What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
hello, my question pertains to my step-sons. i'll try to be brief on the back story. the boys are 6, twins. my husband and their mother were never married and broke up about 5 and a half years ago. shortly after he and i got together and she got together with her boyfriend. we were less then thrilled when he started living with her and the kids. he has anger problems and we just didn't trust him. nothing we could really do thouhg. flash foward a few years to when they're 3 & 4. let me go back and clarify at that time they had joint custody with her having phsyical custody. when they would come over they would tell us stephen (the boyfriend) hits them when they're bad. don (my husband) had serveral conversations with his ex and the boyfriend saying he is not to be hitting his kids. then one time he hit the one child with a spoon so hard it bruised, i think he was about four. dyfs had been called in a few times, but it was always unfounded because we never had proof. it got to the point where they would cry bloody murder when we had to take them home and stephen was going to be there. they would have nightmares, wet the bed. we tried so many times to talk to her and him about our concerns adn nothing was done. my husband went and tried to file for custody and was denied.
well, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, there was FINALLY proof. one night he threw kyle against the wall and left a huge bruise on his back. thank god the school saw it asked him what happened and he told them. so they called the case worker. the mother and boyfriend were trying to say that he was wrestling with his brother and fell and all that.
they went into court and left the kids in the home, but filed a "safety plan". i forgot to mention their mother and boyfriend have a daughter together, she was 2 and a half when this happened. the safety plan said that he was not allowed to be alone with any of the children, including his own daughter, unsupervised.
all was going well, so we thought until one day in august. we got a call that don had to come to their house quick coz the social worker was there and he was alone with the kids. aparently this was the second time. the worker had been out a few weeks prior and he was alone with them. adn she told them if it happens again she's leaving with the kids. so that day she did. luckily the boys came to us that night. their sister was originally placed with her grandmother, but had to be removed because the house was unsuitable. so she ended up in foster care for the weekend. we couldn't be foster parents because we only have one extra bedroom and she would need her own since she is a girl.
thankfully when we went into court that monday the judge overulled it and let us have emily. we wern't able to be foster parents so they placed custody with us. so thank god she was with people she knew and her brothers. so all the kids were with us and the mother, boyfriend, or thier grandmother were not allowed to be around them unsupervised for a long time. when we went back into court in january she got emily back. it kind of seemed like they were just going to give the boys back. the kids lawyers brought up that don was looking to get custody of his boys. and the mother and don both agreed that they didn't want to interupt thier school year.
so here is where i get nervous about what is going to happen at the end of the school year.
the way the order was written says that my husbands has sole custody until the end of the school year. and it will revert to joint custody at that time.
so what does that mean? since he has full custody now, will he keep primary custody? he wants to make it the way it has been. where they live with us during the week and visit her on weekends. i guess he is going to have to go back into court in the summer.
he is just nervous because when he has done so in the past he was bascily ignored. i have to say i really feel that he is getting shafted because he is a man. but, i'm hoping now we have more evidence of why we want them living with us. their mother and her boyfriend have both been convicted of abuse for him and neglect for her. which i'm hoping will be in our favor. plus they have been living her for almost a year. and it was only since january they were able to go visit her.
i know i'm long winded. but i'm just so scared. i don't want her getting these kids back. they are doing so well, they are happy and healthy. the only thing she has going for her is she is in a better school distric. but they are in first grade. and thier main complaint about our school system is it is mostly black.
hello, my question pertains to my step-sons. i'll try to be brief on the back story. the boys are 6, twins. my husband and their mother were never married and broke up about 5 and a half years ago. shortly after he and i got together and she got together with her boyfriend. we were less then thrilled when he started living with her and the kids. he has anger problems and we just didn't trust him. nothing we could really do thouhg. flash foward a few years to when they're 3 & 4. let me go back and clarify at that time they had joint custody with her having phsyical custody. when they would come over they would tell us stephen (the boyfriend) hits them when they're bad. don (my husband) had serveral conversations with his ex and the boyfriend saying he is not to be hitting his kids. then one time he hit the one child with a spoon so hard it bruised, i think he was about four. dyfs had been called in a few times, but it was always unfounded because we never had proof. it got to the point where they would cry bloody murder when we had to take them home and stephen was going to be there. they would have nightmares, wet the bed. we tried so many times to talk to her and him about our concerns adn nothing was done. my husband went and tried to file for custody and was denied.
well, unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, there was FINALLY proof. one night he threw kyle against the wall and left a huge bruise on his back. thank god the school saw it asked him what happened and he told them. so they called the case worker. the mother and boyfriend were trying to say that he was wrestling with his brother and fell and all that.
they went into court and left the kids in the home, but filed a "safety plan". i forgot to mention their mother and boyfriend have a daughter together, she was 2 and a half when this happened. the safety plan said that he was not allowed to be alone with any of the children, including his own daughter, unsupervised.
all was going well, so we thought until one day in august. we got a call that don had to come to their house quick coz the social worker was there and he was alone with the kids. aparently this was the second time. the worker had been out a few weeks prior and he was alone with them. adn she told them if it happens again she's leaving with the kids. so that day she did. luckily the boys came to us that night. their sister was originally placed with her grandmother, but had to be removed because the house was unsuitable. so she ended up in foster care for the weekend. we couldn't be foster parents because we only have one extra bedroom and she would need her own since she is a girl.
thankfully when we went into court that monday the judge overulled it and let us have emily. we wern't able to be foster parents so they placed custody with us. so thank god she was with people she knew and her brothers. so all the kids were with us and the mother, boyfriend, or thier grandmother were not allowed to be around them unsupervised for a long time. when we went back into court in january she got emily back. it kind of seemed like they were just going to give the boys back. the kids lawyers brought up that don was looking to get custody of his boys. and the mother and don both agreed that they didn't want to interupt thier school year.
so here is where i get nervous about what is going to happen at the end of the school year.
the way the order was written says that my husbands has sole custody until the end of the school year. and it will revert to joint custody at that time.
so what does that mean? since he has full custody now, will he keep primary custody? he wants to make it the way it has been. where they live with us during the week and visit her on weekends. i guess he is going to have to go back into court in the summer.
he is just nervous because when he has done so in the past he was bascily ignored. i have to say i really feel that he is getting shafted because he is a man. but, i'm hoping now we have more evidence of why we want them living with us. their mother and her boyfriend have both been convicted of abuse for him and neglect for her. which i'm hoping will be in our favor. plus they have been living her for almost a year. and it was only since january they were able to go visit her.
i know i'm long winded. but i'm just so scared. i don't want her getting these kids back. they are doing so well, they are happy and healthy. the only thing she has going for her is she is in a better school distric. but they are in first grade. and thier main complaint about our school system is it is mostly black.
