What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Oklahoma
1. My mother has one sister who at one time shared a duplex with my grandmother (owner) and my mom and her husband lived on the opposite side. Over the course of more than a decade, my aunt (POA) handled my grandma's finances and claimed she was managing it and taking care of everything as grandma wanted it. Grandma was never senile---just very trusting and was never shown a bill or statement and assumed her daughter was on the up and up.
2. Always suspicious, I was not surprised when it was learned that this was far from the truth and in 01/00, while the aunt was out of town,Grandma got an IRS letter stating her taxes had not been filed for 3 years. At my grandmothers request, my mother and I turned the house she shared with my aunt upside down and acquired lots of evidence in the way of receipts, hidden merchandise (enough to fill a storage unit), handwritten notes and cancelled checks, numerous letters from the IRS, 20+ fraudulently acquired credit cards, and the debt to go with them,stock and land sales--I have it all in boxes in my garage now. Basically my aunt spent my grandmother's entire life's savings---$250K in assets so when she did die, there was nothing left for my mother to inherit except a duplex with a mortgage, unpaid taxes and a few stocks----my grandmother kicked her out and she has maintained she was unjustly accused and treated with cruelty. She has spent every waking moment since trying to turn every other family member against my mother and I ---whoever will give her the time of day. What is so sad is that my grandmother was afraid to spend a dime because she was under the impression that there was barely enough to live on so she shopped at places like the salvation army thrift store at the same time my aunt was racking up thousands of dollars of credit card debt at the finest department stores ---every day of the week instead of working a full day at her job. We have the receipts to prove it.
3. She was so intimidating after my grandma told her to move out, that as a nurse, I recognized my grandmother's blood pressure was at a dangerous level and because her daughter was fighting tooth and nail against leaving, I had to get more medication from the doctor to treat her hypertension because we were afraid she would have a stroke. I felt it was finally time to file a complaint with the elder abuse hotline and for this, my family has never really forgiven me and except for my mother, they think this was done for revenge. I wish I had done it years ago. I have felt a heavy burden because it was such a no-win situation and it has split the family down the middle and neither my cousins, my brother will speak to me because they believe the lies my aunt (a mental health counselor!!!!) has told them.
4. The abusive aunt moved out of state to live closer to one of her grown children and accused me of ruining her chances of getting a job due to the phone call I made to elder abuse hotline because she is a mental health counselor and a background check turned up this red flag----she would be very happy to see me gone and I would fear for my safety if ever left alone with her---she blames me for all her misery. I have never contacted her since.
5. In 2001 my grandmother died and left the duplex to my mom and me and this really pissed off the family that my aunt had told lies to and convinced that it was my mother and myself, not her who financially abused my grandmother.There has been pressure on me by my brother and cousins who have cut me out of all family news and activities and communication until or unless I give this duplex side I inherited to my aunt.I will never do this and they know it. My mother has been hospitalized twice since then and the last time needed shock therapy as she was in danger of not recovering and all other methods had failed. She is functioning at a normal level and usually in a very happy frame of mind but her sister, even knowing this, continues to send an unrelenting barrage of abusive letters. In spite of my mother allowing her sister to take 3 trucks full of possessions that she asked for after she was kicked out, she wants more----she feel she has a right to get more even though she was cut out of the will and knows why. No matter what my mother sends her---she wants more--photos, keepsakes---she wants everything that my mother has and there was very little left for my mom in the first place once her sister spent it all.
6. My mother's mental health is being jeopardized by her sister and I feel I am going to have to step in because my mother is not strong enough mentally to handle it and I don't know if she can recover from another setback and hospitalization--- the last 2 were so serious she almost died from anorexia.My mothers husband is apathetic and cannot be trusted to do anything as he also tried to take control of my own mothers assets while she was hospitalized until I put a stop to it and got them back in her name.
7. I have 2 huge boxes of evidence which proves everything my aunt did and had my grandmother decided to press charges, she no doubt would be found guilty. If for no other reason that for forging my grandmother's name on over 2 dozen credit card applications. Last week we received a new credit card in my granmother's name which gave her a $9000 credit limit that we think may have been applied for fraudulently. My mother thinks she threw it away so I am waiting for her to find it so I can check this out.
8. I want my aunt to stop harrassing my mother however my mother is not mentally strong enough to stand her ground and I need some guidelines as to what my options are. I have been named as my mother's medical POA on her advance directive--not sure what the correct term is, but I have her permission to make medical decisions for her should she become incapacitated again. I want to send a strong message to this aunt to back off and stop harrassing my mother or I will turn all this evidence of her fraudulent activities regarding credit to the OKC D.A. However, if we are past the statute of limitations, what recourse is there to make make this woman stop? She lives in another state and my mother will refuse to get a restraining order because she is naive enough to think her sister will eventually stop this if she tells her to enough times. Nothing has worked and it's going on 7 years and she won't stop tormenting my mother, trying to make her give her more stuff that was my grandmothers, putting guilt on her, demanding more apologies, just basically making life miserable. Is it too late to file charges on behalf my grandmothers estate? I feel just making the threat would be enough but this woman will just laugh at us and continue the harrassment if there is no reason for her to worry about being in legal trouble for what she's done now that time has passed and grandma is dead and buried. Part of the reason my grandmother left this duplex to me is because she knew I would never let my mother be bullied into giving it up and she knew I would take care of my mom, and I have and will continue to as long as she needs me.
I am sorry for the length of this but these things are never simple and the longer it goes on, the more twisted it becomes. Thankyou in advance for any advice you can give regarding this situation.
