Help with self dealing POA taking my childrens inheritance

[natalieb]

Connecticut-
I am seeking assistance regarding possible elder abuse. I was given your website to aide in my situation. My ex-husband died last december. We were divorced in 1984 and the courts in CT awarded child support as well as an irrevocable clause for his life insurance in the amount of 150,000 for myself and my children. I never filed for child support initially out of fear of his repurcussions as the divorce stemmed from domestic violence, then, because after 8 years he began to get help and we worked on co-parenting. He also always promised to pay for the childrens college and that in the event of his death I would receive his pension. Unfortuately, in 2001 he was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease. He was living with a woman at the time and had difficulty paying for our daughters college as well as sending in necessary forms for her grants and loans. To keep from putting any more financial pressure on me she joined the military.

To bring us to the present, the woman he was living with married him in 2003, out of state, and proceeded to gain power of attorney and set about to sell his home and put everything in her name. I live nearby and have been at her beck and call to help in his care as he needed round the clock supervision as he was totally unable to communicate due to the advanced dementia and amnesia.
It has only been since his death that I found out she changed the beneficiary on the life insurance (it is a Federal Life ins. that he had as he was a government retiree) she also named her self as beneficiary of his pension. She has considerable money and is able to have a very expensive lawyer.

I have gone to probate and was named feduciary as the judge could see the wrongdoing and gave me the authority to get all medical and beneficary changes. The alzheimers was formally diagnosed in 2001. Even at that time he didnt want to marry her and also assured me that all the documents with the federal government could not be changed as they emphatically state that NO POA can do it as well as the fact that he was mentally impaired and it clearly states in the life insurance policy that this can not be changed if this is true. SHe elicited an attorney to complete the beneficiary changes in 2004 with him shuffling in and signing the beneficiary change....is this legal if she had POA for over a year due to his Alzheimers.

It was only yesterday that a friend mentioned that this sounded like elder abuse as he was 75 years old. I am limited in finances and am seeking whatever advice or help you may be able to give me.

The probate judge suggested that after I get these documents that I should go to superior court and sue her for the money. I feel this is a horrible situation because I believed him and never filed for child support my children have been robbed of everything even though I have that original court order for the life insurance. She has such powerful lawyers that I fear that if I go to superior court she will win. Perhaps alot of this stems from my history of abuse and inability to stand up for myself but it seems to be such a grevious wrongdoing that I appeal to y ou for help in finding the correct direction.

He has older daughters who want to help in this matter. They want to anull the marriage but he was married in Texas even though he was a resident of connecticut and there is no law in Texas against marrying someone who is demented. At the civil service when asked for his vows he stated "isnt this a nice birthday party" and I have doccumentation to that effect. I also have mountains of medical documents stating the severity of his alzheimers and total inability to take care of himself at all starting in 2001.

So so sorry to be soooo long but thanks for letting me put this into your knowledgable forum.
Helpless in CTWhat is the name of your state?

 

[BlondiePB]

Connecticut-
I am seeking assistance regarding possible elder abuse. I was given your website to aide in my situation. My ex-husband died last december. We were divorced in 1984 and the courts in CT awarded child support as well as an irrevocable clause for his life insurance in the amount of 150,000 for myself and my children. I never filed for child support initially out of fear of his repurcussions as the divorce stemmed from domestic violence, then, because after 8 years he began to get help and we worked on co-parenting. He also always promised to pay for the childrens college and that in the event of his death I would receive his pension. Unfortuately, in 2001 he was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease. He was living with a woman at the time and had difficulty paying for our daughters college as well as sending in necessary forms for her grants and loans. To keep from putting any more financial pressure on me she joined the military.

To bring us to the present, the woman he was living with married him in 2003, out of state, and proceeded to gain power of attorney and set about to sell his home and put everything in her name. I live nearby and have been at her beck and call to help in his care as he needed round the clock supervision as he was totally unable to communicate due to the advanced dementia and amnesia.
It has only been since his death that I found out she changed the beneficiary on the life insurance (it is a Federal Life ins. that he had as he was a government retiree) she also named her self as beneficiary of his pension. She has considerable money and is able to have a very expensive lawyer.

I have gone to probate and was named feduciary as the judge could see the wrongdoing and gave me the authority to get all medical and beneficary changes. The alzheimers was formally diagnosed in 2001. Even at that time he didnt want to marry her and also assured me that all the documents with the federal government could not be changed as they emphatically state that NO POA can do it as well as the fact that he was mentally impaired and it clearly states in the life insurance policy that this can not be changed if this is true. SHe elicited an attorney to complete the beneficiary changes in 2004 with him shuffling in and signing the beneficiary change....is this legal if she had POA for over a year due to his Alzheimers.

