Found my child!!!!

[TheGeekess]

I wasn't saying it to be rude or sarcastic. It is the truth and when she is 18 (that's what I mean by getting older) I WILL tel her the truth. Just because people have kids together doesn't meant they have to stay together

The Teen's father has done this.... Now she's in therapy. So, yeah, you go ahead with your fine fine plans. And don't forget; Mom is probably waiting for the same opportunity. And how you act now will certainly be noticed and remembered by your child. And that's how she'll make her judgment. I'll bet dollars to donuts that when she's of age, she refuses to have a further relationship with you.

 

[sometwo]

actually my father left my mother when i was just two years old...so I know what it feels like to lose a father and not have one around. AND...prior to my leaving, the mother and i argur constantly and she would use my child as a pawn whenever she got angry with me. This is about me and my child, no one else matters..you guys can say what you want. My child Will know me, my wife and her sibling and any other child me and my wife make together.. and if i cant see my child, then when she grow up, I'll tell her why I couldn't see her (because mommy and daddy hated each other and couldn't get along so daddy left).

you so don't get it. Its always about you , what you want, what you feel , what you think , etc etc etc.

You can't say its about the child because your actions and words show different. Please seek counseling to deal with your issues. Especially since your planning to jump back in your child's life after being a dead beat dad.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I'll tell her why I couldn't see her (because mommy and daddy hated each other and couldn't get along so daddy left).

In other words, you hated the mother more than you loved the child.

You're broken. Get fixed.

 

[mistoffolees]

Get fixed.

In both a figurative and a contraceptive sense, please.

 

[ecmst12]

Way to make your child hate you even more when she is an adult then she does now (well, you're a stranger and you can't hate someone you don't know). Way to show her exactly how much she means to you. Mom was right to hide from you, you don't deserve to know your child until you adjust your attitude.

 

[LdiJ]

In both a figurative and a contraceptive sense, please.

You HAD to do that while I was at work....I just spit water all over my desk.

 

[RRevak]

OP you're disgusting and remind me of my childs biological father. The father who chose to have zero contact with lil bit out of his anger towards me (for child support) and his attaching himself to a girlfriend who wanted no part of a child. Fortunately for my child she is being adopted by my husband. As another senior has stated, you'll be lucky if your child wants a relationship with YOU despite how much you want a relationship with him/her. My daughter was well aware her father wasnt around and when he did visit she wanted no part of him. Even being only 6 she refused to call him dad and instead called him by his first name (no seniors she doesnt call my husband "dad" either , and this came even with gentle correction that he was indeed dad) and was ambivalent to his wanting of affection when it was time for him to leave.
Children know when their parents arent around and tend to build walls to protect themselves emotionally. Just being dad isnt enough for your child to want you to be dad. You have to suck up your anger towards mom and do whats best for your child which in this situation isnt what you did. For your childs sake I hope their mother finds someone who will be a better "father figure" than you were. At least that way your child learns how a "father" should act. Shame on you.

 

[CJane]

You know what guys? Let this guy go into court with exactly this attitude. Let him show a judge how it is in this child's best interests to have ANY time with him at all.

We all know that if he's granted visitation after this absence (remember, it's "only" a year, but it's HALF THE CHILD'S LIFE), it will be supervised and it will be in Mom's community. And I'm willing to place wagers that he will NOT follow through on that once it becomes inconvenient. Especially since his wife is not at all supportive of this.

What are the chances it's going to be ok with HER that he 1) Pay child support 2) Pay for frequent trips to see the child WITHOUT HER 3) Pay for the child to visit them eventually?

Not happening.

 

[RRevak]

You know what guys? Let this guy go into court with exactly this attitude. Let him show a judge how it is in this child's best interests to have ANY time with him at all.

We all know that if he's granted visitation after this absence (remember, it's "only" a year, but it's HALF THE CHILD'S LIFE), it will be supervised and it will be in Mom's community. And I'm willing to place wagers that he will NOT follow through on that once it becomes inconvenient. Especially since his wife is not at all supportive of this.

What are the chances it's going to be ok with HER that he 1) Pay child support 2) Pay for frequent trips to see the child WITHOUT HER 3) Pay for the child to visit them eventually?

Not happening.

That poor kid .
I stand by my post even more now as i'm sure you're correct. I hope mom finds someone who will care for the child like a father so hopefully he learns how it feels to be loved by a father figure.

 

[SESmama]

Based on his previous posts I bet he will be back swearing over the CS and cost of the transportation. I really wish mom were here so we could tell her exactly whatnshe could ask for.

All transport be paid for by him
All visits to be in the CHILD'S town (at least until she is old enough to travel alone)
She should ask for him to pay for supervised visitsbat a center
She should ask for him to pay for therapy for the child, him, and mom
He should have to pay for all medical insurance

And those are the least I can come up with.

 

[justliving]

If your daughter was your family...you wouldn't have walked out on her and you wouldn't be in this fine boat that you have sailed for yourself.

How old is your "new child?" How long have you had the "new wife?"

And...drum roll...now that you have a "new family" you want your daughter.

My child is two and my child with my wife is 11 months. I was married to my wife for a 1 1/2 years now...And for the record, my child is only two my child will adjust soon.

 

[RRevak]

My child is two and my child with my wife is 11 months. I was married to my wife for a 1 1/2 years now...And for the record, my child is only two my child will adjust soon.

Until you get angry and walk out again....because if your child meant so little to you that you could do it once I'm hard pressed to believe she means enough to you to not do it again. Fathers like you make me ill. NO amount of anger towards the other parent is enough to make a REAL father leave their child...NONE! YOU are NOT a REAL father.

 

[InfantCustody]

My child is two and my child with my wife is 11 months. I was married to my wife for a 1 1/2 years now...And for the record, my child is only two my child will adjust soon.

And I am correct...you wanted nothing to do with your daughter until you had a wife and a new family.

Truly...go to court...be exactly who you are and I am sure the judge will give you what you deserve.

 

[Mom_of_Two]

My child is two and my child with my wife is 11 months. I was married to my wife for a 1 1/2 years now...And for the record, my child is only two my child will adjust soon.

What you don't seem to get is that your attitude hasn't changed. You are still the same man that walked out, you are still the same man that thinks it's all mom's fault, you haven't gotten the mental help YOU need...so your selfish mistakes are probably going to be repeated!

You may have a chance at being a great dad (won't hold my breath), but until you see the errors in your behavior towards BOTH mom and child, and get help to get past your own issues, you are going to keep making the same harmful mistakes. This is not about you, your wife, or your new baby...this is about this poor child that you abandoned and her mother that you care not about!

 

[Halls]

I have had a similar situation. My sons father didn't care that much till he got a new wife. It has always been about my sons father, never about our son. He has wife have punished my son to hurt me for years. And I never got an apology for the deadbeat absent father he was for 2-3 years.

My son is now 13. His stepmom is mean to him and dad doesn't care. My son tells me often he can't wait till he's 18 so he can be done with them. It's sad, very sad! You sound just like my ex. If you're not careful you'll end up having a child that hates you and wants nothing to do with you. Course you'll probably just blame the mom for it like my sons father does.

You don't take responsibility for your own actions then you deserve everything coming to you!