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Father gets no help in court

  • Thread starter Thread starter nicki
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nicki

Guest
Here Goes: In Ky, It's not the worst situation, but it feels that way when it's your life. My husbands X is Uncooperative, Mean, Jealous, Vindictive and downright cruel. She has been on a power trip and uses the children to do battle. It seems the only thing that ever matters to her is the child support, daycare money, and barking orders. It's not like my husband has ever been a dead-beat dad. My husband is one of the good guys. Truely. He pays support timely and might I add GENEROUSLY! He has visitation, and begs her for more. She refuses. The more the kids are here the more they want to be. That threatens her. We have been back and back through the court system, and keep getting a unhelpful attys. We are about $7000 into trying to obtain what should be given for free. The kids are 9 and 12. The mother has a history of bi-polar, manic depression, sucicide, is already divorced a second time, and continues to have live in, after live in. She shows the children broken relationships constantly. She has moved them over 5 times in 3 years, and moved their schools 3 times in one year! The childrens grades are now dropping to some D's and F's, the 12 year old is a constant bed wetter. The doctors say it's not medical, it's mental. The older one displays ANGER, and is starting to display violence. We are at our end. We just don't have thousands of dollars to have a full blown court battle with all the court evaluations, and so-on. We have tried that route, but always get halted because our money runs out. (After a second mortgage, and several loans) She dosent physically abuse them, and she sends them to school, so she's not un-fit, but the problems are clearly there. The children have NO social skills, because with her disease, (bi-polar) she pretty much keeps them in all the time, and dosent promote socialization. They are rude like her, uncaring like her, and the problems even go to hygiene issues. We are told time and time again, that the family court just dosent have time for so many "MORAL DIFFERENCES" and that as long as their is not any "abuse," The mother keeps the kids. Have you ever seen the face of a father watching his two sons grow into two young juvenile deliquents right before his eyes? It's hard. I'm not blowing this out of proportion. We try to model our behavior properly around them, and hope they will figure out for themselves that normal life is not unsocial, uncaring, dis-respectful and full of hate. But that is what they are around most of the time. I guess our issues are moral, but how do we procede from here? Any Day now, we are scared to death the older of the two kids will so something that is illegal, or causes restitution, or something of that nature. He's showing all the signs. We have already been through 1 year of therepy with him, his mother refuses to participate with it, the therapist ended up cutting him for not participating. He would just sit there. What can we do to protect ourselves legally from being responsible for the route this child is starting to choose? The womans atty is a milking *#!^**@! And loves to service his client any way he can. What I mean is, nothing is ever solved, but lost in the battle. The only ones who suffer are the kids. They have a loving father who cares and wants to help, but keeps getting the door slammed in his face. After a while, you stop knocking. Help!

[Edited by nicki on 12-18-2000 at 03:10 AM]
 


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fustrated

Guest
Feel for ya

I know exactly how you feel, I also have a husband who's EX is the most selfish spiteful person I have ever met.
She continuously uses the daughter as a tool, refuses to follow court orders and visitation time timetables, Is 42 yrs old and been married 8 times, 3 times in the last 5 years, not to mention boyfriends in between.
She feels she is above the law, countless time and $$ going to court, and court again, and court again, just to Enforce court orders.
HOW LONG CAN THEY GET AWAY WITH BEING AWFUL PROPLE AND PARENT ???
I have no answer for your question I just wanted you to know you are not alone.
 
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nicki

Guest
Dear Frustrated,
I am finding that the situation we are in is not uncommon at all. Fathers and Mothers should be treated equally in the court system, and it just isin't that way. The atty's want more money, the court dates take months to obtain, the X-wife in this situation just teases and taunts, and says to my husband if he asks for an additional day one week, or something like that, she will reply with, No, it's not your court ordered time. If you don't like it, take me to court! She knows that the law is always on her side. SHES THE MOM!! (Term used LOOSLEY) Everyone tells me, just be patient, the children will see through her soon enough, and when that happens, things will change.Hard to Believe. These children are molded to please their mother, and their mother only. Meanwhile, For us, Just More money, more heartache, and more headache. Thanks for your response, I hope to get some kind of legal advice on this topic. No reply for that yet. Still Waiting.
Sincerely, Nicki
 

LegalBeagle

Senior Member
nicki said:
I hope to get some kind of legal advice on this topic. No reply for that yet. Still Waiting.
Sincerely, Nicki

I am not saying I can help.. but there is more chance of me and others trying to help if I read your post in the first place. Since your post contains a 40 line paragraph, I open the thread, saw one big long post with no breaks and went on to the next post..

Remember, most people who help out on these boards read upto a 100 posts a day..
 

jyoung

Member
not even sure there is an answerable question here anyway,
venting is fine but its better to be specific in what you need.
 

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