Ex wife wants me to sign off my rights...

[DJReed2205]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

We have been divorced since 2005 and I have seen our son at the most a total of 2 1/2-3 years. My exwife has denied visitation, has lied to the judge, has pulled every trick possible and the courts let her get away with it; even when I have proof that she is lying ect.

Our son is 7 and autistic; he knows that i am his father, however there is absolutely no connection/bond between us anymore.

His mother would like me to sign off my rights and she will drop the child support, if i willing agree to sign off my rights.

My question is, can this be done without her being married? Does she have to be married to the guy she is dating? They have been together for a year and I have no idea if they are planning on getting married, as I only have contact with her if it is absolutely neccessary.

Any help would be appreciated.

 

[ecmst12]

No, you can't sign away your rights unless she is married and the step parent will be adopting. And if I were you, I'd fight a heck of a lot harder to get your visitation back rather then being so eager to be rid of your flesh and blood child.

 

[donnagal]

Not a legal opinion, but best of luck to you...

DJReed,

I can't speak to the legal aspect. For that, I'd advise listening to the senior members legal advice.

From the human side of the issue, please know that there are those of us out here who feel your pain--the divorce and all the other things you mention as well as the grief of parenting an autistic child, then being separated from that child. I would not be the one to cast any stones, verbally, at you. I know that it is a very difficult path you are walking. Best of luck to you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In Michigan, they expect BOTH parties to support their children. With that said, you cannot TPR without a prospective adopter.

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/courtforms/domesticrelations/drindex.htm#cust

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/resources/publications/manuals/focb/pt_gdlns.pdf

http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/selfhelp/intro/family/domrel.htm

In order to go for contempt, you have to actually ATTEMPT to pickup the child. Have you ever contacted Friend of the Court for assistance? You have to send your request in WRITING - be specific.

 

[DJReed2205]

I have fought for my son... I have done everything the legal way. Yes I have tried to pick him up when I was scheduled to have visitation. His mother would refuse the visitation and yes I have filed a show cause hearing on her for denying said visitation.

Every time they order make up visitation and she refuses yet again. On top of this it is not fair to my son to be used as a pawn in this game his mother thinks we must play.

I do love my son, but I will not put him through this any longer and I will not cause him any more emotional stress.. He is 7 and autistic, and mentally he can not handle it. This comes from his pediatrician as well. She feels that all of the back and forth between his mother and I, will do nothing but push him further and further behind.

Do not judge me when you do not know the whole situation. My exwifes boyfriend/fiance(whatever she calls him now) does want to adopt my son, as well as my exwifes 2nd child from her 2nd husband.

I have had no contact with my son in over 2 years now, because my exwife accused my wife of abusing my son...and before you jump to conclusions MY WIFE DID NOT abuse him. We proved that my son did infact come to us for the last week of my summer vistation with him, with the bruises on his legs. There was documentation of it, but it still did not stop my ex from accusing my wife. Since then, I have had no contact with my son and minimal contact with his mother. We speak at least every other week in regards to medical matters ect, other then that I will not notify her of where I am living, as this is my wife's home as well and my wife does not need to be subjected to the things my exwife does

 

[Isis1]

I have fought for my son... I have done everything the legal way. Yes I have tried to pick him up when I was scheduled to have visitation. His mother would refuse the visitation and yes I have filed a show cause hearing on her for denying said visitation.

Every time they order make up visitation and she refuses yet again. On top of this it is not fair to my son to be used as a pawn in this game his mother thinks we must play.

I do love my son, but I will not put him through this any longer and I will not cause him any more emotional stress.. He is 7 and autistic, and mentally he can not handle it. This comes from his pediatrician as well. She feels that all of the back and forth between his mother and I, will do nothing but push him further and further behind.

Do not judge me when you do not know the whole situation. My exwifes boyfriend/fiance(whatever she calls him now) does want to adopt my son, as well as my exwifes 2nd child from her 2nd husband.

I have had no contact with my son in over 2 years now, because my exwife accused my wife of abusing my son...and before you jump to conclusions MY WIFE DID NOT abuse him. We proved that my son did infact come to us for the last week of my summer vistation with him, with the bruises on his legs. There was documentation of it, but it still did not stop my ex from accusing my wife. Since then, I have had no contact with my son and minimal contact with his mother. We speak at least every other week in regards to medical matters ect, other then that I will not notify her of where I am living, as this is my wife's home as well and my wife does not need to be subjected to the things my exwife does

if being a father is too much trouble for you, the wait till mom marries and file the TPR so new hubby can adopt.

 

[Silverplum]

I have had no contact with my son in over 2 years now, because my exwife accused my wife of abusing my son...and before you jump to conclusions MY WIFE DID NOT abuse him. We proved that my son did infact come to us for the last week of my summer vistation with him, with the bruises on his legs. There was documentation of it, but it still did not stop my ex from accusing my wife. Since then, I have had no contact with my son and minimal contact with his mother. We speak at least every other week in regards to medical matters ect, other then that I will not notify her of where I am living, as this is my wife's home as well and my wife does not need to be subjected to the things my exwife does

Very clear.

 

[Proserpina]

Very clear.

Crystalline, unfortunately.

 

[DJReed2205]

if being a father is too much trouble for you, the wait till mom marries and file the TPR so new hubby can adopt.

Being a father is not to much for me... clearly you people do not understand what the meaning of IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD IS.

 

[ecmst12]

It didn't occur to you that mom might be nervous about letting you take kiddo to your home when she doesn't know where you live?

 

[DJReed2205]

She did know where I was living up until 2 years ago... That does not excuse with holding the visitation up until 2 years ago. I can go to our Visitation case worker and get my vistitation back any time I want to, BUT it is in writing from my sons pediatrician that it is in his best interest to not be forced into having visitation with me. This could cause more damage mentally and emotionally and I for one will not be the cause of any more trauma to my son. I have fought with his mother enough.

I love my son to the moon and back, and I always will. But there comes a time and a place when a person says enough is enough

 

[DJReed2205]

Very clear.

For your information, MY WIFE has nothing to do with this. She know's that she has no say when it comes to my son. Her name however is listed on this house, and she does pay the bills. Therefore she does have a say in who is in her home.

And tell me, if someone accused you of abuse and you could prove that you did not do anything, would you want to have that person around you again? I think not... why would you subject yourself to being accused of that again... You wouldnt and thats exactly where my wife is coming from.

 

[ecmst12]

I disagree. There is no "enough is enough" when talking about your child.

 

[KGNY]

I am not in the legal field but I know some people that are going through some of the things you are going through. From what I was told, 3 years of no contact and no child support can help in the signing off rights if the parent remarries and the spouse adopts the child.

I do not know if you did this but you MUST keep all records, dates and times she called and what was said, you must record your attempts to visit as well, keep everything well documented. It does help with the courts.

Now his pediatrician is saying its best for you to be out of his life? hmmmm I would recommend a 2nd opinion, it is easy for her to speak with the Dr to have the Dr write the recommendation, you do not know what she is telling the Dr. Also was this presented to the courts? If not, it is not up to the Dr to decide if you get to see your son or not. Speak with Autistic specialists as well, you can find a lot of organizations online and explain your issue and better understand how it will affect him. You being in his life and she taking him out of your life would have an affect the same it would any other child. If your child can go to therapy and see a Dr with no problem then why cant he see you with no problem, he may not have a problem but she does.

I would look into a lawyer, a good lawyer, but please note it will be a fight but you need to know your rights.