ex won't communicate

[two4two]

What is the name of your state? Texas

What so you do about an ex that will not speak with you regarding any issue with the children? I had an issue with insurance--tried to talk to him---get called names, he hangs up, won't answer phone. I have questions about medical bills---tried to talk to him----get called names, he hangs up----won't answer phone. Set up payment arrangements for medical----try to talk to him about it----calls me names---hangs up----won't answer phone. Ex won't see kids since new girlfriend moved in, but calls every other night to ask how they are doing, but anytime I try to discuss ANY situation with him other than "they are fine" he gets mad and hangs up. I am so tired of this situation and have begged and pleaded with him (on his voice mail of course) to talk to me, but he refuses. I have sent certified letters trying to discuss the situations, but he does not respond. I can go back to court to get 50 % of the medical, but other than that the situation will be the same. What else can I do? Unfortunatly, there are issues that we BOTH have to be involved with in order to get things paid, done, and achieved, but he refuses to even speak to me on these things, yet he calls to harrass me all the time, then hangs up whenever I mention any ISSUE. I am sick about this and do not know what else to do. I have the money available to back to court, but will it do any good with pushing communication?

 

[CJane]

Neither you, nor the court, is likely to be able to force him to communicate with you.

What is it that requires his communication? Is your order written so that things require his consent, or just that he's informed? Is it worded so that you have final decision making powers?

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? Texas

What so you do about an ex that will not speak with you regarding any issue with the children? I had an issue with insurance--tried to talk to him---get called names, he hangs up, won't answer phone. I have questions about medical bills---tried to talk to him----get called names, he hangs up----won't answer phone. Set up payment arrangements for medical----try to talk to him about it----calls me names---hangs up----won't answer phone. Ex won't see kids since new girlfriend moved in, but calls every other night to ask how they are doing, but anytime I try to discuss ANY situation with him other than "they are fine" he gets mad and hangs up. I am so tired of this situation and have begged and pleaded with him (on his voice mail of course) to talk to me, but he refuses. I have sent certified letters trying to discuss the situations, but he does not respond. I can go back to court to get 50 % of the medical, but other than that the situation will be the same. What else can I do? Unfortunatly, there are issues that we BOTH have to be involved with in order to get things paid, done, and achieved, but he refuses to even speak to me on these things, yet he calls to harrass me all the time, then hangs up whenever I mention any ISSUE. I am sick about this and do not know what else to do. I have the money available to back to court, but will it do any good with pushing communication?

CJane is correct. No one is going to force communications. Just make sure he owes you enough money that taking him to court seems worth it. He doesn't want to talk to you. Weather its childish or irresponsible being stupid is not a court offense, just owing you money is. Let it go until he owes you enough.

 

[heartwood]

mail and email

My situation was very similar to yours - I now communicate with my ex through email. I can send him information about the kids, PDFs of bills, everything so he has a copy and knows exactly what he needs to know. If there's ever a question, I just go back to my email archive and resend him the info. Works great for me - I don't have to put up with his verbal abuse and he is still informed about my concerns, etc.
If he doesn't have email - send it in regular mail, just make sure you keep a copy for yourself.
You don't have to take the abuse either. Tell him when he can speak to you in civil tones you'll be happy to talk to him and hang up.

 

[eme76]

My situation was very similar to yours - I now communicate with my ex through email. I can send him information about the kids, PDFs of bills, everything so he has a copy and knows exactly what he needs to know. If there's ever a question, I just go back to my email archive and resend him the info. Works great for me - I don't have to put up with his verbal abuse and he is still informed about my concerns, etc.
If he doesn't have email - send it in regular mail, just make sure you keep a copy for yourself.
You don't have to take the abuse either. Tell him when he can speak to you in civil tones you'll be happy to talk to him and hang up.

just make sure to keep a paper copy of e-mails too that way nothing gets accidently deleated or lost

 

[ceara19]

Neither you, nor the court, is likely to be able to force him to communicate with you.

I agree completely, but how do you think the judge would react if she had to bring him back to court ONLY to get the information she needs, especially if it's an ongoing ordeal? Emails and letters are good ideas, but they are just as likely to go ignored as the calls.

 

[CJane]

I agree completely, but how do you think the judge would react if she had to bring him back to court ONLY to get the information she needs, especially if it's an ongoing ordeal? Emails and letters are good ideas, but they are just as likely to go ignored as the calls.

That's why I asked what, exactly, he's refusing to communicate about, and also asked what the order says re: consent to issues vs notification. If all that's specified is notification, and she does that - he's not obligated to respond.