I'm being investigated by CPS, HELP!

[lilmarin]

What is the name of your state?California
An incident had occured where me and my son were rough housing and he hit his face on the part of the floor between the carpet and the lanolium, a metal strip. He was bruised under his eye. I dropped my son off at his fathers house and recieved a phone call concerning the bruise. My son had told his father that i had "back-handed" him for jumping on the family dog. This was not true at all. CPS has now interviewed me and I'm not sure if they are going to press charges, they said that it would be up to the D.A. I'm scared as hell and I dont want to lose my son over some lie. What should I do? Me and my sons father have no set visitation and he doesn't pay child support for there is no order. We are not married and my son is 3. Please help me!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

This is one of the problems with not being married and not having court orders re your child. Children have accidents, even accidents that look bad. Children at age 3 may not always communicate well and be influenced when they are asked, so he might report the injury as such after being caoched. Here is the thing, you should have taken the child to the doctor before taking the child to the father especially if you have no court orders. Then the doctor could have verfied the injury and provided treatment as needed. Also, if the injury was as you stated, then, there should be marks consistant with hitting the metal strip as opposed to your hand. In the mean time, the father could have injured the child and you would get blamed.

You will have to wait to see how this turns out, more than likely you will want to establish paternity by DNA by filing a paternity suit the forms are available from the family law section of the superior court along with fee waivers if you need them. You can also ask for help from the family law facilitators office if you cannot afford an attorney or contact legal aid or bar association.

Once paternity is eatablished you can file for custody, child support and visitation, understanding that the "father" will have rights to at least visit the child no matter the DNA results because you have represented him as the father and he has acted as the father for 3 years. I would also suggest that while you are at the family court you inquire about parenting classes before a judge orders them and avail yourself of counseling that may be available to you.

 

[CdwJava]

What is the name of your state?California
An incident had occured where me and my son were rough housing and he hit his face on the part of the floor between the carpet and the lanolium, a metal strip. He was bruised under his eye. I dropped my son off at his fathers house and recieved a phone call concerning the bruise. My son had told his father that i had "back-handed" him for jumping on the family dog. This was not true at all. CPS has now interviewed me and I'm not sure if they are going to press charges, they said that it would be up to the D.A. I'm scared as hell and I dont want to lose my son over some lie. What should I do? Me and my sons father have no set visitation and he doesn't pay child support for there is no order. We are not married and my son is 3. Please help me!

If charges are going to be filed, chances are the police will be involved first. I do not know of any counties where CPS filed the criminal charges directly to the DA ... but, I suppose it IS possible, depending upon the status of their investigators and their policies. However, CPS CAN remove the child from the home without criminal charges pending.

One thing they might do is obtain a forensic medical examination. A doctor with the appropriate training will be able to tell if the injury beneath your son's eye is consistent with your statement of events or with a "back hand". I know from experience that this will probably be very obvious to virtually ANY doctor - especially one that is trained the forensics of injuries to children.

My boys have fallen on all sorts of things and have never gotten a black eye except for when they ran in to an extended object like a door knob, a knee, the corner of a table, etc. I can see where they are suspicious that a fall on to a metal strip on the floor might cause a "black eye" ... I know I would be suspicious of that as well.

You know the truth - we don't, and CPS doesn't ... yet. Expect that they will discover the truth and act accordingly. Also understand that CPS will likely act in the safety of the child, and that MIGHT mean removing the child from your care until the matter is resolved.

- Carl

 

[lilmarin]

I was interviewed by a police officer first, then by another officer along with a CPS worker. The last officer that i spoke to said that he was going to finish up his report then send if over to that D.A. and that the D.A. would decide if I would be prosecuted. However the CPS worker told me that I could go pick up my child because she didnt think that I was a threat to my child. Now the father of our son has recieved temporary custody until the investigation is over. He went and filed for custody and he said that i'll get our son during supervised visits only! Now my question is this, how long is this investigation going to go on for? Knowing that I'm not guilty should i go ahead and file for custody already because it takes awhile to get a court date? How is this pending investigation going to make me look in the judges eye? When the investigation is closed can it be used against me to get his father more time or is this going to hang over my head forever?

 

[CdwJava]

Yes, I suppose the Ex COULD hold it against you in a custody hearing.

As for how long it might take, there is no way to answer that. If they were going to charge you, chances are they would have done that pretty quickly. But, it doesn't have to be done quickly, they DO have a year - or more, if they are pursuing felony charges.

Chances are CPS will close its case long before that. I'd say you will know within 60 days whether you will be facing charges or not. But, that's just a guess.

