stmichael052405
Member
What is the name of your state? Colorado
I am a 60 year old woman who has been out of the workforce for 7 years and married for 11 + years. I have permanent legal custody of my 7 yr old grandson who is not my husband's biological grandchild.
Part 1: Six months ago, my grandson told his therapist that grandpa had him watch porn (he called them naked lady movies) with him. The therapist called Dept. of Human Svcs who started an immediate investigation. DHS told me to separate my husband and my grandson and get a temporary restraining order to prove I was doing everything possible to protect my grandson. I told my husband what was going on. He, of course, denied everything but packed up and moved out with no fight. He told me he'd go stay with a friend but didn't say who. The next day I went to county court and got the TRO. That evening, my husband called and said he was coming by to pick up some more of his things. I told him about the TRO and said I'd get his things to him. The next day,unbeknownst to me, he went to district court and got a TRO against me. It took a week for the county to serve him his TRO because he made himself very invisible. Finally, the deputy sheriff came to the house and proudly announced he had served my husband with the TRO and, by the way, he had one for me and I had 15 minutes to get what I needed and get out.
Part 2: My husband and I set up a joint checking account when we got married. We both deposited money into it and he paid bills with it. I had a personal account that I bought groceries from, clothes, etc. We had a credit card we both used and paid on although it was in my husband's name. Nine months ago, my husband had my name taken off the joint checking account. It took me three months to find out because I bought my own things and the groceries. When I lost my babysitting job and quit doing craft shows, I would just ask my husband for money for groceries. Sometimes I'd use the joint checking account. Sometimes he would say the checkbook was in his truck, at work, misplaced (?) and I should use my checks and he'd reimburse me. This worked out ok unless he "forgot" to reimburse me or took issue with the amount I'd spent. At that point, there would be a big "discussion" about my spending habits. Sometimes my check would bounce because of him forgetting or "teaching me a spending lesson" but he would always cover the ISF charges.
Part 3: When my grandson and I were kicked out of the house, there was no money in my account and, of course, he had the checkbook and our credit card. I went to the credit union where our joint account was and asked to withdraw some money so I could get a motel room. The manager told me that my husband had me removed from the joint account three months prior. I knew nothing about him doing this and had not given my permission.
Part 4: For the six months that we've been separated, he has paid the bills for our house and rented himself an apartment and pays those bills also. He has also deposited $200 - $250 every two weeks for groceries, gasoline, and prescriptions for me and my grandson. Well, almost every two weeks. There were times when he went on vacation for a week back east and then to a mountain resort without putting money into my account. We had to wait on groceries, gas and meds until he returned.
Part 5: During the recent back to back blizzards, I ran out of everything, milk, bread, toothpaste, toilet paper, dog food, cat food, cereal, meds, everything. I called him the night before payday and told him I needed him to be sure to put money in my account the next day. "No problem, I'll take care of it" was his response. My neighbor offered me a ride to the store in her 4WD because my car and driveway were under three feet of snow. I couldn't verify if he'd actually deposited the funds because my Internet was not working (I guess because of the weather) and the credit union was closed because of the New Years Eve holiday. So, I went to the store and wrote two checks. Even if he "forgot", he had a day or two to get the money into my account. Well, two days later (Monday, Jan 1) he calls and says he can't put any money into my account because he has so many bills to pay. I told him I'd already written the checks. He started screaming at me about my effing spending habits and I hung up. I figured he would "come to his senses" and deposit the money on Tuesday. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday go by and he is still refusing. By then, the two checks have bounced. I scrape together what cash I can and go in and cover part of the checks and one ISF charge. He is still refusing to do what he told me he would do. I know, I know, I'm stupid for trusting him. I feel bad enough so don't give me a huge lecture on this.
Part 6: I have tried to get legal assistance through Colorado Legal Services and Metro Volunteer Lawyers. They have both turned me down citing the equity in our house. He wants to "dump" the house and sell it for exactly what we owe plus the realtor's commission. He won't go for a second mortgage and frankly I doubt we'd get one because our credit is just fair.
Part 7: The credit card . . . this card was used by both of us and paid for by both of us. Right around the same time the you know what hit the fan, he got a new version of the same card. I have not used the new card. He has it. I know this because back when we got the original card I set up a web connection with the issuing company in order to track expenses, payments, etc. I can still access the site and know he has been charging stuff like liquor, porn, dating services, sex toys, clothing, groceries, gasoline, and going out to eat (and not at McDonalds). He is paying off the balance every month which is always between $200 and $700. It seems to me like this card would be considered marital property. It has a cash advance amount of over $2,000 right now.
Here are my questions:
1. Does a TRO obtained in a county court have less legal clout than a TRO obtained in a district court?
2. He knew I had obtained the TRO but went ahead and got one against me knowing that this would get me and my grandson kicked out of the house. Was this legal? Should district court have known I had the TRO against him?
3. Was it legal for him to take me off of our joint checking account without my knowledge or consent?
4. Is it illegal for me to be accessing the credit card web site and finding out what he is charging and paying on the card?
5. How do I get legal help? I don't think I should go Pro Se since this isn't a simple, uncomplicated situation. I can't borrow the money from my family. They think my grandson and I are lying about the porn and that my husband couldn't do anything wrong since "he is such a hard working guy". Translate this to "he does anything we need done on our houses for free or practically nothing whenever we need it, so we're not going to do anything to alienate him".
