how do i sign off my rights?

[bushbj]

What is the name of your state? hawaii

help me please!!! my ex wife is in pennsylvannia and i have to pay 600.00 a month for child support. i have remarried and have 3 kids with my new wife and i cannot afford the 600 a month. i am in the military and i have not seen my ex or my daughter i had with here for almost 3 years.i think she would be better off if i signed off. she is 5 yrs old and if i popped in her life it would confuse her and not work. how do i start this process???? help!!!

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? hawaii

help me please!!! my ex wife is in pennsylvannia and i have to pay 600.00 a month for child support. i have remarried and have 3 kids with my new wife and i cannot afford the 600 a month. i am in the military and i have not seen my ex or my daughter i had with here for almost 3 years.i think she would be better off if i signed off. she is 5 yrs old and if i popped in her life it would confuse her and not work. how do i start this process???? help!!!

You don't. It's not that easy. You can't just "sign off" on a child and your obligation to support that child.

Please use the Search function for Termination of Parental Rights on this forum~ You will see many many posts re; this subject. Unless the mother files to terminate your rights and has someone else willing to adopt the child, it likely won't happen.

 

[abstract99]

Seems like a good time for a vascetamy.

 

[brisgirl825]

Why did you have more kids then? I'll tell you what I tell every other person that comes on here talking about wanting child support lowered b/c of a new family...if you couldn't afford the ones you had, you shouldn't have made more.

She has to be willing as well as her spouse, if she has one, for you to terminate rights and have the child apoted. Even then there are time restrictions on how soon a step-parent can adopt after marriage.

Sarah

 

[beenthere30]

Why do people think the can just sign away their rights? If you could don't you think that people left and right would be doing it? Your child was there first why should that child have to suffer because you are remarried? Doesn't work that way. Thank God!

 

[casa]

Why did you have more kids then? I'll tell you what I tell every other person that comes on here talking about wanting child support lowered b/c of a new family...if you couldn't afford the ones you had, you shouldn't have made more.

She has to be willing as well as her spouse, if she has one, for you to terminate rights and have the child apoted. Even then there are time restrictions on how soon a step-parent can adopt after marriage.

Sarah

It gets even worse...he's wanting to "sign off" on his OWN child...but adopt his new wife's 3 children, which are not even his. (He hijacked another thread and gave that additional info.)

 

[brisgirl825]

Wow, she must not be getting child support then. I can't imagine someone being greedy enough to give up their own child b/c of cs but adopting someone else's kids and risk losing that cs.

I hope your child can find a real father who will give her all the love she deserves.

Sarah

 

[brisgirl825]

The first child shouldn't have to suffer..but in any INTACT family..regardless of family resources children must share when other siblings are born. I'm the oldest child of three girls born to 2 parents that are still married. I guarantee without a doubt that if I had been an only child I would have had a lot more of my parent's time and money. Was I denied any necessity. No? Did I have to share? Yes. Did I suffer because 2 other children were born. Absolutely not. Do I regret it? Absolutely not..I LOVE and ADORE my sisters. Siblings have to share. Intact family or not. Simple as that. Its not about not being able to afford other kids. Its about following the intended purpose of CS guidelines. To ensure that the kids are being supported in a manner similar to the one that they would be if they were living in an intact family. CS laws are total BS!

UMMM, if you read the whole thread you would know that the 3 other children aren't his, first of all. So no they're not siblings. Secondly, even in an intact family, each parent should be responsibile enough to decide if they can afford to have more children before they start trying to conceive. My husband and I certainly did that. So why should a CP be forced to have their cs lowered b/c the ex made the decision, w/o their input, about having more kids? It's basically making the cp pay for children that aren't theirs.

Sarah

 

[brisgirl825]

Obviously it's not the children's fault and they should taken care of just as well as the first child(ren). However, just b/c you can't afford "surprise" children doesn't mean that you should give up your responsibility to them or the first borns.
This man took on 3 more kids knowing he had another child. And instead of saying "ok, I'll support them all", he threw the oldest one away like a piece of trash. These weren't accidental babies that came into the picture. He knew what he was getting into and ignored his responsibilities.