It was only yesterday that a friend mentioned that this sounded like elder abuse as he was 75 years old. I am limited in finances and am seeking whatever advice or help you may be able to give me.

The probate judge suggested that after I get these documents that I should go to superior court and sue her for the money. I feel this is a horrible situation because I believed him and never filed for child support my children have been robbed of everything even though I have that original court order for the life insurance. She has such powerful lawyers that I fear that if I go to superior court she will win. Perhaps alot of this stems from my history of abuse and inability to stand up for myself but it seems to be such a grevious wrongdoing that I appeal to y ou for help in finding the correct direction.

He has older daughters who want to help in this matter. They want to anull the marriage but he was married in Texas even though he was a resident of connecticut and there is no law in Texas against marrying someone who is demented. At the civil service when asked for his vows he stated "isnt this a nice birthday party" and I have doccumentation to that effect. I also have mountains of medical documents stating the severity of his alzheimers and total inability to take care of himself at all starting in 2001.

So so sorry to be soooo long but thanks for letting me put this into your knowledgable forum.
Helpless in CTWhat is the name of your state?

This cannot be resolved on the internet. You need to hire an attorney. Ask the daughters who are willing to help assist you with retaining an attorney.

 

[Dandy Don]

What state did he die in?

Did he leave a last will and testament?

What is the value of his estate?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

This is undue influence and intentional fraud. If she joined the military there may be other charges as well, you definately need an attorney.


HOWEVER the texas marriage could have been annulled because it is a nullable marriage!
§ 6.107. FRAUD, DURESS, OR FORCE. The court may grant an
annulment of a marriage to a party to the marriage if:
(1) the other party used fraud, duress, or force to
induce the petitioner to enter into the marriage; and
(2) the petitioner has not voluntarily cohabited with
the other party since learning of the fraud or since being released
from the duress or force.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, § 1, eff. April 17, 1997.


§ 6.108. MENTAL INCAPACITY. (a) The court may grant an
annulment of a marriage to a party to the marriage on the suit of the
party or the party's guardian or next friend, if the court finds it
to be in the party's best interest to be represented by a guardian
or next friend, if:
(1) at the time of the marriage the petitioner did not
have the mental capacity to consent to marriage or to understand the
nature of the marriage ceremony because of a mental disease or
defect; and
(2) since the marriage ceremony, the petitioner has
not voluntarily cohabited with the other party during a period when
the petitioner possessed the mental capacity to recognize the
marriage relationship.
(b) The court may grant an annulment of a marriage to a party
to the marriage if:
(1) at the time of the marriage the other party did not
have the mental capacity to consent to marriage or to understand the
nature of the marriage ceremony because of a mental disease or
defect;
(2) at the time of the marriage the petitioner neither
knew nor reasonably should have known of the mental disease or
defect; and
(3) since the date the petitioner discovered or
reasonably should have discovered the mental disease or defect, the
petitioner has not voluntarily cohabited with the other party.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, § 1, eff. April 17, 1997.

 

[Indiana Filer]

This is undue influence and intentional fraud. If she joined the military there may be other charges as well,

Wasn't it the daughter of the OP and the alzheimer-afflicted ex who joined the military?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Wasn't it the daughter of the OP and the alzheimer-afflicted ex who joined the military?

I wasn't sure since it wasn't explicit so i included it as per the "wife". Unfortunately these cases are more difficult once the incompetent person is dead. I wonder who told her that the TX marriage wasn't voidable?

 

[natalieb]

Thank you Dandy Don

Died in Connectictut
No will and testament (possibly destroyed by her as he was meticulous in keeping records and how there are none)
Value of estate- undetermined- She transfered all property via POA prior to his death(house worth 300,000 sold with at least 250,000 equity). Life insurance 80,000. as above by changing beneiciary to herself.

What state did he die in?

Did he leave a last will and testament?

What is the value of his estate?

 

[natalieb]

annulment of marriage

I can not thank you enough for this wonderful expertise.....
I am thinking that if we can get the marriage annuled then everything that occured after that event might be questionable. She obtained POA after that and then set about putting everything he owned in her name. We thought she was doing this in the event he needed a nursing home not for the purpose of totally taking everything from his family.

My daughter joined the military so she could get her education and not put any more financial pressure on me as she knew her father was not able to help anymore. I regret not filing for child support while they were under 18 but I believed he was going to make up for this. Unfortunately my children have had to pay for my fear and stupidity.

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my missive....