- Carl

 

[lilmarin]

What goes around comes around

My sons father went behind my back and filed papers, all the while saying he didn't want to take this into the courts. The only thing that was counting against me was this allegation to child abuse. I've been the more responsible of the two of us, held a steady job since our break-up, provided insurance for my son through my job, all without child support. Today the CPS worker called me to let me know that she was going to close the investigation against me. She didn't think of me as a threat to my son and if she had she would of came out to my house alot earlier to continue her investigation. Knowing that I would be found innocent I went ahead and filed for sole legal and sole physical custody today. The gentleman that worked in the family law dept., said that I should show up for this Fridays court date. My sons father had the court date moved up as quick as possible. He said so that my son wouldnt be away from me for that long. The guy also said that my sons father hadn't even paid his filing fee just yet so he wasn't sure is the judge would even hear the case. So since I filed, if he hasn't taken care of the bill then I can pay my fee and have my case heard! Whats messed up is that even though I've been found technically innocent, my sons father is saying that I still hit my son! Even to my sons face! Even though He's heard my son tell him what really happened.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Your son said you hit him, the injury occured while you and your son were rough housing or so you say, so you have some responsibility for the injury accident or not. There doesn't have to be intent to have injury or neglect. The injury you describe is more likely caused by a slap than hitting the floor, but competent examinaiton should reveal the cause. You may have even hit him while rough housing, I don't know, but if you brought me a child with an injury as you described and the child said you hit them without prompting, and I didn't see evidence of the metal strip, I would tend to believe them and I would petition for custody and let the court decide. The fact that it is being forwarded to the DA lends some credibility to the charge. Dad can get the fee waived or it may have been waived because of the CPS involvement, so don't let that get your hopes up, keep us updated. Fee waivers are sealed so they couldn't tell you if it was waived.

 

[king sol]

Rough housing with a 3 year old?

 

[candi4687]

What are you thinking anyways? I understand that kids play and sometimes get hurt but come on now. YOU ARE THE ADULT! What do you mean "Rough Housing", especially with a 3 yr old?!
By the way for your son at age 3 to say that you "back-Handed" him either shows he is VERY intelligent or someone has told him that. I may be wrong but I have a 4 yr old son and a 6 yr old daughter and all they would say is they were hit, slapped, or got a boo boo from something. Just my opinion with having my own 2 kids and helping raise another 4, something seems strange about all of this. Good Luck if you did not do this and Good luck to the father if you did.

 

[azgrandpa]

Pardon me while I PUKE!

I am so sick and tired of all these DO-GooderS in public service positions being so protective of OUR children. And yes they are OUR children! They aren't possesions , but loved offsprings. Unlike the CPSes of our world: to them they are meerly possesions to use as control over the parents!

It's no wonder kids are growing up to massacre other kids in their schools and such! They learn as they grow up that BIG BROTHER is there to protect them if their parents attempt to control them! So, they grow up believing that they can do what ever the hell they want without reprisal!

Ever since BIG BROTHER started taking such an interest in how families are conducted; we have had a never ending increase in child violence. Can't anyone else see this?

We should be working on taking control of our kids back from the CPSes of this world! Start fighting back!!
Pardon me; I've got to go PUKE again!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I am so sick and tired of all these DO-GooderS in public service positions being so protective of OUR children. And yes they are OUR children! They aren't possesions , but loved offsprings. Unlike the CPSes of our world: to them they are meerly possesions to use as control over the parents!

It's no wonder kids are growing up to massacre other kids in their schools and such! They learn as they grow up that BIG BROTHER is there to protect them if their parents attempt to control them! So, they grow up believing that they can do what ever the hell they want without reprisal!

Ever since BIG BROTHER started taking such an interest in how families are conducted; we have had a never ending increase in child violence. Can't anyone else see this?

We should be working on taking control of our kids back from the CPSes of this world! Start fighting back!!
Pardon me; I've got to go PUKE again!!!

Spoken like someone with something to hide!

 

[LdiJ]

I am so sick and tired of all these DO-GooderS in public service positions being so protective of OUR children. And yes they are OUR children! They aren't possesions , but loved offsprings. Unlike the CPSes of our world: to them they are meerly possesions to use as control over the parents!

It's no wonder kids are growing up to massacre other kids in their schools and such! They learn as they grow up that BIG BROTHER is there to protect them if their parents attempt to control them! So, they grow up believing that they can do what ever the hell they want without reprisal!

Ever since BIG BROTHER started taking such an interest in how families are conducted; we have had a never ending increase in child violence. Can't anyone else see this?

We should be working on taking control of our kids back from the CPSes of this world! Start fighting back!!
Pardon me; I've got to go PUKE again!!!

