Filing false violation

[Serenity2009]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I received court papers in which my children's father says that I denied visitations, he called I did not answer, he knocked on the door I did not answer.... this of course is not true.

The children were ready for his visits, he never shows up or calls and cancels.

He is filing for sole custody due to parental interference (his words), saying that I am being uncooperative in co-parenting and that I have Munchausen by proxy. He claims that our children's autism is only due to me and people wanting to use them to make money.

He had been on board with treatments, schedules, diets etc. until recently, he stated that he will no longer keep the children's diets or schedules and will no longer administer treatments.

In part I believe that he is doing this because I have started seeing someone new, in part I believe that he is doing this to help fix his relationship with his girlfriend.

I know I picked a winner, people are never who you think they are.

Does he have a chance in court? Does he have to maintain what is in the children's best interest?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I received court papers in which my children's father says that I denied visitations, he called I did not answer, he knocked on the door I did not answer.... this of course is not true.

The children were ready for his visits, he never shows up or calls and cancels.

He is filing for sole custody due to parental interference (his words), saying that I am being uncooperative in co-parenting and that I have Munchausen by proxy. He claims that our children's autism is only due to me and people wanting to use them to make money.

He had been on board with treatments, schedules, diets etc. until recently, he stated that he will no longer keep the children's diets or schedules and will no longer administer treatments.

In part I believe that he is doing this because I have started seeing someone new, in part I believe that he is doing this to help fix his relationship with his girlfriend.

I know I picked a winner, people are never who you think they are.

Does he have a chance in court? Does he have to maintain what is in the children's best interest?

He might have a chance depending on what evidence he has of his allegations.

 

[Serenity2009]

He might have a chance depending on what evidence he has of his allegations.

I honestly do not know what proof he could have. Our children were ready for his visits when they were suppose to be, it's not my fault he did not choose to have a visit.

Medically, he has tried the accusation before, I spoke with the children's doctor, he said that he would have reported such a thing if he thought it was the case, the children only go to the doctor if they are sick which is fairly rare, the children were diagnosed by him and other trained doctors and the children's therapists agree with the diagnosis as they treat the children and interact with them on a very regularly basis.

 

[mistoffolees]

I honestly do not know what proof he could have. Our children were ready for his visits when they were suppose to be, it's not my fault he did not choose to have a visit.

Do you have any proof that you were at the house when Dad was supposed to show up for visitation? Did you have a friend or relative visiting at the time? That would help.

Otherwise, it becomes 'he said, she said'. In most cases, if there's no evidence on either side, the judge is not going to hold either party in contempt. He might give both of you a stern warning, though.

When Dad brings up the issue, you will get a chance to explain to the judge that you had the children available each time and ask Dad for proof that you denied him visitation - such as a police report or witnesses. Also, ask for Dad to prove that he called - his phone bill will list unanswered calls if he's using a cell phone (or, if you use a cell phone, bring in your bills which will show if he called you).

Medically, he has tried the accusation before, I spoke with the children's doctor, he said that he would have reported such a thing if he thought it was the case, the children only go to the doctor if they are sick which is fairly rare, the children were diagnosed by him and other trained doctors and the children's therapists agree with the diagnosis as they treat the children and interact with them on a very regularly basis.

This one gets trickier. Your statement that the doctor was OK with it is not sufficient. A written diagnosis and care plan from the doctor MIGHT help, but it would technically not be admissible. Some judges will allow it (particularly when the accuser doesn't have any real evidence), but the only sure way to know that your side is heard is to call the physician in to testify - which could be expensive.

The same thing applies here - if ex starts to make accusations, you simply point out that he's not a licensed physician and his opinion is worthless. Ask him to prove his accusations. If he brings in documents, you challenge them - since documents can not be cross-examined. What exactly is he alleging (it should be in his official complaint document)?

Bottom line is that for him to get anywhere, he needs to PROVE that you're negligent - which would be extremely difficult (if not impossible) to do. However, there are a number of procedural issues involved. It would be far better if you have an attorney.

 

[shellcode84]

He need proof,he should of call the police,he ain't getting sole custody lol

Bring the cell phone bill see if his number showed up,or regular phone bill,

 

[Isis1]

He need proof,he should of call the police,he ain't getting sole custody lol

Bring the cell phone bill see if his number showed up,or regular phone bill,

huh? what the....did someone let their pet use the computer again?

 

[Ohiogal]

He need proof,he should of call the police,he ain't getting sole custody lol

Bring the cell phone bill see if his number showed up,or regular phone bill,

The phone bill -- regardless of what type -- is NOT going to be the end all to this case.

 

[mistoffolees]

The phone bill -- regardless of what type -- is NOT going to be the end all to this case.

No, but it could help.

 

[shellcode84]

extactly,! it could help,bunch of dummy's,in case he tells the judge,"i did call," she got proof he didn't

no duh, that wouldn;t end the case.

 

[mistoffolees]

extactly,! it could help,bunch of dummy's,in case he tells the judge,"i did call," she got proof he didn't

no duh, that wouldn;t end the case.

First, please don't write like a third grader. Do you understand sentences and punctuation? Use them.

Second, the phone bill is NOT proof that he didn't call. It is evidence but would not, by itself, constitute proof. And, it may not even be admissible unless the judge is being lenient with a pro se litigant.

 

[shellcode84]

Haha, i was not calling you a dummy, yea i have a hard time with it, I was not good in grammar lol Us human are not good with certain things.

