Filing for Custody then Divorce?

[CRM001]

What is the name of your state? NM

Well, the shthefan tonight!!

I just learnt, only after a month and a day since my wife left the house with the children (3) that she decided we're not going to work to fix the marriage but fight to terminate it!!!

So...need help.

I am wondering if it is possible to file for custody and then for divorce...or in any case, since my wife is giving me a hard time to stay overnights with my baby (toddler as someone from this forum correctly pointed out) if it is ok to just file and fight for joint custody and then "let her spend the money" on the divorce case.

Is it possible? I understand that the custody comes as a divorce or legal separation "package" but I wonder what really is the sequence of events and if I can file the petition for custody with one lawyer and then have another lawyer to represent me for the divorce.

THANKS again!!!

 

[CandiceH]

This is what I did. I filed for custoday IMMEDIATELY and then CS following that order while my attorney worked on the divorce portion. I wanted to make sure that my ex could not just take the kids and book it into Canada. Custody was more important than anything and my attorney thought it would be quicker to go through Family Court on that aspect. You should really consult with a local attorney before filing any motions.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NM

Well, the shthefan tonight!!

I just learnt, only after a month and a day since my wife left the house with the children (3) that she decided we're not going to work to fix the marriage but fight to terminate it!!!

So...need help.

I am wondering if it is possible to file for custody and then for divorce...or in any case, since my wife is giving me a hard time to stay overnights with my baby (toddler as someone from this forum correctly pointed out) if it is ok to just file and fight for joint custody and then "let her spend the money" on the divorce case.

Is it possible? I understand that the custody comes as a divorce or legal separation "package" but I wonder what really is the sequence of events and if I can file the petition for custody with one lawyer and then have another lawyer to represent me for the divorce.

THANKS again!!!

Why would you want to pay two different retainers to two different attorneys? That doesn't make any sense.

In general, its more cost effective to handle everything together.

Plus, as you stated in your previous thread you are an independent consultant who works out of town most of the time....you are currently home only 1 week a month. Therefore, mom is absolutely going to get primary custody. You can certainly get joint legal custody (joint decision making) but you certainly cannot get true joint physical custody.

It would be in the best interest of your child to make this whole process as amicable as possible.

 

[tigger22472]

Why would you want to pay two different retainers to two different attorneys? That doesn't make any sense.

In general, its more cost effective to handle everything together.

Because sometimes the relationship between parent and child is more important than money maybe??

OP I would suggest what Ceara stated, at the very least see an attorney now and see if it's plausible.

 

[LdiJ]

Because sometimes the relationship between parent and child is more important than money maybe??

OP I would suggest what Ceara stated, at the very least see an attorney now and see if it's plausible.

Read his previous thread....He has no hope of primary custody, and I don't see how filing a separate custody case first would speed anything up for him.

 

[tigger22472]

Read his previous thread....He has no hope of primary custody, and I don't see how filing a separate custody case first would speed anything up for him.

The only relevent thread I see is the one in which he is complaining his wife is imposing on his time with the child and I am unsure where you are certain he has 'no hope of primary custody'? Not to mention, how YOU see things and how a local attorney with obviously more information see it aren't relevent either.

 

[CRM001]

Thanks!

Thanks to all of you for your input so far.
Just to clarify, I am not looking for "primary custody" I am just looking to spend time with my son a week a month, plus weekends, and to have it structured so that I am not at my ex's mercy. That's it.

 

[acmb05]

The only relevent thread I see is the one in which he is complaining his wife is imposing on his time with the child and I am unsure where you are certain he has 'no hope of primary custody'? Not to mention, how YOU see things and how a local attorney with obviously more information see it aren't relevent either.

because the OP travels quite extensively with his work and is only home about 1 week a mo nth. No judge would give primary custody to the parent if they are gone 3 weeks of every month.

 

[acmb05]

Thanks to all of you for your input so far.
Just to clarify, I am not looking for "primary custody" I am just looking to spend time with my son a week a month, plus weekends, and to have it structured so that I am not at my ex's mercy. That's it.

One attorney can do all of this for you. You don't need the added expense of two attorneys and really one would be better anyway as they would then know everything going on with your case instead of having to consult with another attorney if he would have questions about the custody/visitation side of it.