I need somemore sug....

[shari36]

What is the name of your state?Oregon

I wrote you all before about the parenting/custody plan of my 9 year old son and things arent going so well..I went to mediation and came up with a plan that had every visit the bio dad had asked for in the papers I was served. After the many changes and changes by his request on this parenting plan Iam finally feed up. I feel like I have to agree because he has rights and I did not want to go to court. Today all that has changed I am going with only what he asked for in the papers I was served.Not to be a(BLeep) But because I feel he is totally thinking of only himself and not the best interest of the child. Remembering he does not have any relationship with this child by his choice.He wants to exercise his parental rights and I think if he is serious Im all for that.Im just deeply Confused as to how much parenting time is app.. at this stage in the relationship. Ok I know I just babbled on and on I would like to know in court, what would a judge deside to do in my childs situation?? Is it fair for me to give all this visitation when My son has only had two visits in 9 years?? I hope you can give me some input even though Im not being really clear..
Thanks Shari

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?Oregon

I wrote you all before about the parenting/custody plan of my 9 year old son and things arent going so well..I went to mediation and came up with a plan that had every visit the bio dad had asked for in the papers I was served. After the many changes and changes by his request on this parenting plan Iam finally feed up. I feel like I have to agree because he has rights and I did not want to go to court. Today all that has changed I am going with only what he asked for in the papers I was served.Not to be a(BLeep) But because I feel he is totally thinking of only himself and not the best interest of the child. Remembering he does not have any relationship with this child by his choice.He wants to exercise his parental rights and I think if he is serious Im all for that.Im just deeply Confused as to how much parenting time is app.. at this stage in the relationship. Ok I know I just babbled on and on I would like to know in court, what would a judge deside to do in my childs situation?? Is it fair for me to give all this visitation when My son has only had two visits in 9 years?? I hope you can give me some input even though Im not being really clear..
Thanks Shari

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=214500

Maybe attaching the link to your previous thread will make it easier~ Posting in different places without all the information makes it difficult for people to give you accurate answers.

When you agreed in mediation- was the agreement made part of the court order? If so, you've already agreed and so you need to follow it.

 

[shari36]

re

Im not sure how to attach thread so I will let ya know a little of what I posted before..Have a nine year old son. Bio dad has had no contact With child except for two visits in 9 yrs.. I was served papers from bio dad for custody,parenting time and support. I was blown away when this happened. He has had no interest of anykind in this child. I retained an attorney and was ordered Mediation to reach and agreement . I have been fair and prety much agree to the times he would like visitation.

Every other x-mas 1wk
every B-day weekend prior to or following Childs B-day
Every other Thanks giving
2 weeks out of summer (to Start out) led up to the 35 days
every other spring break
every other fathers day because I feel child should not have to abandon the father son relationship he already has with stepdad (who has been the only father my son has known)
Mother get sole physical custody and sole legal custody.

That was what we agreed on the first round of mediation now he is adding all sorts of things. I have not signed anything and not about to everything is in conflict. I tell my attorney what I want and he says go for it and then in the same breath he tells me what a judge will typically rule on.. I dont get it. Doesnt the fact he The bio dad has no relationship with the child play a factor in desiding how much visitation to give ncp???

 

[casa]

Im not sure how to attach thread so I will let ya know a little of what I posted before..Have a nine year old son. Bio dad has had no contact With child except for two visits in 9 yrs.. I was served papers from bio dad for custody,parenting time and support. I was blown away when this happened. He has had no interest of anykind in this child. I retained an attorney and was ordered Mediation to reach and agreement . I have been fair and prety much agree to the times he would like visitation.

Every other x-mas 1wk
every B-day weekend prior to or following Childs B-day
Every other Thanks giving
2 weeks out of summer (to Start out) led up to the 35 days
every other spring break
every other fathers day because I feel child should not have to abandon the father son relationship he already has with stepdad (who has been the only father my son has known)
Mother get sole physical custody and sole legal custody.

That was what we agreed on the first round of mediation now he is adding all sorts of things. I have not signed anything and not about to everything is in conflict. I tell my attorney what I want and he says go for it and then in the same breath he tells me what a judge will typically rule on.. I dont get it. Doesnt the fact he The bio dad has no relationship with the child play a factor in desiding how much visitation to give ncp???

Absolutely a judge will consider the fact the father has been absent all these years. He will get visitation, but you can ask that it slowly increase over time.

Your attorney is telling you that you can ask for what you want, but what you'll likely get is not necessarily the same thing. Often parents ask for more than what they want, and then are willing to take less so they feel they have a better chance.

The fact that you were willing to cooperate (within reason) will look favorably for you with the judge.