 

[Silverplum]

Haha, i was not calling you a dummy, yea i have a hard time with it, I was not good in grammar lol Us human are not good with certain things.

Take the time you would spend posting here, and STUDY English instead.

Your writing is not readable.

 

[Serenity2009]

UPDATE: Further issues

We went to court for the 30+ violations my ex filed. The Judge heard testimony from my ex, my mother and I, looked over my ex's phone bill (said it was inadmissible due to the fact he printed it out and it could be altered), we are adjourned until May me being directed to allow visitations, and my ex was told to pick the children up for visitations and NOT file any more violations.

The very next week my ex filed two violations because I refused to cancel our youngest's surgery, and because her pre-op appointment was during his visitation. Both violations were thrown out because there is nothing in our court order that was violated.

Since court my ex has been bringing his girlfriend to pick-ups, I did not care until she started trying to pick fights, I had my mother take the children out for pickups to avoid conflict, she started on my mother, and no my ex has to pick the children up from the door. His girlfriend now yells from the car, and impedes communication. He refuses to communicate unless she is present, phone calls are only answered when she can listen in (she yells makes rude comments etc), emails are read and responded to by her, and as she insists on yelling and being belligerent communication at pick ups and drop offs it is impossible ti communicate. I am sick of having to go through her, she is a girl friend. This should be between dad and I.

Dad tried to cancel surgery, has canceled appointments, rescheduled appointments and as a result doctor appointments have been missed. Dad refuses to take part in our oldest's school and therapy. He has tried to cancel therapy against doctor, therapist, and my wishes. I have taken the children to doctor appointments to find that dad canceled because he thought they were unnecessary... they were rechecks for ear infections which had not gone away and required further medication, the doctor appointments were not during his time.

We have Joint legal custody with primary residence being with me.

This pick up his girlfriend was in her car (they have to use two cars as their daughter can not fit in his car with our two children) she blocked the street not allowing local traffic through, when he was putting the children in the car she yelled over to him leaving the children unattended in his running vehicle. Then she took pictures of the back of my house, I have no idea why, maybe of my trampoline (has enclosure, was recommended by oldest's therapists)?

Is there any way to keep her from pick-ups, from interfering in communications? Would filing for sole custody be a smart move? I do have an appointment with a lawyer for the 16th, but I'd like to be prepared.

 

[Just Blue]

We went to court for the 30+ violations my ex filed. The Judge heard testimony from my ex, my mother and I, looked over my ex's phone bill (said it was inadmissible due to the fact he printed it out and it could be altered), we are adjourned until May me being directed to allow visitations, and my ex was told to pick the children up for visitations and NOT file any more violations.

The very next week my ex filed two violations because I refused to cancel our youngest's surgery, and because her pre-op appointment was during his visitation. Both violations were thrown out because there is nothing in our court order that was violated.

Since court my ex has been bringing his girlfriend to pick-ups, I did not care until she started trying to pick fights, I had my mother take the children out for pickups to avoid conflict, she started on my mother, and no my ex has to pick the children up from the door. His girlfriend now yells from the car, and impedes communication. He refuses to communicate unless she is present, phone calls are only answered when she can listen in (she yells makes rude comments etc), emails are read and responded to by her, and as she insists on yelling and being belligerent communication at pick ups and drop offs it is impossible ti communicate. I am sick of having to go through her, she is a girl friend. This should be between dad and I.

Dad tried to cancel surgery, has canceled appointments, rescheduled appointments and as a result doctor appointments have been missed. Dad refuses to take part in our oldest's school and therapy. He has tried to cancel therapy against doctor, therapist, and my wishes. I have taken the children to doctor appointments to find that dad canceled because he thought they were unnecessary... they were rechecks for ear infections which had not gone away and required further medication, the doctor appointments were not during his time.

We have Joint legal custody with primary residence being with me.

This pick up his girlfriend was in her car (they have to use two cars as their daughter can not fit in his car with our two children) she blocked the street not allowing local traffic through, when he was putting the children in the car she yelled over to him leaving the children unattended in his running vehicle. Then she took pictures of the back of my house, I have no idea why, maybe of my trampoline (has enclosure, was recommended by oldest's therapists)?

Is there any way to keep her from pick-ups, from interfering in communications? Would filing for sole custody be a smart move? I do have an appointment with a lawyer for the 16th, but I'd like to be prepared.

If I were you I would beg, borrow or steal the funds to hire an attorney. A motion for p.u./d.f at a local Police Dept and an court order for non-interference from gf/bf/new hubby or wife or any legal stranger.

 

[Serenity2009]

I have an appointment with an attorney for the 16th, I'm trying to be prepared for the appointment.

When putting my oldest last night, he started crying, saying he had to say with Mommy, I said it's only bed time. He said that dad's girlfriend was buying a bed for our youngest and that they were going to live with daddy and her. I told him that this was adult business, that he would still live with mommy and visit daddy, nothing would change.

That being said, My ex does seem to be up to something. We settled a new visitation schedule in November, he gave up over nights with our youngest as he never used the visits, set the schedule to every Saturday from 10-5 with youngest, Every other Saturday 10-5 with our son, and every other Saturday from 10am until noon Sunday with our son, and a week day visit with our youngest.

When my ex and his girlfriend are having issues, we end up in court, he files for full custody (then drops it when the GAL tells him it is not a good idea). If I file for court order for non-interference from gf, will that open up custody/visitation again?