ingorragible teen

[Wanda Roles]

I am trying to locate an attorny to assist me with my 14yo son. Who is ingorrigable, doesn't follow my rules, or the rules of school. Not complying with the contract that he signed when he left the placement of Kingston Childrens Home. Can not deal with this stuff any longer,is now threating to kill people and does not care what I may have to say.

All I get now, is that he has RIGHTS and I can't do anything about him, or how he treats me, or any other adult who may have authority over him or his actions.

Does not believe there are any consequences to his actions or statements, because he is a minor. Nothing can happen to him.

This has been going on for 12 years now. With the last 3 working with DSS, Family Court, Doctors, YAP, and other sources. Still no change with my son, and it is now starting to get physically, and verbally abusive in a whole new manner. I can't deal with these actions, and at time i have been scared of what he just may do, or how he will react to something.

My question is: What are my rights, reguarding my son. How/where can I go to get him help. Other than staying in my home.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I am trying to locate an attorny to assist me with my 14yo son. Who is ingorrigable, doesn't follow my rules, or the rules of school. Not complying with the contract that he signed when he left the placement of Kingston Childrens Home. Can not deal with this stuff any longer,is now threating to kill people and does not care what I may have to say.

All I get now, is that he has RIGHTS and I can't do anything about him, or how he treats me, or any other adult who may have authority over him or his actions.

Does not believe there are any consequences to his actions or statements, because he is a minor. Nothing can happen to him.

This has been going on for 12 years now. With the last 3 working with DSS, Family Court, Doctors, YAP, and other sources. Still no change with my son, and it is now starting to get physically, and verbally abusive in a whole new manner. I can't deal with these actions, and at time i have been scared of what he just may do, or how he will react to something.

My question is: What are my rights, reguarding my son. How/where can I go to get him help. Other than staying in my home.

My response:

Buy two tickets to Mexico - deep into Mexico - round trip for you, and one way for him.

Check into a hotel, and tell him you're going to get a magazine. Keep going, and fly back home.

Let Mexico take care of him.

IAAL

 

[Ukiah]

I am trying to locate an attorny to assist me with my 14yo son. Who is ingorrigable, doesn't follow my rules, or the rules of school. Not complying with the contract that he signed when he left the placement of Kingston Childrens Home. Can not deal with this stuff any longer,is now threating to kill people and does not care what I may have to say.

All I get now, is that he has RIGHTS and I can't do anything about him, or how he treats me, or any other adult who may have authority over him or his actions.

Does not believe there are any consequences to his actions or statements, because he is a minor. Nothing can happen to him.

This has been going on for 12 years now. With the last 3 working with DSS, Family Court, Doctors, YAP, and other sources. Still no change with my son, and it is now starting to get physically, and verbally abusive in a whole new manner. I can't deal with these actions, and at time i have been scared of what he just may do, or how he will react to something.

My question is: What are my rights, reguarding my son. How/where can I go to get him help. Other than staying in my home.

My response:

Buy two tickets to Mexico - deep into Mexico - round trip for you, and one way for him.

Check into a hotel, and tell him you're going to get a magazine. Keep going, and fly back home.

Let Mexico take care of him.

IAAL

IAAL that's terrible! Funny, but terrible!

Can't she give him up to the state? Or have him put in a group home?


To Wanda:

You say this has been going on since he was 2?! That's being a little ridiculous. YOU are his parent, you need to take accountability for your own actions in raising this boy.

He has learned, 12 years ago that no matter what he does he can get away with it, because you only threaten him with action instead of taking action. And you continue to do it.

I'm not putting you down, just pointing out the obvious. ALL children want and need discipline. They (the children) have stated this. He has learned that in order for you to pay attention to him, he has to act badly, so the worse he gets, the more attention he gets. If he has done something good, do you praise him?

How much actual time do you spend with him? One on one? Has there been someone else in your life that he feels has threatened the realtionship? WHere is the father?

Maybe IAAL has a point, put him in a more harsh environment (for a time), maybe his attitude will change. Sally Jesse Rafeal always has shows on Boot Camp for teens....

I don't agree with this method of belittling children, in some cases it may work. You also have to be willing to be more assertive when it comes to disciplining him. He has tested you and you failed that test. He doesn't respect you because you haven't made him respect you.

 

[Wanda Roles]

ingorrigable teen

The father is dead, and walked away from my son before he was 1 yo. Never any contact, until 2 years ago, when we learned he was dead.

I can only take away so many previledges before that did not do any good. I have raised him on my own for the past 12 years. No family to help me in this area.

He has already been in and out of placement. worked for a while, now he is right back to where he was before, still doesn't think he has to follow the disipline i set up or even care what I say or do. My rights are not what is important to him.

as for another person in my life. I stayed out of relationships because i thought that was best. Unitl, 4 years ago, then i found a man that was willing to take us as a package. Then my son decided that what this man offered was not good enough for him, and has made my life a living hell ever since.

