• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

faxed from home

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

waitinMd

Member
What is the name of your state? Md

My ex's mother and grandmother were court ordered to get hair follicle tests. The grandmother got hers 2 weeks before the hearing (the lawyer must have told them they would not get the child unless they were hair follicle tested). The mother got hers 10 days after the hearing. They were court ordered, but the tests say 'doctor ordered', which is ok, they still tested, BUT... the results were faxed to the doctor, the testees picked up the results and then somewhere along the line, they were photocopied (smaller), and faxed from the grandmothers home fax machine to her lawyer.

Her lawyer sent my lawyer a letter saying I need to allow the new visitation based on the presentation of the hair follicle tests. My lawyer sent me the tests, with a letter 'please review these, I will be back next week, if you have any questions contact me then'.

Do I have to accept tests faxed from a home fax machine when they were court ordered tests?

:confused:That is not protocol. I was tested and was told my results had to go from the lab to the court, and my ex is still being tested and hers go from the lab to the court?

Thanks.
 


waitinMd

Member
visitation no. In that environment, yes.

I have made other arrangements for my ex to see the child other places. I even pay a health club membership for her to meet me at a very nice family club which has many activities for her and my daughter to do. She has missed 11 out of 30 visits, her choice not mine.

It boils down to 'following the court order', which she has never done. Plus, who is to say they didn't 'edit' the test results?
 

CJane

Senior Member
So, when your attorney returns, have him subpoena the actual results from the testing facility.

You ARE going to have to wrap your head around the idea that regardless of your personal feelings about your ex's family, they WILL have a relationship with this child - even if it's not the relationship you WANT them to have - and it WILL be at their discretion as soon as those results show that they're clean.
 

waitinMd

Member
I know, I've been trying to wrap all week! It's hard when the entire family, both her maternal and paternal side lie to me.

There are too many hands in the pot! I have to deal with her mother, maternal grandmother, father, paternal grandmother and grandfather, and ALL these guys she is hanging around.... she calls me from several phone's... remember she is kicked out of her house, so is is living 'where ever'..... so it seems everyone has a say. The only person who stays out of her visitation is the maternal grandfather. Getting tired of this real quick, my family doesn't interfere.

I'll start wrapping. Thanks. :D
 

CJane

Senior Member
I know, I've been trying to wrap all week! It's hard when the entire family, both her maternal and paternal side lie to me.

Hey, I get it. I've kept up with your story and I know what you've been through.

But I also know this... NO ONE in her family owes you honesty. They can lie through their teeth every day for the rest of your child's life and there is NOTHING you can do about it. It's likely (VERY LIKELY) that the judge won't care either... as long as your daughter isn't physically harmed.

Does it suck? Yup.

It's a different situation entirely, but my ex accused me of having 'a fluid definition of honesty' and therefore, I should have supervised visitation with the children. The judge said "She doesn't owe you honesty and your difficulty with that is your problem, not the court's."
 

waitinMd

Member
This is so depressing... :(

Our judge does care about family interference, but there are so many huge issues in my case that the family interferring is 'petty'... she has those new criminal charges, and is now in violation of her probation on several counts.

I keep telling myself 'what comes around, goes around', and I have to say that I have many friends who have gone through this themselves as children, now that they are young adults (average 22yrs) they tell me they ended up always choosinig the parent who never slandered the other. They tell me how bad they felt when their parents would fight or one parent would say bad things about the other.

Thanks again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
 

majomom1

Senior Member
They can lie through their teeth every day for the rest of your child's life and there is NOTHING you can do about it. It's likely (VERY LIKELY) that the judge won't care either...
CJ... why would the judge not care? Sorry I haven't read this entire story... but I guess I would expect a judge, at least, to care about honesty. My ex is talking to my kids about a lot of things and he is not telling them any truth and has now admitted, to a witness, that he will not foster any relationship for my kids, with me. He thinks they need to know every single detail... they are not "truths"... they are his own opinions. They are young enough and choose the fun stuff over evil mom.... but I thought a judge would see it differently.

I have many friends who have gone through this themselves as children, now that they are young adults (average 22yrs) they tell me they ended up always choosinig the parent who never slandered the other. They tell me how bad they felt when their parents would fight or one parent would say bad things about the other.
Waitin... I hope my kids get to this point. Right now they seem to be siding with all the slander and have joined in that I am just mean and vindictive (because I won't buy them everything they want)...
 

CJane

Senior Member
They can lie through their teeth every day for the rest of your child's life and there is NOTHING you can do about it. It's likely (VERY LIKELY) that the judge won't care either...
CJ... why would the judge not care? Sorry I haven't read this entire story... but I guess I would expect a judge, at least, to care about honesty. My ex is talking to my kids...

I'm not talking about whether or not the OP's ex/her family are honest with the CHILD - but whether they're honest with HIM. THEY do not owe HIM honesty outside of whatever is in the order (if they're to keep him apprised of the child's whereabouts, etc).

If your ex is disparaging you in front of or to the children - even if he IS being honest - the judge will certainly care.
 
What is the name of your state? Md

My ex's mother and grandmother were court ordered to get hair follicle tests. The grandmother got hers 2 weeks before the hearing (the lawyer must have told them they would not get the child unless they were hair follicle tested). The mother got hers 10 days after the hearing. They were court ordered, but the tests say 'doctor ordered', which is ok, they still tested, BUT... the results were faxed to the doctor, the testees picked up the results and then somewhere along the line, they were photocopied (smaller), and faxed from the grandmothers home fax machine to her lawyer.

Her lawyer sent my lawyer a letter saying I need to allow the new visitation based on the presentation of the hair follicle tests. My lawyer sent me the tests, with a letter 'please review these, I will be back next week, if you have any questions contact me then'.

Do I have to accept tests faxed from a home fax machine when they were court ordered tests?

:confused:That is not protocol. I was tested and was told my results had to go from the lab to the court, and my ex is still being tested and hers go from the lab to the court?

Thanks.

I wouldn't accept squat that your X had a chance to alter. Subpoena the records, that is the only way you can be sure that they haven't been doctored.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I wouldn't accept squat that your X had a chance to alter. Subpoena the records, that is the only way you can be sure that they haven't been doctored.

And in the meantime he may very well have to allow visitation. Because unless the court order states that there is a particular way in which the results have to be sent, he can be found in contempt.
 

waitinMd

Member
That is what I am worried about happening, being in contempt. I am trying to work something out with her for an alternate location we can both agree on. The hair follicle tests were 'court ordered', but they were not presented as 'court ordered' to the lab, they were presented as 'doctor ordered'. The lab is saying if they are court ordered the results have to go to the court. They need the 'order' in order to send them there. I don't know if I am allowed to provide the order, I called my atty, he can send it.

My ex doesn't even want to meet at her mothers house anymore, not since she has been kicked out. I hope we can find another location.
 
And in the meantime he may very well have to allow visitation. Because unless the court order states that there is a particular way in which the results have to be sent, he can be found in contempt.


Sure, I wasn't commenting on wether he should withhold visitation, just that he shouldn't accept the results without receiving them direct from the lab.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Can you get the testing provider to simply agree to CONFIRM whether the fax you have is unaltered? Will they allow YOU to fax to them what you received and simply answer yes or no whether it is the same as what they have?
 
Can you get the testing provider to simply agree to CONFIRM whether the fax you have is unaltered? Will they allow YOU to fax to them what you received and simply answer yes or no whether it is the same as what they have?

Wouldn't that violate HIPPA laws. They can't give the results to her unless court ordered.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
Top