Inheritance

[k1305dm]

My top secret state is Missouri. I just can't believe that she would be entitled to any money made on the house. She hasn't worked since we've bought the house. It's B.S.!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My top secret state is Missouri. I just can't believe that she would be entitled to any money made on the house. She hasn't worked since we've bought the house. It's B.S.!!

My response:

Why is it B.S. ?

It's your own fault - - not hers. Without a written agreement with your wife concerning the money, you either commingled your separate funds with hers in order to get the house, or, without realizing it, you made a "gift" to the marriage by doing what you did. In either case, she's entitled to her equitable interest and share of the house.

Next time you decide to use that money with someone else, get an agreement in writing to keep your interests in the money.

IAAL

 

[k1305dm]

I think it's B.S. because she didn't contribute financially to the household, but came away with a new car and possibly 30k from the sale of the house, which was all possible because of the inheritance. I guess it's life that's B.S.!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I think it's B.S. because she didn't contribute financially to the household, but came away with a new car and possibly 30k from the sale of the house, which was all possible because of the inheritance. I guess it's life that's B.S.!!

My response:

The problem here is that you refuse to take responsibility for your own actions, and because you didn't know the laws involved. As they say, "Ignorance of the law is not an excuse or a defense."

So, next time you want to make a financial move of any sort, spend a few hundred dollars to get advice, and a written agreement drawn up, from an attorney. If you had done this prior to the purchase of the house, you wouldn't be "out" the many thousands of dollars now.

Okay, so it makes you feel better to blame her, and to rant and rave about how life is "unfair". That, and a dime, won't buy you a cup of coffee. The reality of your own situation is that you failed yourself by not knowing the law, and protecting yourself. But, you go ahead and scream, and feel cheated - - if it makes you feel better.

So, stop blaming her - - it was your own fault for not protecting yourself with a written agreement.

You were penny wise, and pound foolish.

IAAL

 

[k1305dm]

I'm not blaming her. I blame the system. I also blame myself, but at the time I wasn't thinking about what if?? We had been together 12 years. I wasn't thinking, nor was I worried about the future. The system sucks.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Oh, brother.

The system doesn't "suck" at all. Didn't you understand what I said, above?

You failed yourself in this matter. You didn't know the laws when you bought the house, and you failed yourself by not getting any advice from an attorney before you bought the house.

It's NOT the system - - it was your own ignorance.

IAAL

 

[k1305dm]

I understand what you said about "protecting myself". But why should a person have to protect themself from a spouse. We had been married 8 years. The system created the need for protection.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I understand what you said about "protecting myself". But why should a person have to protect themself from a spouse. We had been married 8 years. The system created the need for protection.

My response:

Please understand, it's not that I'm completely heartless about your situation, and really, I do "feel" for you.

You are an intelligent person - - I can tell. You are lucid, you are articulate, and your writing shows me that you are hurting. But, you knew there were laws that guide all of us. You've heard about "Pre-Nuptial" and "Post-Nuptial" agreements - - I know you have.

You also knew, or should and could have known, that under the laws of your State, your wife would be entitled to an "equitable interest" in the home.

Why else would you marry someone if you weren't interested in sharing, not only yourself, but also sharing in each other's worldly goods and money. That's a big part of marriage. You just weren't thinking in those terms. Look, your wife is your wife, not a renter or a tenant. She had rights to the good and bad in your marriage - - just like you did. Share and share alike. Otherwise, why bother getting married in the first place ? Just be roommates if you didn't want to take her hand in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health, etc., etc.

By seeing an attorney about having an agreement drawn up, you could have kept your interest in your inheritance money. But, you blindly went ahead and spent the money without realizing what you were doing to yourself.

These agreements are not written to merely "protect" yourself, but to make sure that "each" party knows what to expect, and what not to expect, out of the marriage.

Look, I could write reams on this subject, and right now, you're hurting about what's happening so much that it wouldn't sink in enough to help you.

In short, you'll know better for the future. Whenever there's money or property at stake, always spend a few hundred for legal advice - - it'll keep you from losing thousands later on.

I wish you all the best - - for the future.

IAAL

 

[tigger22472]

Here would be a question that I have for the poster..... You say that she didn't contribute financially to the home... does this mean she didn't work and stayed home? Were there children involved? Did you come home to a clean house, healthy well rounded children, clean clothes hanging in your closet??? Did you have to take the children to school functions??? Did you stay home and take care of the children when they were sick? Just because she didn't have an outside job doesn't mean she didn't contribute. And again if there are children involved and she get part of the sale of the house they will have two parents that are already "on their feet" and prepared to take on the challenge of single parenthood. If she were to get 30K like you say... that's a good down payment on a new home that the children will live in either fulltime or even part-time depending on who has custody...

 

[k1305dm]

Both of you make valid points. She was a wonderful wife and is a great mother. Maybe my reaction is fueled by bitterness. I do wish her well, and the money will allow her to make a new start with little worries.

Thanks for a different perspective!! Do either of you have a minor in psychology!!

 

[tigger22472]

Sometimes you are just to close to a situation to think with a clear mind. You will be doing your children a great service by not fighting over things that do no good to fight over. I am in both situations. After over 2 years I have an ex that is still bitter that I wanted out of our marriage and does everything he can to make my life a living hell. In turn he has damaged his relationship with his children beyond compare. On the other hand I live with my boyfriend and he has a daughter with his ex wife. She is remarried also and the four of us get along great. We all have different parenting skills but have learned to respect each other. With that in mind their daughter is VERY well adjusted. We work together to prevent petty arguments.

 

[k1305dm]

Thanks. My soon to be ex and I both want to have a good post marriage relationship. We have been together 17 years. We started our relationship as friends, and want to remain friends. It's just tough right now.

By the way... I helped cook, clean, and take care of the girls. I'm not looking for an "atta boy", I just feel it's part of being a husband and a father. It's my job too!!

Thanks again.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Thanks. My soon to be ex and I both want to have a good post marriage relationship. We have been together 17 years. We started our relationship as friends, and want to remain friends. It's just tough right now.

By the way... I helped cook, clean, and take care of the girls. I'm not looking for an "atta boy", I just feel it's part of being a husband and a father. It's my job too!!

Thanks again.

My response:

There you go ! You're seeing things a little clearer, and the anger is dissipating. All's well that ends well.

You may send your $500.00 fee to the Law Offices of IAAL and Tigger, LLC, c/o FreeAdvice.Com, sunny California.

IAAL

 

[tigger22472]

Every man should know how to cook and clean. That also will make single parenthood a good thing.. May I make a suggest? This isn't always possible but my bf and his ex have an agreement that his daughter lives two weeks with him and two weeks with her. She has her own room with all her clothes at each house. They agreed on no support. With your wife not working outside the home that might not be possible without support however it would be less then if the children lived with her full time. In the end they alternate holidays and that's it. Everyone is in complete compliance with everything. This way both parents get time with the child and also time to move on with their lives. I've learned that there's no better way to do it if it's possible. It took some time for them both to get past all the bitterness but it's help that they each have a SO now. My boyfriend laughs because his ex wife and I talk on the phone almost daily and his daughter can come to our home and find a picture of her with her mom, step-dad and their family on our wall.

 

[tigger22472]

Nice to see you're in a good mood today IAAL.....