I have always been there for my son, and we spend a great deal of time together. As i said before, there is no one else from my family in this state. I have givin up so much for my son to have everything he may want. Not giving to me, in order for him to have something and/ all. I have made many sacrafices in order for this child to get the help he needs, yet to no avail it seems.

 

[Ukiah]

Re: ingorrigable teen

The father is dead, and walked away from my son before he was 1 yo. Never any contact, until 2 years ago, when we learned he was dead.

I can only take away so many previledges before that did not do any good. I have raised him on my own for the past 12 years. No family to help me in this area.

He has already been in and out of placement. worked for a while, now he is right back to where he was before, still doesn't think he has to follow the disipline i set up or even care what I say or do. My rights are not what is important to him.

as for another person in my life. I stayed out of relationships because i thought that was best. Unitl, 4 years ago, then i found a man that was willing to take us as a package. Then my son decided that what this man offered was not good enough for him, and has made my life a living hell ever since.

I have always been there for my son, and we spend a great deal of time together. As i said before, there is no one else from my family in this state. I have givin up so much for my son to have everything he may want. Not giving to me, in order for him to have something and/ all. I have made many sacrafices in order for this child to get the help he needs, yet to no avail it seems.

I'm sorry about the situation with his father.

What would you think about a juvenile boot camp, or military school? Therapy, jointly or seperately?

Making him work for the things he wants may help. Don't give him anything unless he earns it. He is old enough now that you can begin to take control of your life and let him see that he will not affect you.

Confront him with the things he's done. The first time he hits you call the police, have him sent to military school. He'll straighten up with more tough love than anything else, from the sounds of it.

You've made it this far, so don't give up just yet. Maybe talk with him, ask him what he thinks about his realtionship with you. Ask the hard questions that you may not want to hear the answers to, and then with him, figure out what you and he can do together. Or the three of you can do to make life better for everyone. Ask him if he's happy with his life, find out why he isn't.

I wish you all the luck in the world!

 

[Carmela7]

My response:

Buy two tickets to Mexico - deep into Mexico - round trip for you, and one way for him.

Check into a hotel, and tell him you're going to get a magazine. Keep going, and fly back home.

Let Mexico take care of him.

IAAL

Just for discussion sake, what do you think the SC authorities could do to a mom of, say, a 17 year old whose
18th birthday is in, let's say, a week and a half if she were to do this for real?

'Cause this is one of the best pieces of advice that I have heard of in about 5 years of seeking help for my "troubled" son!

No, really!! What could "they" do?

Thanks!!

Carmela7

 

[Agent Orange]

If you're going on the advice of IAAL...

My response:

Buy two tickets to Mexico - deep into Mexico - round trip for you, and one way for him.

Check into a hotel, and tell him you're going to get a magazine. Keep going, and fly back home.

Let Mexico take care of him.

IAAL

Just for discussion sake, what do you think the SC authorities could do to a mom of, say, a 17 year old whose
18th birthday is in, let's say, a week and a half if she were to do this for real?

'Cause this is one of the best pieces of advice that I have heard of in about 5 years of seeking help for my "troubled" son!

No, really!! What could "they" do?

Thanks!!

Carmela7

Why don't you plan a vacation with him for his 18th B-day, and do as IAAL suggested. If he's almost 18, I doubt there is anything that can be done. To play it Safe, maybe wait til after he's 18, take the trip and leave him in the room as IAAL suggests, go to the concierge (sp?) and leave a note for him to be delivered later (after your flight leaves)saying he is old enough now to be on his own and find out what life has instore for him, also let him know that he can call you at home, but he cannot return there as he no longer lives there....

 

[Carmela7]

hmmm...

You know, I've been wanting to go back to Disney World.

And you know, it IS a very crowded place. Could I help it if he couldn't find me after standing in line for 2 hours to ride "Mickey's Mighty Mountain Roller Coaster Roundup"? (I think that's what it's called)

Hell, I wish that my parents would have done something like that for me!

The more I think about it, the better I like that idea.

Thanks gang,

Carmela7

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: hmmm...

You know, I've been wanting to go back to Disney World.

And you know, it IS a very crowded place. Could I help it if he couldn't find me after standing in line for 2 hours to ride "Mickey's Mighty Mountain Roller Coaster Roundup"? (I think that's what it's called)

Hell, I wish that my parents would have done something like that for me!

The more I think about it, the better I like that idea.

Thanks gang,

Carmela7

My response:

Florida is not far enough away from where you live. At that rate, he'll be back home in 2 days. That's why I mentioned "deep into Mexico".

Florida? You're already chickening out.

IAAL

 

[LegalBeagle]

Hey! we have enough criminals and layabouts down here.. take him to CA !

 

[Agent Orange]

Hey! we have enough criminals and layabouts down here.. take him to CA !

Take him to Texas where the "steer's and Queer's" are, let them figure out which one he is...

NO OFFENSE LADYBLU!!