This is undue influence and intentional fraud. If she joined the military there may be other charges as well, you definately need an attorney.


HOWEVER the texas marriage could have been annulled because it is a nullable marriage!
§ 6.107. FRAUD, DURESS, OR FORCE. The court may grant an
annulment of a marriage to a party to the marriage if:
(1) the other party used fraud, duress, or force to
induce the petitioner to enter into the marriage; and
(2) the petitioner has not voluntarily cohabited with
the other party since learning of the fraud or since being released
from the duress or force.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, § 1, eff. April 17, 1997.


§ 6.108. MENTAL INCAPACITY. (a) The court may grant an
annulment of a marriage to a party to the marriage on the suit of the
party or the party's guardian or next friend, if the court finds it
to be in the party's best interest to be represented by a guardian
or next friend, if:
(1) at the time of the marriage the petitioner did not
have the mental capacity to consent to marriage or to understand the
nature of the marriage ceremony because of a mental disease or
defect; and
(2) since the marriage ceremony, the petitioner has
not voluntarily cohabited with the other party during a period when
the petitioner possessed the mental capacity to recognize the
marriage relationship.
(b) The court may grant an annulment of a marriage to a party
to the marriage if:
(1) at the time of the marriage the other party did not
have the mental capacity to consent to marriage or to understand the
nature of the marriage ceremony because of a mental disease or
defect;
(2) at the time of the marriage the petitioner neither
knew nor reasonably should have known of the mental disease or
defect; and
(3) since the date the petitioner discovered or
reasonably should have discovered the mental disease or defect, the
petitioner has not voluntarily cohabited with the other party.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, § 1, eff. April 17, 1997.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You really need an attorney to assist you with this, also if you were awarded child support and never enforced the order the statute of limitaitons may or not have passed but there may be some way to toll it, then you would have that claim from the estate. Since she has liquidated the estate has she spent it or reinvested it in another home? I ask because what has happened with the money will determine how easy it is to collect should you get a judgement. Have you attempted to collect the life insurance and pointed out that there was a court order for the insurance and that the wife had the POA issued after your ex was incompetent? That there was fraud? BTW, spending down to avoid the state taking the home for their health coverage is also fraud.

 

[natalieb]

Life insurance

I have written and spoken to the FEGLI dept of his life insurance. They only can go by the change of beneficiary form and it looked fine.
I know that he was extemely compromised at the time she did this. She had POA for a year at that point but somehow they did not know this.
I am trying to get copies of these change of beneficiary forms as well as the POA but even though I have been appointed feduciary from the Probate court her atty is stonewalling any of my requests.

BTW- thank you thank you thank you

 

[BlondiePB]

I have written and spoken to the FEGLI dept of his life insurance. They only can go by the change of beneficiary form and it looked fine.
I know that he was extemely compromised at the time she did this. She had POA for a year at that point but somehow they did not know this.
I am trying to get copies of these change of beneficiary forms as well as the POA but even though I have been appointed feduciary from the Probate court her atty is stonewalling any of my requests.

BTW- thank you thank you thank you

The value of this estate is irrelevant to your problem. You, as administrator, are entitled to records of the deceased. Obtain some initial free consultations from probate attorneys. Again, this cannot be resolved without an attorney. If you are 65 or disabled, call legal aid. You may be to obtain an attorney pro bono for this civil case if you qualify.

 

[natalieb]

Thank you Dandy Don

I am 58....working....make too much money for legal aid but not enough to do anything.
Thank you for your advice as his older daughters want to assist in correcting this and we can all pitch in for the next step. It is upsetting to me that we have to pay for her wrongdoing and she has more than enough money to pay for one of the most expensive lawyers around.

This has been the most enlightening stroke of luck...that is to say ... to find this unbelievable Forum...you have all been nothing but wonderful and restored my faith in the legal system.

 

[BlondiePB]

I am 58....working....make too much money for legal aid but not enough to do anything.
Thank you for your advice as his older daughters want to assist in correcting this and we can all pitch in for the next step. It is upsetting to me that we have to pay for her wrongdoing and she has more than enough money to pay for one of the most expensive lawyers around.

This has been the most enlightening stroke of luck...that is to say ... to find this unbelievable Forum...you have all been nothing but wonderful and restored my faith in the legal system.

You're very welcome. BTW, I'm not Dandy Don.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks and keep us updated, Blondie, definately is not Don!

 

[natalieb]

Dear BlondiePB

I know...and it was too late when I realized the wrong name was there...unfortunately I am as adeot at working this email forum as at handling my problem...my sincere thanks to you again...