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Ex now wants custody
- Thread starter usound76
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Sorry, I just realized that it didn't post.
Hello all! I have been having new problems with my ex since I won my CS appeal last summer. Shortly after that, I moved 100 miles away, but still reside in KY. My employer required me to relocate closer to the home office in order to keep my job. I went through the proper procedures and was granted the move by the court. I have been driving my daughter the 100 miles every other Saturday to see her father. We have kept the same visitation schedule of EO Saturday for 3.5 hours. This was set by him years ago due to issues with his wife (see posting history). Our daughter is mentally and physically handicapped and this is tough on herm but I do it anyway. The last couple of months, he has not shown up at the meeting place and does not answer the phone when I call. I wait for 1 hour, then turn around and drive the 100 miles back home.
In the last 6 months, he has been trying to get me to place our daughter in a home for disabled people. I am not at all open to this idea since she is only 7 years old and I am perfectly capable of caring for her. I have every intention to keep her home as long as I physically can. The last few times I have spoken to him, he is becoming more belligerent about this. He has even gone as far as to find a place outside of Louisville that takes disabled children. I refuse to even entertain this idea.
Friday, I received papers that he is filing for custody of our daughter. His grounds are based on an old KY statute mentioning cohabitation. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year. The statute is KRS 201.090, specifically item #5. When I asked him about this, he said it would be in both our best interests if he placed her in this “home” and that if I wouldn’t do it, he would. He told me “then neither one of us would have to deal with it” and the fact that I would have to pay HIM CS would just be “icing on the cake”! This is the coldest and cruelest thing he has ever said about our daughter.
Sorry this is so long, but my question is this: Is there a chance this can actually happen? Considering the fact that 1 year ago he wanted to TPR, and now custody…will a judge see through that?
Thank you in advance.
Sorry, I just realized that it didn't post.
Hello all! I have been having new problems with my ex since I won my CS appeal last summer. Shortly after that, I moved 100 miles away, but still reside in KY. My employer required me to relocate closer to the home office in order to keep my job. I went through the proper procedures and was granted the move by the court. I have been driving my daughter the 100 miles every other Saturday to see her father. We have kept the same visitation schedule of EO Saturday for 3.5 hours. This was set by him years ago due to issues with his wife (see posting history). Our daughter is mentally and physically handicapped and this is tough on herm but I do it anyway. The last couple of months, he has not shown up at the meeting place and does not answer the phone when I call. I wait for 1 hour, then turn around and drive the 100 miles back home.
In the last 6 months, he has been trying to get me to place our daughter in a home for disabled people. I am not at all open to this idea since she is only 7 years old and I am perfectly capable of caring for her. I have every intention to keep her home as long as I physically can. The last few times I have spoken to him, he is becoming more belligerent about this. He has even gone as far as to find a place outside of Louisville that takes disabled children. I refuse to even entertain this idea.
Friday, I received papers that he is filing for custody of our daughter. His grounds are based on an old KY statute mentioning cohabitation. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year. The statute is KRS 201.090, specifically item #5. When I asked him about this, he said it would be in both our best interests if he placed her in this “home” and that if I wouldn’t do it, he would. He told me “then neither one of us would have to deal with it” and the fact that I would have to pay HIM CS would just be “icing on the cake”! This is the coldest and cruelest thing he has ever said about our daughter.
Sorry this is so long, but my question is this: Is there a chance this can actually happen? Considering the fact that 1 year ago he wanted to TPR, and now custody…will a judge see through that?
Thank you in advance.
Proserpina
Senior Member
I would certainly hope that any judge with an ounce of intelligence would see this for what it is!
Quick question though - were you living with your boyfriend when CS was decided last summer?
Quick question though - were you living with your boyfriend when CS was decided last summer?
LdiJ
Senior Member
I would recommend that you get yourself a good attorney and let the attorney handle the situation. This should not be a winner for dad at all, but you will be in a stronger position with an attorney.
Yes, my bf had just moved in. The original judge had ordered that cs decrease because my bf could pay my bills, and he ordered that my bf move out pt we get married. That entireI decision was overturned on appeal a few months later.
He thinks I would owe him support because he would have custody.
He has never been to a doctors appointment, never met a teacher, never talked to a therapist since she was born.
He thinks I would owe him support because he would have custody.
He has never been to a doctors appointment, never met a teacher, never talked to a therapist since she was born.
Proserpina
Senior Member
Ordinarily, I would be very tempted to just laugh at the utter douchyness of your ex. But given that he's apparently found what might be enough of a sticky wicket to cause you a lot of angst, I'll second LdiJ's advice - get thee to an attorney.
Sometimes what "should" happen doesn't and what shouldn't happen actually does, and the last thing you want is to be blindsided by a judge who actually agrees with your ex.
Here's the entire statute...
201.090 Children that board may have committed.
The board may file a petition and proceed as provided in KRS 201.100, whenever it has probable cause to believe that any child under eighteen (18) years of age:
(1) Is abandoned, neglected or cruelly treated by its parents;
(2) Is habitually sent out or permitted to beg in public places or lives by begging;
(3) Associates with persons who tend to corrupt and contaminate him or her;
(4) Is known to be vicious or incorrigible; or
(5) Has parents who are in constant habits of drunkenness or gross debauchery or who are living together in unlawful cohabitation
Given the context of the statute, is this even applicable in my case??? "Unlawful cohabitation" is not clearly defined, I do not drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I'm totally confused!!!
201.090 Children that board may have committed.
The board may file a petition and proceed as provided in KRS 201.100, whenever it has probable cause to believe that any child under eighteen (18) years of age:
(1) Is abandoned, neglected or cruelly treated by its parents;
(2) Is habitually sent out or permitted to beg in public places or lives by begging;
(3) Associates with persons who tend to corrupt and contaminate him or her;
(4) Is known to be vicious or incorrigible; or
(5) Has parents who are in constant habits of drunkenness or gross debauchery or who are living together in unlawful cohabitation
Given the context of the statute, is this even applicable in my case??? "Unlawful cohabitation" is not clearly defined, I do not drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I'm totally confused!!!
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
Unlawful cohabitation is you living without legal recognition with your boyfriend -- i.e. not being married.
Proserpina
Senior Member
Does Dad realize that what he's quoting refers to an outside agency being able to do something?
I have absolutely no idea what is going on in his head. He's been trying to get out of paying support since we got divorced. He was furious when his support didn't get lowered when he had more children. I think he's grasping at straws to get out of paying. He thinks that by getting custody, I will have to pay him and he can just place her in a "home" and forget about her. He never calls to check on her and hasn't seen her for over 6 weeks. His behavior towards her just makes me SICK. He has never come to terms with her disabilities, and his indifference toward her is what led to our divorce.
LdiJ
Senior Member
Once again get a consult with a decent family law attorney ASAP. Start calling today and don't give up until you have an appointment some time this week. Ask the attorney about having venue changed to your county based on the best interests of the child and the availability of the professionals who currently work with the child. Again, this should not be a winner for dad but you need an attorney to make sure that it doesn't happen.
Also, please keep us informed on what is happening. I am sure that I am not the only one who would like to know your end results.