I am a 60 year old woman who has been out of the workforce for 7 years and married for 11 + years. I have permanent legal custody of my 7 yr old grandson who is not my husband's biological grandchild.
Part 1: Six months ago, my grandson told his therapist that grandpa had him watch porn (he called them naked lady movies) with him. The therapist called Dept. of Human Svcs who started an immediate investigation. DHS told me to separate my husband and my grandson and get a temporary restraining order to prove I was doing everything possible to protect my grandson. I told my husband what was going on. He, of course, denied everything but packed up and moved out with no fight. He told me he'd go stay with a friend but didn't say who. The next day I went to county court and got the TRO. That evening, my husband called and said he was coming by to pick up some more of his things. I told him about the TRO and said I'd get his things to him. The next day,unbeknownst to me, he went to district court and got a TRO against me. It took a week for the county to serve him his TRO because he made himself very invisible. Finally, the deputy sheriff came to the house and proudly announced he had served my husband with the TRO and, by the way, he had one for me and I had 15 minutes to get what I needed and get out.
Part 2: My husband and I set up a joint checking account when we got married. We both deposited money into it and he paid bills with it. I had a personal account that I bought groceries from, clothes, etc. We had a credit card we both used and paid on although it was in my husband's name. Nine months ago, my husband had my name taken off the joint checking account. It took me three months to find out because I bought my own things and the groceries. When I lost my babysitting job and quit doing craft shows, I would just ask my husband for money for groceries. Sometimes I'd use the joint checking account. Sometimes he would say the checkbook was in his truck, at work, misplaced (?) and I should use my checks and he'd reimburse me. This worked out ok unless he "forgot" to reimburse me or took issue with the amount I'd spent. At that point, there would be a big "discussion" about my spending habits. Sometimes my check would bounce because of him forgetting or "teaching me a spending lesson" but he would always cover the ISF charges.
Part 3: When my grandson and I were kicked out of the house, there was no money in my account and, of course, he had the checkbook and our credit card. I went to the credit union where our joint account was and asked to withdraw some money so I could get a motel room. The manager told me that my husband had me removed from the joint account three months prior. I knew nothing about him doing this and had not given my permission.
Part 4: For the six months that we've been separated, he has paid the bills for our house and rented himself an apartment and pays those bills also. He has also deposited $200 - $250 every two weeks for groceries, gasoline, and prescriptions for me and my grandson. Well, almost every two weeks. There were times when he went on vacation for a week back east and then to a mountain resort without putting money into my account. We had to wait on groceries, gas and meds until he returned.
Part 5: During the recent back to back blizzards, I ran out of everything, milk, bread, toothpaste, toilet paper, dog food, cat food, cereal, meds, everything. I called him the night before payday and told him I needed him to be sure to put money in my account the next day. "No problem, I'll take care of it" was his response. My neighbor offered me a ride to the store in her 4WD because my car and driveway were under three feet of snow. I couldn't verify if he'd actually deposited the funds because my Internet was not working (I guess because of the weather) and the credit union was closed because of the New Years Eve holiday. So, I went to the store and wrote two checks. Even if he "forgot", he had a day or two to get the money into my account. Well, two days later (Monday, Jan 1) he calls and says he can't put any money into my account because he has so many bills to pay. I told him I'd already written the checks. He started screaming at me about my effing spending habits and I hung up. I figured he would "come to his senses" and deposit the money on Tuesday. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday go by and he is still refusing. By then, the two checks have bounced. I scrape together what cash I can and go in and cover part of the checks and one ISF charge. He is still refusing to do what he told me he would do. I know, I know, I'm stupid for trusting him. I feel bad enough so don't give me a huge lecture on this.
Part 6: I have tried to get legal assistance through Colorado Legal Services and Metro Volunteer Lawyers. They have both turned me down citing the equity in our house. He wants to "dump" the house and sell it for exactly what we owe plus the realtor's commission. He won't go for a second mortgage and frankly I doubt we'd get one because our credit is just fair.
Part 7: The credit card . . . this card was used by both of us and paid for by both of us. Right around the same time the you know what hit the fan, he got a new version of the same card. I have not used the new card. He has it. I know this because back when we got the original card I set up a web connection with the issuing company in order to track expenses, payments, etc. I can still access the site and know he has been charging stuff like liquor, porn, dating services, sex toys, clothing, groceries, gasoline, and going out to eat (and not at McDonalds). He is paying off the balance every month which is always between $200 and $700. It seems to me like this card would be considered marital property. It has a cash advance amount of over $2,000 right now.
Here are my questions:
1. Does a TRO obtained in a county court have less legal clout than a TRO obtained in a district court?
2. He knew I had obtained the TRO but went ahead and got one against me knowing that this would get me and my grandson kicked out of the house. Was this legal? Should district court have known I had the TRO against him?
3. Was it legal for him to take me off of our joint checking account without my knowledge or consent?
4. Is it illegal for me to be accessing the credit card web site and finding out what he is charging and paying on the card?
5. How do I get legal help? I don't think I should go Pro Se since this isn't a simple, uncomplicated situation. I can't borrow the money from my family. They think my grandson and I are lying about the porn and that my husband couldn't do anything wrong since "he is such a hard working guy". Translate this to "he does anything we need done on our houses for free or practically nothing whenever we need it, so we're not going to do anything to alienate him".
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