Husbands ex-wife has agreed to terminate her rights

[kelly11203]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

My husbands ex-wife sent me a msg yesterday telling me she wanter me to start the paperwork to sign over her rights. She has also said she was putting her other child up for adoption. Currently my husband has sole custody of their two children. my step children. First question is if she is willing to sign them over for me to adopt them, what is the legal process we have to go through to get this started? I have a lawyer but she is currently in court all week so I'm just trying to get an idea of what to expect. Second, if their divorce and the child custody was done it texas do we have to move it up here before we can start the adoption/termination process even if we are all and have all been residents of nc for over a year? Last question, I know both her and my husband have to agree to the termination and adoption, is he able to agree to it without appearing in court eaither by going through jag where he is deployed to and getting a statement notarized and signed by them, or via some other form of communication, web cam, affidavits something while he is deployed? The reason is we know that she has plans of dissapearing in nov when she gets a $15,000 settlement and we want to get this done before we are unable to locate her but my husband wont be back before then.

 

[MominCarolina]

I have gone through a step parent adoption in NC before and can offer some advice.

1. The first step would be to have your attorney draw up the termination/consent forms for the mother to fill out. There are quite a few pages of questions and answers mostly related to the mother's medical history.

2. No, you do not have to have any cases moved, but a copy of the order helps. My divorce/custody papers were also in another state and it was not required that the case be moved.

3. Check with your lawyer about your husband not appearing. He will have to fill out forms and sign them, but it's possible they could be sent to him.

In my case it was not required to attend a hearing, but we both met with DSS and have a home inspection. Again, check with your attorney and you may want to call DSS and run the situation by them and ask if he would be required to attend the meeting and home visit.

For our situation, the entire process took 3 1/2 months (consented termination). The visit with DSS and the home visit was about 2 months into the process. Then we received the adoption decree in the mail.

 

[kelly11203]

I have gone through a step parent adoption in NC before and can offer some advice.

1. The first step would be to have your attorney draw up the termination/consent forms for the mother to fill out. There are quite a few pages of questions and answers mostly related to the mother's medical history.

2. No, you do not have to have any cases moved, but a copy of the order helps. My divorce/custody papers were also in another state and it was not required that the case be moved.

3. Check with your lawyer about your husband not appearing. He will have to fill out forms and sign them, but it's possible they could be sent to him.

In my case it was not required to attend a hearing, but we both met with DSS and have a home inspection. Again, check with your attorney and you may want to call DSS and run the situation by them and ask if he would be required to attend the meeting and home visit.

For our situation, the entire process took 3 1/2 months (consented termination). The visit with DSS and the home visit was about 2 months into the process. Then we received the adoption decree in the mail.

what county was this in and how long ago? My husbands lawyer is saying we have to move it up here, file for a hearing to terminate her rights then once that is done fileing for adoption. I thought it would just be what you had said that seems to make more sense. But we are not sure if their bio mother might back out last minute or not so maybe that is why she is doing it the other way. I don't know I'm soo confused because I've heard so many different things.

 

[MominCarolina]

what county was this in and how long ago? My husbands lawyer is saying we have to move it up here, file for a hearing to terminate her rights then once that is done fileing for adoption. I thought it would just be what you had said that seems to make more sense. But we are not sure if their bio mother might back out last minute or not so maybe that is why she is doing it the other way. I don't know I'm soo confused because I've heard so many different things.

My case was in Gaston County right at 2 years ago.

The 2 scenarios is what my attorney gave me:

1. My ex would not consent, which would require him to be served and a hearing. At the hearing the judge would decide if his parental rights should be terminated. (I had a feeling he would not even show up.)

2. I could ask him if he would consent. If he consented, the papers would be filed. DSS would be notified for an interview and a home inspection.

Fortunately for us, he consented which cut about 3 months off the process and about $1000 in additional attorney fees.

Your attorney may want to file for a hearing if they think she will change her mind, you are not left with additional fees and time wasted by sending her the papers and she never fills them out. Plus if she is out of state and she is already thinking of consenting, she probably will not make the trip to the hearing.