What is the name of your state? Montana
I am the only female in the service department of an automobile dealership. My supervisor and those above him are all males, with the exception of the controller. There are approximately 4 females working in the sales department, no females in the parts department and all of the administrative personel are female. A little more than 1 year ago, my dealership bought out another one and some of their employees came to work for us. One of these employees had been my friend since I was in high school, though he about 10 years older than I am. Shortly after he came to work for us, he was promoted to assistant parts manager. The dealership is seperated into 2 buildings. I run the service department in one and report back to my supervisor, who is located in the other. My friend runs the parts department in the same building as me and reports back to his supervisor who is in the other building. My friend and I have continued our friendship outside of work since he came to work for my company - my company has no policy against this. About 6 months ago, my friend began having marriatl problems and he started divorce proceedings between him and his wife. Roughly about this same time, I began having problems with my marriage also. We relied heavily on one another for support. My friend and I went out to a bar with a group of co workers from both of the buildings around this same time. Nothing of importance happened and no inappropriate behavior occurred. Everyone besides myself was very intoxicated. The following weekday I was confronted by my supervisor for my behavior at this gathering. He told me that the controller said my friend and I were "hanging all over each other." I denied this and so did my friend, and I was very defensive. At this same time, my husband was also employed with my company. He heard the rumor that was going around and it got very touch and go between as he believed the rumors and not me. This rumor and others were circulated until people outside my work actually stopped me and my friend on the street and confronted us about the "affair" we were having. My supervisor confronted both me and my friend about these rumors several more times, once including all of our co workers in the service department, and never once did he ask if the accusations were true - he spoke to us as though we were guilty until proven innocent. Finally, things quieted down some although my friend got a divorce and my marriage was still on the rocks due to the rumors. About a month ago, a letter was sent to the owner of the dealership where I work. It was not signed and was typed out - the writer want to stay anonymous. The letter said that my friend and I were seen engaged in inappropriate touching and that I was the reason my friend had to get a divorce. It also stated that the author knew my friend and I were continuing to have an "affair" even though I was still married. The author said they were offended and implied that they were a customer of mine. Everything in the letter was a personal attack on me and none of it was true. My supervisor confronted me with the letter and asked me what I thought about it. I said I thought it was a personal attack on me and that it wasn't true. I asked to get a copy of it and he agreed. He said he couldn't take any action against me or my friend for our behavior because the letter was anonymous, but that we had to change the perception that our co workers had about us - that we were "messing around" and it had to stop, whether or not it was going on outside work, at work, or at all. My friend and I are not allowed to go to lunch together and have been reprimanded for talking to one another face to face. No written reprimands have ever been delivered, just verbal ones. And neither my friend nor I ever got a copy of that letter. Last week, my husband came home from work after I had already been there for lunch. It had just snowed and there were more than just my footprints in the fresh snow. He called me at work and accused me of having someone at our house with me at lunch - he said he suspected it was my friend and that he was going to come down to work and "put him in a coma." He called so many times that I got scared and called the police. An officer came down and filed a harassment report with me - he also spoke with my friend. It was very quiet and not a big deal, I just did not want a scene at my work. I didn't file charges against my husband, because he believed me after we talked it out. Tonight, my supervisor called me and my friend into a private meeting and said that the owner of the dealership had heard about the police coming down and that my co workers were afraid my husband would come down here in a rage and kill someone (practically his exact words). He told us that he had limited options: he could fire us both, or transfer one or the other of us to the other store. He said we are both excellent employees and that the business would suffer or cease at our location without us. He said he did not want either of us to resign. Again, he spoke of the rumors and talked to us as though we are guilty. He said if our co workers don't stop talking about us, he would select one or more of his "options." He accused us of standing too close to one another (he said 6" is too close) and said that he had never witnessed inappropriate behavior himself and neither has the owner, but others had - he wouldn't say who or what. I feel like this has gotten very personal without any reason! Do I have any recourse? I don't care what my co workers think and my supervisor agrees that I am a great employee, that there is no real witness to any true inappropriate behavior, that this isn't affecting my ability to do my job, and he couldn't afford to lose me. Why is he being so accusatory? What grounds does he have to treat me this way? I feel like I am the target and there is no eveidence to support this. What can I do?
