meldresler
Member
What is the name of your state? VA
I posted a couple of months ago, but didn't provide many details so I'd like to try again. I've been married for almost 7 years to someone I met through work. He seemed like a great guy at work, but it quickly turned very ugly. He wanted me to get pregnant right away and then said that I "went out and got myself pregnant" - that he really just wanted to be free to retire (in a few years), that he shouldn't have married me, that he was happier married to his ex, that everyone hates me, and worse. He was distant toward our baby and then when it was clear she hadn't bonded and didn't want him to hold her, he blamed the estrangement on me - maybe I spoil her, maybe I poison her against him. It couldn't be his distant behavior.
A few years ago I had decided to leave and was making plans (gradually). Then one morning (on a holiday), I went blind in one eye. I asked him to take me to the ER and he screamed that I was ruining his holiday, that he wanted to see his family, etc. We ended up making the trip (maybe 8 hours, all included) to see his family. I couldn't really drive myself to the ER because of, well, the blindness! When I finally made it to the doctor, they found bleeding behind my eye, said I was in serious trouble overall (both the eye and the underlying causes). I've spent over 2 years basically just going to doctor appointments.
He most recently said that at the end of the year he plans to retire and move (us) away, and it has to be near "his family" (mine is on the other coast), but the places he is mentioning are 10+ hours down the coast, 12 hours (by car) away from "his family". It seems like the time to make my move. Until recently the situation was neutral for my daughter, but now she is scared of him and asking to get away from him.
So, if he is planning to move out of state, does this tend to liberate me to move out of state? Does the timing matter? That is, does he have to make the move first, or is the intent sufficient? Does the distance matter? If he is planning to move 10 hours away, then, can't I go where I need to go? (I would stay here, but it's very $$$ and my family is on the other coast). I talked to a lawyer a year ago who told me to get a separation agreement before I left the state, so I don't plan to just take off. I am going back to the lawyer, but couldn't get an appointment for another week, and things are getting really ugly here quickly.
I appreciate any advice.What is the name of your state?
I posted a couple of months ago, but didn't provide many details so I'd like to try again. I've been married for almost 7 years to someone I met through work. He seemed like a great guy at work, but it quickly turned very ugly. He wanted me to get pregnant right away and then said that I "went out and got myself pregnant" - that he really just wanted to be free to retire (in a few years), that he shouldn't have married me, that he was happier married to his ex, that everyone hates me, and worse. He was distant toward our baby and then when it was clear she hadn't bonded and didn't want him to hold her, he blamed the estrangement on me - maybe I spoil her, maybe I poison her against him. It couldn't be his distant behavior.
A few years ago I had decided to leave and was making plans (gradually). Then one morning (on a holiday), I went blind in one eye. I asked him to take me to the ER and he screamed that I was ruining his holiday, that he wanted to see his family, etc. We ended up making the trip (maybe 8 hours, all included) to see his family. I couldn't really drive myself to the ER because of, well, the blindness! When I finally made it to the doctor, they found bleeding behind my eye, said I was in serious trouble overall (both the eye and the underlying causes). I've spent over 2 years basically just going to doctor appointments.
He most recently said that at the end of the year he plans to retire and move (us) away, and it has to be near "his family" (mine is on the other coast), but the places he is mentioning are 10+ hours down the coast, 12 hours (by car) away from "his family". It seems like the time to make my move. Until recently the situation was neutral for my daughter, but now she is scared of him and asking to get away from him.
So, if he is planning to move out of state, does this tend to liberate me to move out of state? Does the timing matter? That is, does he have to make the move first, or is the intent sufficient? Does the distance matter? If he is planning to move 10 hours away, then, can't I go where I need to go? (I would stay here, but it's very $$$ and my family is on the other coast). I talked to a lawyer a year ago who told me to get a separation agreement before I left the state, so I don't plan to just take off. I am going back to the lawyer, but couldn't get an appointment for another week, and things are getting really ugly here quickly.
I appreciate any advice.What is the name of your state?