 

[shari36]

re-

Thanks for the reply. Do you think the visitation plan I listed is somewhat fair?? I will meet bio half way on the majority of the visits the only ones I will not meet will be everyother fathers day weekend and every B-day weekend prior to or following.. The half way point is 6hours round trip and I am going to be strapped. My car is done in and I do not get regular suport payments just whenever they can garnish which has only been about 1,600 in the last 9 years. I mention this only because I could not even count on this income to have someone take us (my son and I ) to the half way point. Sad but true. i am however going to make sure He will Get there on the specified times and days.. Im still not so sure I shouldnt go for him being soley resp. For the transpo. A lot of mixed info. on that topic What do you think??? Thanks

 

[critterperson]

Thanks for the reply. Do you think the visitation plan I listed is somewhat fair?? I will meet bio half way on the majority of the visits the only ones I will not meet will be everyother fathers day weekend and every B-day weekend prior to or following.. The half way point is 6hours round trip and I am going to be strapped. My car is done in and I do not get regular suport payments just whenever they can garnish which has only been about 1,600 in the last 9 years. I mention this only because I could not even count on this income to have someone take us (my son and I ) to the half way point. Sad but true. i am however going to make sure He will Get there on the specified times and days.. Im still not so sure I shouldnt go for him being soley resp. For the transpo. A lot of mixed info. on that topic What do you think??? Thanks

shari36,

Do you have an attorney? If not, I would get one if I were you........What you are offering seems more than fair..I have seen NCP's get a LOT less including supervised visits to develope a bond with the child before they are able to have them for any length of time on their own...If he has truly only paid $1600 and seen the child 2 times in 9 years the judge would laugh him out of court in Illinois if he though he would get more than supervised.. An attorney may be costly but well worth it

 

[casa]

Thanks for the reply. Do you think the visitation plan I listed is somewhat fair?? I will meet bio half way on the majority of the visits the only ones I will not meet will be everyother fathers day weekend and every B-day weekend prior to or following.. The half way point is 6hours round trip and I am going to be strapped. My car is done in and I do not get regular suport payments just whenever they can garnish which has only been about 1,600 in the last 9 years. I mention this only because I could not even count on this income to have someone take us (my son and I ) to the half way point. Sad but true. i am however going to make sure He will Get there on the specified times and days.. Im still not so sure I shouldnt go for him being soley resp. For the transpo. A lot of mixed info. on that topic What do you think??? Thanks

My advice is the same as it was on the original thread you started~ Ask that he be responsible for transportation costs. Not only are you likely to get it because you did not create the distance (he did by his lack of interraction with your child his whole life) but also because it will really show if he's willing to consistently participate this time- Your child isn't driven 1/2 way only to find Dad not there, he stays at home where he is comfortable.

 

[shari36]

Thanks for the reply

Yes I do have an attorney and he said that a judge typicaly will have the parties meet half way.Which did not sound to me like it was in my favor..Needless to say I think I will go for it. It looks like we are going to court as Iam sure he will not agree to this final plan. I tried in good faith to keep this out of court and fair and he used that against me in the sense that He keeps wanting more and more because I was so willing. Our court date is set for May 25 2005 if things arent resolved by then at least there will be an ending point to all this leagl hassle. I thank all who replied so fast. I just can seem to get enough feedback to reasure myself that I am being fair and acting in the best interest of my child.
Shari

 

[shari36]

two years later

Wasnt sure which thread to use to give back ground info

 

[shari36]

oops

two years after judgement things are still going down hill.. Bio dad has had no contact in seven months is 14,000 behind in suport and has no driving privileges. not surprised about all that.. I just had a change of venu done for suport enforcement to my county as that is where the last order was filed.. My question is this, My county is filing contempt charges against bio dad for non payment. what happens during this hearing?? Will I have to appear also??

 

[Zigner]

Wasnt sure which thread to use to give back ground info

Do you have a further question? We have no clue where things are at with you now.

 

[CourtClerk]

two years after judgement things are still going down hill.. Bio dad has had no contact in seven months is 14,000 behind in suport and has no driving privileges. not surprised about all that.. I just had a change of venu done for suport enforcement to my county as that is where the last order was filed.. My question is this, My county is filing contempt charges against bio dad for non payment. what happens during this hearing?? Will I have to appear also??

You'll have to contact CSE to see if your appearance is necessary, but generally no, you don't have to appear. This is basically between them and him and they know he's not paying, they don't need you there to tell them what they already know. Call CSE on Tuesday and ask them.

 

[Gracie3787]

two years after judgement things are still going down hill.. Bio dad has had no contact in seven months is 14,000 behind in suport and has no driving privileges. not surprised about all that.. I just had a change of venu done for suport enforcement to my county as that is where the last order was filed.. My question is this, My county is filing contempt charges against bio dad for non payment. what happens during this hearing?? Will I have to appear also??

Usually when a state CSE files for contempt, the CP is not required to appear. However, it is always a good idea to appear anyway just in case. Especially when you have recently done a change of venue to your county.

During a contempt hearing the court will determine if the NCP has WILLFULLY refused to obey the court order. If the NCP has had an income with the abilty to pay, the most likley outcome is a finding of contempt with a "purge" payment ordered. (the purge is usually a percentage of the arrears, based on what the NCP's income/assets are at the time of hearing).

In some courts, a purge and jail can be ordered, in other words a purge of $blank amount of dallars, or jail, sometimes both.