Girl Molested by Family friend, and under his influence.

[Bummer1002]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

We have some good family friends that I am trying to find this out for. They have a daughter, 15, who was molested by a supposed "friend" of their family, a 34 year old guy. What the problem is, is getting the daughter to cooperate with her parents who are prosecuting this man. She is to some extent, but we think she still may be willing to "cave" to the guy's pressure on her. She liked him a lot before this happened, and is very immature and emotionally unstable. What they are afraid of is that she doesn't have the will or the guts to convict this guy and testify accurately to get him sentenced.

Any tips as to how to go about this, and getting her to cooperate with her parents, or any tips on what kind of information we would need to help bolster the case even if she isn't willing to "go for the kill"

Bummer1002

 

[stealth2]

Is the girl in counseling? A good therapist may be able to help her (a) understand that what the guy did was wrong and (b) withstand the stress and pressure involved in the situation. Other than that, noone can force her to tell the truth. Hopefully, there is more proof than just her say-so.

 

[Bummer1002]

I think she'll be put into therapy, that's a good suggestion. She has to understand that what the guy did was wrong, and that he is "not a ncie person". You know? Yes, we are gathering proof. She testified to the cop, to her parents and to me, and all three testimonies were the same, detail for detail. Hopefully they can bring this to a close, but like you said, you can't force her to tell the truth.

Bummer

 

[TalulaRae]

I was under the impression that once the police have gathered all the evidence and taken statements from all involved they hand over the case to the DA and then it is out of the victim's hands, so to speak.
I am in California which might be different. In other words: "The People of _______city or county vs JOHN DUMBASS DOE."

I work with girls who have eating disorders and rape is almost always involved. If this girl is 15 and the molestation occured anytime in the last 2-3 years, given her strong hesitancy to cooperate, it is very common for the teen to believe she is truly in love with the molester. Especially since you said this is a friend of the family who commited the crime. This makes getting the child to even discuss it, for fear of hurting the molester, difficult at best. Also, the girl may be in contact with the man, sometimes to try to protect them or to hold on to them. Too many variables, obviously. My point really is the age of the child, your friends daughter, is the most problematic for this situation. This 34 year old scum of the earth has probably manipulated the hell out her. Therapy has about a 25% chance of changing her views at this point.

You are very kind to be helping this family, they are going to need the support.

 

[Bummer1002]

TalulaRae, you relaly hit the nail on the head. It happened within the past two weeks. When the cop was talking to her and mentioned that he could get up to 20 years, she flipped out. We are still not sure if she is contacting him. We think she might be over Instant Messenger. I have spoken with her and she has said she isn't, I think I would believe her. But like you said, he's got her under her thumb and it's going to be an uphill battle. She's the type that said "Oh well maybe he'll just get probation" and would be willing to move on.
blah, it's a mess, thanks guys.


Bummer1002

 

[thelizzy]

This child needs to understand that if she had any contact with this man in more than a friendly manner, that he is guilty of sexually abusing and/or statutory rape, whether or not she consented or not.

I speak from PERSONAL experience on this one. When I was 16, I met a 31 year old co-worker that I thought really "Cared" for me. Perhaps he did. Regardless of that, the bottom line is that A MAN OF THAT AGE HAS NO BUSINESS HAVING ANY CONTACT WITH A CHILD OF THAT AGE IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PROFESSIONAL OR SUPERVISED FRIEND ROLE.

I was brainwashed into thinking that because I consented, it was okay. It *wasn't* okay, and he should have KNOWN that it wasn't okay, what we were doing, and been the adult and stopped all contact.

Get her to counseling, and talk to the police and/or a lawyer.
Oh, and while her parents are at it, unhook her internet, take her cell phone, and ground her butt.

 

[Bummer1002]

Well, she has finally come to her senses and is cooperating fully with her parents regarding testifying. Is there a website that has the official law of North Carolina regarding child molestation, statutory rape, exposing oneself to a minor, exposing oneself in public etc? I'd like to see this to know just where we stand......

thanks
Bummer