1. My mother has one sister who at one time shared a duplex with my grandmother (owner) and my mom and her husband lived on the opposite side. Over the course of more than a decade, my aunt (POA) handled my grandma's finances and claimed she was managing it and taking care of everything as grandma wanted it. Grandma was never senile---just very trusting and was never shown a bill or statement and assumed her daughter was on the up and up.
2. Always suspicious, I was not surprised when it was learned that this was far from the truth and in 01/00, while the aunt was out of town,Grandma got an IRS letter stating her taxes had not been filed for 3 years. At my grandmothers request, my mother and I turned the house she shared with my aunt upside down and acquired lots of evidence in the way of receipts, hidden merchandise (enough to fill a storage unit), handwritten notes and cancelled checks, numerous letters from the IRS, 20+ fraudulently acquired credit cards, and the debt to go with them,stock and land sales--I have it all in boxes in my garage now. Basically my aunt spent my grandmother's entire life's savings---$250K in assets so when she did die, there was nothing left for my mother to inherit except a duplex with a mortgage, unpaid taxes and a few stocks----my grandmother kicked her out and she has maintained she was unjustly accused and treated with cruelty. She has spent every waking moment since trying to turn every other family member against my mother and I ---whoever will give her the time of day. What is so sad is that my grandmother was afraid to spend a dime because she was under the impression that there was barely enough to live on so she shopped at places like the salvation army thrift store at the same time my aunt was racking up thousands of dollars of credit card debt at the finest department stores ---every day of the week instead of working a full day at her job. We have the receipts to prove it.
3. She was so intimidating after my grandma told her to move out, that as a nurse, I recognized my grandmother's blood pressure was at a dangerous level and because her daughter was fighting tooth and nail against leaving, I had to get more medication from the doctor to treat her hypertension because we were afraid she would have a stroke. I felt it was finally time to file a complaint with the elder abuse hotline and for this, my family has never really forgiven me and except for my mother, they think this was done for revenge. I wish I had done it years ago. I have felt a heavy burden because it was such a no-win situation and it has split the family down the middle and neither my cousins, my brother will speak to me because they believe the lies my aunt (a mental health counselor!!!!) has told them.
4. The abusive aunt moved out of state to live closer to one of her grown children and accused me of ruining her chances of getting a job due to the phone call I made to elder abuse hotline because she is a mental health counselor and a background check turned up this red flag----she would be very happy to see me gone and I would fear for my safety if ever left alone with her---she blames me for all her misery. I have never contacted her since.
5. In 2001 my grandmother died and left the duplex to my mom and me and this really pissed off the family that my aunt had told lies to and convinced that it was my mother and myself, not her who financially abused my grandmother.There has been pressure on me by my brother and cousins who have cut me out of all family news and activities and communication until or unless I give this duplex side I inherited to my aunt.I will never do this and they know it. My mother has been hospitalized twice since then and the last time needed shock therapy as she was in danger of not recovering and all other methods had failed. She is functioning at a normal level and usually in a very happy frame of mind but her sister, even knowing this, continues to send an unrelenting barrage of abusive letters. In spite of my mother allowing her sister to take 3 trucks full of possessions that she asked for after she was kicked out, she wants more----she feel she has a right to get more even though she was cut out of the will and knows why. No matter what my mother sends her---she wants more--photos, keepsakes---she wants everything that my mother has and there was very little left for my mom in the first place once her sister spent it all.
6. My mother's mental health is being jeopardized by her sister and I feel I am going to have to step in because my mother is not strong enough mentally to handle it and I don't know if she can recover from another setback and hospitalization--- the last 2 were so serious she almost died from anorexia.My mothers husband is apathetic and cannot be trusted to do anything as he also tried to take control of my own mothers assets while she was hospitalized until I put a stop to it and got them back in her name.
7. I have 2 huge boxes of evidence which proves everything my aunt did and had my grandmother decided to press charges, she no doubt would be found guilty. If for no other reason that for forging my grandmother's name on over 2 dozen credit card applications. Last week we received a new credit card in my granmother's name which gave her a $9000 credit limit that we think may have been applied for fraudulently. My mother thinks she threw it away so I am waiting for her to find it so I can check this out.
8. I want my aunt to stop harrassing my mother however my mother is not mentally strong enough to stand her ground and I need some guidelines as to what my options are. I have been named as my mother's medical POA on her advance directive--not sure what the correct term is, but I have her permission to make medical decisions for her should she become incapacitated again. I want to send a strong message to this aunt to back off and stop harrassing my mother or I will turn all this evidence of her fraudulent activities regarding credit to the OKC D.A. However, if we are past the statute of limitations, what recourse is there to make make this woman stop? She lives in another state and my mother will refuse to get a restraining order because she is naive enough to think her sister will eventually stop this if she tells her to enough times. Nothing has worked and it's going on 7 years and she won't stop tormenting my mother, trying to make her give her more stuff that was my grandmothers, putting guilt on her, demanding more apologies, just basically making life miserable. Is it too late to file charges on behalf my grandmothers estate? I feel just making the threat would be enough but this woman will just laugh at us and continue the harrassment if there is no reason for her to worry about being in legal trouble for what she's done now that time has passed and grandma is dead and buried. Part of the reason my grandmother left this duplex to me is because she knew I would never let my mother be bullied into giving it up and she knew I would take care of my mom, and I have and will continue to as long as she needs me.
I am sorry for the length of this but these things are never simple and the longer it goes on, the more twisted it becomes. Thankyou in advance for any advice you can give regarding this situation.