here we go again...

[ezmarelda]

What is the name of your state? California

I just noticed I posted this under CS not custody/visatation...I am a dork!

A bit of back story https://forum.freeadvice.com/showth...n till Mon...I'll check up on this then**[/B]

 

[Ohiogal]

YOu can try to pursue it but can you meet the requirements for abandonment and adoption? Sorry eme but i cannot remember off the top of my head.

 

[mom6399]

Eme...

Similar situation...when sleeping dogs wake they can bite and bite hard...consider a suspension/termination of visitation while you explore TPR. I let things go for a long time and then SNAP a great big bite. My lesson, it is better to be proactive than to be reactive

You owe the extended family nothing.

Best of luck to you and I hope all works in your daughters best interest.

 

[BL]

You should consider sending the letters a gifts back , if they are not sent by the Parent .

It sounds like a tactic for the X to see the child via 3rd party .

 

[ezmarelda]

YOu can try to pursue it but can you meet the requirements for abandonment and adoption? Sorry eme but i cannot remember off the top of my head.

Yep we meet the requirements for abandonment and silly 'ol Cali is one of those states that adoption is not necesary.

 

[ezmarelda]

You should consider sending the letters a gifts back , if they are not sent by the Parent .

It sounds like a tactic for the X to see the child via 3rd party .

I thought about returning them then I decided I didn't want daughter to resent me at some point later for it. I figure this way at some point later she can read them if she wants to.

I agree about it all being a tactic to see DuffX...sometimes I can't believe they think I am stupid enough to fall for it

 

[SingleMom67]

I thought about returning them then I decided I didn't want daughter to resent me at some point later for it. I figure this way at some point later she can read them if she wants to.

I agree about it all being a tactic to see DuffX...sometimes I can't believe they think I am stupid enough to fall for it

Why would you want to even expose her to that hurt 5, 10, 15 years down the line. Send everything back which will also send them a message. If they truly missed and cared about your daughter, they'd get the father to pay his support!!!

 

[CJane]

I thought about returning them then I decided I didn't want daughter to resent me at some point later for it. I figure this way at some point later she can read them if she wants to.

I agree about it all being a tactic to see DuffX...sometimes I can't believe they think I am stupid enough to fall for it

Well.... I'm a little bit odd when it comes to things like this, but if the family is THAT much of a negative influence - even if it's just POTENTIAL negative influence, I wouldn't want their stuff sitting around my house. Even if it's crammed in a closet.

I'd send it back... in fact, I'd contemplate getting a PO box so it doesn't even come to my house. If I didn't send it back, I'd shred the letters/cards and any gifts/toys/etc would be donated in daughter's name to TfT at Christmas time.

As for attempting a TPR... he's not likely to return, so it's probably doable. HOWEVER, isn't CA also one of those crazy states that allows for 3rd party visitation? Tread carefully.

I toy w/the idea of a 'someday' TPR against Asshat... but I know it'd be like poking a tiger with a stick. He might not want anything to do with his son, but I'm betting he doesn't want anyone ELSE being dad either.

 

[ezmarelda]

Well.... I'm a little bit odd when it comes to things like this, but if the family is THAT much of a negative influence - even if it's just POTENTIAL negative influence, I wouldn't want their stuff sitting around my house. Even if it's crammed in a closet.

I'd send it back... in fact, I'd contemplate getting a PO box so it doesn't even come to my house. If I didn't send it back, I'd shred the letters/cards and any gifts/toys/etc would be donated in daughter's name to TfT at Christmas time.

As for attempting a TPR... he's not likely to return, so it's probably doable. HOWEVER, isn't CA also one of those crazy states that allows for 3rd party visitation? Tread carefully.

I toy w/the idea of a 'someday' TPR against Asshat... but I know it'd be like poking a tiger with a stick. He might not want anything to do with his son, but I'm betting he doesn't want anyone ELSE being dad either.

I already have a PO box and I guess I would shred the stuff but Auntie usualy sends pics of Cousin 1 & 2 and stuff they made for Daughter (she needs a name...lets see, uummmm, oh I know Fancy...don't ask)

As for DuffX returning...not gunna happen And if he does he is going to jail anyway. And yep Ca alows for 3rd party visatation, however they would have to show that it would be detramental to Fancy for them not to have visatation. The up side is I can do a TPR w/o a step-parent adoption...good thing too b'cuz there is no step in the pic anymore...

 

[CJane]

I already have a PO box and I guess I would shred the stuff but Auntie usualy sends pics of Cousin 1 & 2 and stuff they made for Daughter (she needs a name...lets see, uummmm, oh I know Fancy...don't ask)

As for DuffX returning...not gunna happen And if he does he is going to jail anyway. And yep Ca alows for 3rd party visatation, however they would have to show that it would be detramental to Fancy for them not to have visatation. The up side is I can do a TPR w/o a step-parent adoption...good thing too b'cuz there is no step in the pic anymore...

Then go for it and then get ROs against his crazy-ass family.

 

[ezmarelda]

Then go for it and then get ROs against his crazy-ass family.

Thanks!
I just wish they werent that bad unfortunatly they really are skeery!...At least I have the "young & dumb" excuse for being involved w/DuffX in the first place. I'm not sure what my excuse is for the lying, cheeting (whores & men) freak I just got rid of...too trusting I guess

Of course now I have Mr. Perfect (I've known him a long time and always had thought "If only I could have that" but thought he was outta my legue. Guess that's what I get for thinkin')