I am the only female in the service department of an automobile dealership. My supervisor and those above him are all males, with the exception of the controller. There are approximately 4 females working in the sales department, no females in the parts department and all of the administrative personel are female. A little more than 1 year ago, my dealership bought out another one and some of their employees came to work for us. One of these employees had been my friend since I was in high school, though he about 10 years older than I am. Shortly after he came to work for us, he was promoted to assistant parts manager. The dealership is seperated into 2 buildings. I run the service department in one and report back to my supervisor, who is located in the other. My friend runs the parts department in the same building as me and reports back to his supervisor who is in the other building. My friend and I have continued our friendship outside of work since he came to work for my company - my company has no policy against this. About 6 months ago, my friend began having marriatl problems and he started divorce proceedings between him and his wife. Roughly about this same time, I began having problems with my marriage also. We relied heavily on one another for support. My friend and I went out to a bar with a group of co workers from both of the buildings around this same time. Nothing of importance happened and no inappropriate behavior occurred. Everyone besides myself was very intoxicated. The following weekday I was confronted by my supervisor for my behavior at this gathering. He told me that the controller said my friend and I were "hanging all over each other." I denied this and so did my friend, and I was very defensive. At this same time, my husband was also employed with my company. He heard the rumor that was going around and it got very touch and go between as he believed the rumors and not me. This rumor and others were circulated until people outside my work actually stopped me and my friend on the street and confronted us about the "affair" we were having. My supervisor confronted both me and my friend about these rumors several more times, once including all of our co workers in the service department, and never once did he ask if the accusations were true - he spoke to us as though we were guilty until proven innocent. Finally, things quieted down some although my friend got a divorce and my marriage was still on the rocks due to the rumors. About a month ago, a letter was sent to the owner of the dealership where I work. It was not signed and was typed out - the writer want to stay anonymous. The letter said that my friend and I were seen engaged in inappropriate touching and that I was the reason my friend had to get a divorce. It also stated that the author knew my friend and I were continuing to have an "affair" even though I was still married. The author said they were offended and implied that they were a customer of mine. Everything in the letter was a personal attack on me and none of it was true. My supervisor confronted me with the letter and asked me what I thought about it. I said I thought it was a personal attack on me and that it wasn't true. I asked to get a copy of it and he agreed. He said he couldn't take any action against me or my friend for our behavior because the letter was anonymous, but that we had to change the perception that our co workers had about us - that we were "messing around" and it had to stop, whether or not it was going on outside work, at work, or at all. My friend and I are not allowed to go to lunch together and have been reprimanded for talking to one another face to face. No written reprimands have ever been delivered, just verbal ones. And neither my friend nor I ever got a copy of that letter. Last week, my husband came home from work after I had already been there for lunch. It had just snowed and there were more than just my footprints in the fresh snow. He called me at work and accused me of having someone at our house with me at lunch - he said he suspected it was my friend and that he was going to come down to work and "put him in a coma." He called so many times that I got scared and called the police. An officer came down and filed a harassment report with me - he also spoke with my friend. It was very quiet and not a big deal, I just did not want a scene at my work. I didn't file charges against my husband, because he believed me after we talked it out. Tonight, my supervisor called me and my friend into a private meeting and said that the owner of the dealership had heard about the police coming down and that my co workers were afraid my husband would come down here in a rage and kill someone (practically his exact words). He told us that he had limited options: he could fire us both, or transfer one or the other of us to the other store. He said we are both excellent employees and that the business would suffer or cease at our location without us. He said he did not want either of us to resign. Again, he spoke of the rumors and talked to us as though we are guilty. He said if our co workers don't stop talking about us, he would select one or more of his "options." He accused us of standing too close to one another (he said 6" is too close) and said that he had never witnessed inappropriate behavior himself and neither has the owner, but others had - he wouldn't say who or what. I feel like this has gotten very personal without any reason! Do I have any recourse? I don't care what my co workers think and my supervisor agrees that I am a great employee, that there is no real witness to any true inappropriate behavior, that this isn't affecting my ability to do my job, and he couldn't afford to lose me. Why is he being so accusatory? What grounds does he have to treat me this way? I feel like I am the target and there is no eveidence to support this. What can I do?