Sarah

 

[joan marie]

It gets even worse...he's wanting to "sign off" on his OWN child...but adopt his new wife's 3 children, which are not even his. (He hijacked another thread and gave that additional info.)

and people wonder where angry, messed up adults come from? From messed up parents who neglect their children in so many ways. cant afford/have time for/nurture your own but want to "father" anothers? It would be honorable to "Father" others IF you fathered your own. You are no father, imnsho* and I hope your "own" daughter growns up strong in spite of you. Some day that "own" daughter will look for you, what will you tell her?

joan marie*

some people make me ashamed to be part of this "rat" race.. sheshhhh

 

[JillianKelly]

There seems to be a lot of seemingly bitter exes on this sight and some probably with good reason. My husband has a daughter we are expecting and we have discussed this sort of topic several times not terminating rights but the situation of adjusting income due to subsecquent births. People do move on with thier lives and remarry and have more children. This is not abnormal, and most fathers do not get full custody and they have thier children every other weekend. This is very lonely after a divorce and their child is taken away 3/4 of the time. This is a shock to the system and not to replace the first born child but to fufill thier lives people move on. We dilligently pay the support but our child shouldn't get less because of mistakes made in the parents past. All children are created equal and unless there are extreme circumstances it actually shouldn't take more to raise my 2 year old than it does yours. That said, you cannot, I repeat you cannot just terminate your child from your life. You can give up visitation but not your support obligation.. Sorry its at least an 18 year deal! Other than another man adopting its not an option. I was told that you can get a credit for other children but I don't think its enough money to mess with. I somehow never read on here about how the child support reciepients shouldn't have more children and ask another man/woman for child support.............I guess its because they have nothing to complain about???? If a CP can't afford their kids (at least in Indiana) they can sign up for all kinds of assistance even if they get support!! It's a double edged sword and as adults we should grow up and deal with it. It's probably not gonna change anytime soon. Oh and whoever said that thing about an ex driving the most sane person over the edge, I understand, sympathize and feel better knowing we arn't the only ones.

 

[casa]

BTW..wouldn't it be grand..to someday tell my son..no..no darling...I cannot buy you your school supplies this year..because..we only have XX dollar alloted for this, and your brother was here first. He'll pick out the notebooks and pens that he needs..and you'll get the money left over. Fair is fair..and mommy and daddy couldn't quite "afford" you when you were born. So you'll just have to wait.

ummm BlueMoon...if you told your son that, then YOU would have been the irresponsible parent who had more children than they could afford. In the OPs case, he wants to disregard his own child so he can take on 3 additional children bc they are wifey's.

I am responsible and will not have more children if I cannot afford them~ however, if my X decides he is Johnny Appleseed incarnate, does that mean that our child that has been here over a decade should suddenly receive LESS support? If your 'theory' held weight, it would go something like this: "I'm sorry honey no more extracurricular activities, or new clothes, forget about eating out occasionally and I hope you aren't too fond of hot water- Daddy wants to make lots of 'new' kids and he needs the money now to take care of them!" geeesh.

Now of course that is a hypothetical response to your hypothetical theory~ Because in reality I ensure my children are taken care of, regardless. But can you see the logic here?

 

[bushbj]

my child

i only want to sign off because inm in the marunes... overseas and i will not see her for the nex 3 years. i have not seen her for a year already. she does not know me at all and she is getting to that age wwhere she willnever know me. i cannot call because my i do not know where my ex is at.she is 5 nw and when i can finally see her she will be 8. i dont want to just jump into her life confusing her. plus my ex probably filled her head with all kinds of bull about me even though she cheated on me and destroyed the marriage when i was deployed to combat.

 

[AHA]

i only want to sign off because inm in the marunes... overseas and i will not see her for the nex 3 years. i have not seen her for a year already. she does not know me at all and she is getting to that age wwhere she willnever know me. i cannot call because my i do not know where my ex is at.she is 5 nw and when i can finally see her she will be 8. i dont want to just jump into her life confusing her. plus my ex probably filled her head with all kinds of bull about me even though she cheated on me and destroyed the marriage when i was deployed to combat.

The fact that you haven't been an active part of your child's life is your choice. You have, for years, had every right to file for at least visitation to get to know your kid or you could have stayed in close and frequent contact with her between visits(phone, letters, cards, emails). Please don't blame the poor child for being born or think that it's in the best interest for this kid if her father disappears forever. Unless you an abusive and violent person, it's not in ANY child's best interst to be shunned by one of their parents.