While I am not sure that I entirely agree with you I do believe that you make a valid point. We, as a society, have lost control of our kids to a great extent....and I do believe that it is partially due to many parent's fears of using corporal punishment. My dad used his fraternity paddle on us as kids (I am 47). He NEVER did it in anger. His method of controlling us was a simple one. If we were doing something he thought was wrong, he would say "1, 2, 3, slowly, and if we didn't stop or obey him, then he would say "1 swat, 2 swats....we RARELY let him get past 2 swats without obeying. It was up to us to keep track of how many swats we had coming, and he delivered them saturday mornings. If we told him the wrong number, we got an extra one.

Now, admittedly, I don't think that dad realized how much that paddle hurt. One day, he was doing something that we always got into trouble for, and mom did the 1,2,3, 1 swat, 2 swat thing to him. He thought it was a joke but on Saturday morning she made him take the swats from her. That was the last time he used the paddle..LOL..from then on swats were administered with his hand...and not too many years after that they stopped because we were too old to spank.

Nevertheless we never thought we were abused, and I still don't think we were, and we had a healthy respect for our parents. My daughter is a great child, but she isn't perfect, and although she probably got no more than 4 spankings her entire childhood, she did threaten me saying "thats child abuse" more than once. Plus with the high amount of divorced and unwed parents in this country, and the "use anything you can to get custody" mentality, I suspect that most parents are just too darned scared to discipline their children as well as they could/should.

I greatly respect parents who can raise kids as solid citizens without ever having to use any kind of corporal punishment. However the reality of things is that schools can't paddle anymore (and that DID work when I was a kid), parents are almost at the point where they can't spank...and we seem to have a generation of kids that are completely out of control....maybe more than one generation.....and I don't believe that we can blame it all on the fact that so many families don't stay together. That is a great part of it, but all the kids who grew up in single parent households due to WW2 didn't cause this phenomena that we are dealing with today.

 

[azgrandpa]

Posted by rmet4nzkx

Spoken like someone with something to hide!

My response: Spoken like someone without a clue!

I can speak freely because I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of!

I raised two good boys that to this day love me. They received corporal punishment on those occasions when it was necessary! They also, received much love at all times! I never had to fear reprisal from CPS because it was before their rise to power!! Most parents want to keep control of their kids, but are afraid to because of BIG BROTHER! So the kids grow up without the benifit of learning how to respect others and what is right & wrong.

If a parent doesn't know the difference between corporal punishment and a beating; then they should have to suffer the full force of BIG BROTHER'S ire!

But, the good parents shouldn't have to be fearful of disciplening their children.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Posted by rmet4nzkx


My response: Spoken like someone without a clue!

I can speak freely because I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of!

I raised two good boys that to this day love me. They received corporal punishment on those occasions when it was necessary! They also, received much love at all times! I never had to fear reprisal from CPS because it was before their rise to power!! Most parents want to keep control of their kids, but are afraid to because of BIG BROTHER! So the kids grow up without the benifit of learning how to respect others and what is right & wrong.

If a parent doesn't know the difference between corporal punishment and a beating; then they should have to suffer the full force of BIG BROTHER'S ire!

But, the good parents shouldn't have to be fearful of disciplening their children.

Actually your post simply proves my point when you admit to corporal punishment of your sons. The simple fact that you admit that it was before the rise of CPS to power only adds more creedence. I grew up beaten everyday by my redneck father, beating us while he was drunk because he figured we must have done something to deserve it. Times were different then, that doesn't make it right.

I raised sons also and never beat them and they turned out just fine.

OP's story doesn't ring true, most mothers are not roughhousing with three year old children and they don't usually say that mommy slapped their face rather than hit the floor, each injury would look very different. Please would you really think it was ok to either slam a child's head into the floor or slap their face enough to bruise them without getting medical care and then be surprized the other parent cares? Please get real! It is not a BIG BROTHER CONSPIRACY!

 

[azgrandpa]

posted byrmet4nzkx

Please get real! It is not a BIG BROTHER CONSPIRACY!

I didn't mention conspiracy, but it is a BIG BROTHER MISTAKE!
And they better realize it soon or we are doomed to pay the consiquences!

And you, as many others seem to mistake corporal punishment for a BEATING!
Did I say I beat my kids? Therein lies the problem with the DO_GOODERS and BIG BROTHER! These are people that don't understand parenting.

Let me ask you. Do you think Sadam Hussein would have quit being the threat to the region that he was if the US would have threatened to put him in TIME_OUT for ten minutes?

Of course not! And kids will only respond to that kind of punishment for a short time and then they will tell you to take a long hike off a short pier! Then what is your choices? You've already spent years teaching them that it's not going to hurt them to disobey, so now you are reaping what you sowed!

I say again; you don't have a clue!