My response:
Crystal, I'm going to backpeddle ever so slightly with my opinion of Steppers.
When it comes to making decisions for, and with, your stepchildren within the four walls of your home, that's perfectly fine as far as I'm concerned. As an adult, you, as a Stepper, have EVERY right to make rules within your home, and EXPECT that those rules are followed by the children.
But, that's where it begins and ends. Once those children are outside the four walls of your home, and you feel the need, or the "right" to make decisions of a serious nature for them, then that's the time Steppers overstep their boundaries. And that's when trouble starts.
I happen to enjoy when my opponents allow their client's new wives or husbands (the steppers) to control them. That's when I'm able to shoot them down, and win. When an overbearing Stepper starts calling the shots, that's when my opponents have lost control and lost their client's case.
It happens all the time.
Steppers feel "empowered" during the litigation, but once they "help" to lose their spouse's case, that's when they finally shut up - - but, by that time it's too late.
Also, when you think about it, when a Stepper starts to call the shots, it's not the Stepper that has to live with that decision or the results. It's the real parent. Because, theoretically, Steppers can walk away from the situations they have created, leaving crap in their wake, and causing someone else to "live" with what they have caused - - and, all because they "feel" they have rights.
They don't.
If a new client comes to my office with their new spouse, who may also be a Stepper, the first thing I tell them is "the way it is" and that I don't want to hear a peep out of them. If they want to have "pillow talk" about the litigation, that's fine with me. Just don't call me, write to me, or butt into my conversations with MY client.
That's why I have control of my clients, and that's why I tell Steppers to shut up. If they don't like it, they can leave. And guess what ? There's always another client in my waiting room.
IAAL