I don't know what to do anymore?? Need Advise

[frustrated03]

What is the name of your state? New york

My 11 y/o daughter's father has been paying child support now for 8 years..it took quite a while to get it done, yet after losing his license and almost going to jail he finally got a job and there have been no problems...until he got layed off last year. Well his unemployment still paid his child support...yet while he was on unemployment he was working for a company making deliveries without being on the books. Well I thought that after his unemployment ran out he would go on the books and he's not. In the past two months he's only made two child support payments and it's killing me. Is there anything I can do??? If i take him back to court all he has to say is that he's not working and i'll lose my child support. How do I prove he's working or does it matter?? My father said he would pay for a PI, but will that work....??? I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advise?? I've tried talking to him yet he's just being aloof and very disrespectful. This weekend on his visit with our daughter he told her so many awful things about me that were not true. He told her that I would do anything to keep her from him and that I always argue with him and I don't....He also told her that I wouldn't let him take her for two weeks in August cause I'm mean like that. I was thinking about not letting her go cause our court papers say that he only gets two weeks in the summer...well she just came back tonight from two weeks with him...he was asking for more...and I don't know if I should let him have her....he sees her every other weekend holidays etc...i've never stopped any visitation, but i'm considering stopping her from going for two more weeks in august....just be cause he's not paying child support...i would never stop her from seeing him on their normal visitation....yet why should I give him extra time when he's not even paying child support. Yet I'll look like the bad guy if I don’t let her go….I told her that she could still go cause I don’t want to put her in the middle….yet he already has by saying nasty things about me…yet he never told her that he’s not doing his responsibility.

Thank you in advance

Heather

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Your father can hire a P.I. and you can hire one. But missing one or two payments in a two month period after 8 years of good history won't make it into court, much less get anything done?

And why is his missing two support payments 'Killing you?' You DO work right?

 

[frustrated03]

I guess I need to be more clear on the history of her father....it hasn't been a clean history of paying child support when it has come to her father. He's already lost his license in the past for not paying...then after that happened and he still didn't pay he was looking at jail. He finally got a job and the child support was garnished from his wages.

And no I don't work....not by choice. I am married and my husband works and he also pays child support for two of his own children. I've been looking for work for two years now....nothing in my field has come up so for the past 10 months I've been putting applications into retail stores and such yet living in a military town employment even in retail is few and far between. Not only that...the pay in retail dind't even cover the cost of daycare....So yes not recieving child support is hurting me more right now then ever before just because of "back to school" and stuff like that. My husband doesn't make enough money to support his kids and mine. My husband and I have done our best financially with me not working and I'm very aware that I am also responsible financially and more for my daughter....yet it's the extra things right now I need help with...like "back to school" clothes...etc...I'm not a deadbeat mom...it's not like I'm asking for more...I just want what is owed..that's it no more, no less....I've worked my whole life and have made damn good money that's why I've never relied on the child support before. This is the first time in my life that I have not been working.

And to also say...her father never paid child support for the first three years of her life cause I could not find him....once he was found...and forced to pay was when child support started. Until 3 years ago he was only allowed supervised visitation, 4 hours a month. My daughter loves her father and it's taken them a long time to build the relationship they have....yet why is it when a father doesn't do his end it's okay....and then the mother is looked at differently and is also expected to to suck it up and deal with it.

I had also said that he's only made two payments in the past two months...that's six weeks without payments. That's over $600.00 not paid. Child support did tell me that there is nothing they can do till he's $1500.00 in arreages. But do I just have to sit around and wait for that or can I go after him.

 

[BL]

What you do is go back into Both Courts .
Child support and Custody/visitations . They are separate issues.

1st, Child Support. File a Contempt Petition, you know how it works .

2nd, Child Custody/Visitations Modification petition . Due to The Other Parent Stating Derogatory Remarks about you, and how it effects the children's mental health. You can have the orders modified to include Neither Party is to speak or allow any derogatory remarks in front of or to the child(ren) about the other at any time . If outside Parties are in the child's presents during visits it can be ordered that they can not be around during Parent visitations .

You then ask the Court on the first appearance to appoint a Law Guardian for the Children and If need be a Psychological Evaluation of the Children.

I recommend in the meantime get the children into counseling .

Another note would be to stay within the Court ordered visit times. No more, no less .

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Here is a lnk re guardian ad litem for nyc: Civil Court of the City of New York, the court ... list of individuals qualified to act as a guardian ad litem.
http://www.nycourts.gov/courts/nyc/.../LSM/lsm153.htm

Since you are running short because of C/S not being paid, check in the community for counseling services, sometimes this is covered by your health insurance.

 

[jsumpter]

I have been through the same thing with my ex or at least similar. He always talks to the children about me and about our legal issues which is a no-no. He puts them in the middle and tries to get them "on his side" so to speak. He got behind on his CS too for one whole year he was only paying half of what was ordered. I live in TN. I went to the state attorney's office and had his CS withheld from his check after that. They told me though that they could go after anyone once they were behind one full month of payments, which obviously he was way over that. I got my money too.

jsumpter