter most likely plays a part in why she doesnt want anything to do with you. Cmon, you cant say you did everything you could to see her. You knew you were not paying child support and you weighed your options and decided to lay low.

It seems convenient that you only found her address after she turned 21.

 

[dennisbell]

I did not wait until my daughter was 21 to make my first call. I have been trying for years but had been blocked by all the other relatives as to their whereabouts. I had been receiving messages about incidences in my daughter's life but no one would give me any further information so I could call or write.

I've NEVER hurt my daughter in any way for her to not want to speak to me. Lots of kids have looked for their parents even after abandondment. The last time I spoke or saw her was 12 years ago. We always had fun together. I KNOW Her mother has "poisined" her mind against me...she's always had a viper's tongue. She has not allowed me to be part of my daughter's life and has never threatened for me to pay up!

You said the SOL is 20 years in Florida...20 years from the time of the divorce? When? Please explain.

I was penniless up to the last few years and now have assets in a family trust whereby my present wife is Trustee. Should I try to start making payments now or wait until the "ax" falls on me? And lastly, what if my letter with a check in it comes back unopened...what's my next step?

PS: I am not familiar with the term "laches". Please explain.

 

[stephenk]

But isnt your wife now facing tax problems because she believed "taxes were illegal" and didnt pay income taxes for the past 10 years?

What stopped you from going to court to get a visitation order or to enforce the orders you had? Your prior posts noted that you and your current wife were moving all over the country for the past decade. How do you know your daughter just gave up trying to find you?

 

[kat1963]

Nah, you know what? You didn't bother to file taxes for 20 years, (leaving the rest of us on the hook) nor did you pay child support for 17 years (so your ex had to scramble). So you can damn well go PAY a Family Law attorney to advise you on your situation from here on out as far as I'm concerned. You sure as heck aren’t going to be my realtor when I move to FL in 18 months. Maybe someone else will help you as I am DONE.
KAT

 

[dennisbell]

You are justified in your opinion as to what "facts" you have. I had some "misguided" information about a lot of things you mentioned.

I've made a change in my life and am ready to pay the piper and come clean and thought I'd seek some guidelines from this forum. Thanks for all your help and advice.

 

[stealth2]

I suspect that when your past history comes to light during a contempt hearing for support, there will be no defense and you will owe the back support plus interest. The IRS will be after you for any taxes you owe for the past however many years it is, plus interest. And your daughter will not be particularly amenable towards a relationship with you - which is perhaps where you screwed up the most.