What is the name of your state? IN
From reading posts, I know a lot of you get rather irritated when a stepparent referres to kids that are not biologically theirs as "Ours" and also use "We." I'm just itching to see some of the responses to this one. Here's the backstory:
I'm married to a woman who has four kids from a previous marriage. Her ex is custodial parent, and was re-married in July. Until the point of his marriage, things were pretty friendly, no complications. Of course, after he was remarried, things changed. He just took my wife back to court to attempt to get her visitation suspended, which he, of course, was unsuccessful in doing. Here's where it gets good...
At the hearing, he presented my wife with a three page typed letter to the judge by, you guessed it, his new wife. In it, she used your favorite terms "we" and "our" in regards to the kids well over 50 times, and what she (the stepmom) feels should be done. The fact of the matter is, almost none of the letter is true, which can be easily proven, and her knowledge of anything would be non-existant, due to the fact that she has only been here once and, on top of that, they refuse to give my wife a number at which she can reach her kids at. In the letter, she claimed that my wife "refuses to work," even though she has a fulltime job. She claims that "we have talked about" this, and "we have talked about" that, yadda, yadda. Her "facts" are sorely incorrect and again, can easily be proven so. Basically, it's a "let's get mom out of the picture" letter," while trying to appear that that isn't the intention. But, here's the kicker....
My wife has asked for school records, medical records, copies of birth certificates for the girls, etc, which she is fully entitled to. Her ex simply refused the information, not even telling her that he decided to move the kids to a new school. Finally, my wife simply got the contact information, went into the school personally and got the school records she wanted. There has still been no medical records mailed to her, though her ex and his new wife claim that the kids visit the doctors often, and they also try to push the blame on us. For examply, one of the girls has hypothyroidism, while another is bi-polar. They claim that the girls wouldn't have these problems if mom's visitation was taken away.
While looking over the school records, my wife learned why her ex didn't want her to have the information... The enrollment forms, filed with the school, was under an address that they do not live at. They live at least 20-25 minutes away from the school, which is well out of the school's district... Had they put their real address, which was verified in court, the kids would not be allowed to even attend the school. Also, and this is the clincher... Under the mother's name slot? You guessed it, the new stepmother... Her contact info, etc, etc... There is even a note on the enrollment forms stating that, in the event of an emergency, "Call Mom - works from home" obviously referring to the stepmother. They also claim that the children live "with both parents," when there is the option of "Lives with one parent." The birth mother, my wife, is not even listed as an emergency contact, or on the enrollment form in any manner whatsoever, for that matter. The enrollment forms were filled out by the stepmother and signed by the father. In other words, she wrote them, he signed them.
Now, back to that three page letter... The first thing listed in this letter is: "It is not my intention to replace her (my wife) as the girls' mother." If she's not trying to replace my wife as the mother, why is she putting her name on school documents as the mother of the kids?
Basically, my wife is planning on taking her ex back to court regarding matters that he has refused to do, blatantly violating the divorce decree (Not providing her with documentation from school, medical visits and refusing visitation is a small example). The main questions she has, and I figured I'd post it here: Is there anything she can do regarding the stepmother overstepping her bounds when she wrote the letter to the judge and falsifying the school records? Could the school records be potential proof that the stepmother is in fact attempting to shut the biomom out of the girls' lives? If so, what should be done? What's the maximum penalty that would be incurred on the stepmother for the interference? Could my wife file for change in custody based on it? She's just looking for the best route to go regarding the entire mess. Any help would be appreciated.
-Bill
From reading posts, I know a lot of you get rather irritated when a stepparent referres to kids that are not biologically theirs as "Ours" and also use "We." I'm just itching to see some of the responses to this one. Here's the backstory:
I'm married to a woman who has four kids from a previous marriage. Her ex is custodial parent, and was re-married in July. Until the point of his marriage, things were pretty friendly, no complications. Of course, after he was remarried, things changed. He just took my wife back to court to attempt to get her visitation suspended, which he, of course, was unsuccessful in doing. Here's where it gets good...
At the hearing, he presented my wife with a three page typed letter to the judge by, you guessed it, his new wife. In it, she used your favorite terms "we" and "our" in regards to the kids well over 50 times, and what she (the stepmom) feels should be done. The fact of the matter is, almost none of the letter is true, which can be easily proven, and her knowledge of anything would be non-existant, due to the fact that she has only been here once and, on top of that, they refuse to give my wife a number at which she can reach her kids at. In the letter, she claimed that my wife "refuses to work," even though she has a fulltime job. She claims that "we have talked about" this, and "we have talked about" that, yadda, yadda. Her "facts" are sorely incorrect and again, can easily be proven so. Basically, it's a "let's get mom out of the picture" letter," while trying to appear that that isn't the intention. But, here's the kicker....
My wife has asked for school records, medical records, copies of birth certificates for the girls, etc, which she is fully entitled to. Her ex simply refused the information, not even telling her that he decided to move the kids to a new school. Finally, my wife simply got the contact information, went into the school personally and got the school records she wanted. There has still been no medical records mailed to her, though her ex and his new wife claim that the kids visit the doctors often, and they also try to push the blame on us. For examply, one of the girls has hypothyroidism, while another is bi-polar. They claim that the girls wouldn't have these problems if mom's visitation was taken away.
While looking over the school records, my wife learned why her ex didn't want her to have the information... The enrollment forms, filed with the school, was under an address that they do not live at. They live at least 20-25 minutes away from the school, which is well out of the school's district... Had they put their real address, which was verified in court, the kids would not be allowed to even attend the school. Also, and this is the clincher... Under the mother's name slot? You guessed it, the new stepmother... Her contact info, etc, etc... There is even a note on the enrollment forms stating that, in the event of an emergency, "Call Mom - works from home" obviously referring to the stepmother. They also claim that the children live "with both parents," when there is the option of "Lives with one parent." The birth mother, my wife, is not even listed as an emergency contact, or on the enrollment form in any manner whatsoever, for that matter. The enrollment forms were filled out by the stepmother and signed by the father. In other words, she wrote them, he signed them.
Now, back to that three page letter... The first thing listed in this letter is: "It is not my intention to replace her (my wife) as the girls' mother." If she's not trying to replace my wife as the mother, why is she putting her name on school documents as the mother of the kids?
Basically, my wife is planning on taking her ex back to court regarding matters that he has refused to do, blatantly violating the divorce decree (Not providing her with documentation from school, medical visits and refusing visitation is a small example). The main questions she has, and I figured I'd post it here: Is there anything she can do regarding the stepmother overstepping her bounds when she wrote the letter to the judge and falsifying the school records? Could the school records be potential proof that the stepmother is in fact attempting to shut the biomom out of the girls' lives? If so, what should be done? What's the maximum penalty that would be incurred on the stepmother for the interference? Could my wife file for change in custody based on it? She's just looking for the best route to go regarding the entire mess. Any help would be appreciated.
-Bill
