Just got assaulted by soon to be X-wife

[7zcata]

What is the name of your state? MS

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I really don't have a question. I just want to see if anyone on this board has advice for me about what to do differently, if anything.

I'm getting a divorce. My wife was cheating and I found out. I'm trying to be civil about it but we differ on many things, mainly custody arrangements. Divorce papers have been filed, and we are waiting for the 'temporary hearing' to adjudicate arrangements while the divorce is pending.

My wife and I are in the same house still, but seperate bedrooms. Tonight, I said goodnight and went to the bedroom, and sat briefly at the computer screen. While I was there, she came in and started yelling at me and berating me. Make a long story short, it went way too far and she began insulting me, mocking me, imitating me, etc. She was standing between me and the door, so I couldn't walk away. I have muscular dystrophy, and although I can walk, I'm not strong, nor someone who would be considerred intimidating. I stood up and said this conversation needs to be over. She stood her ground. I began walking toward the door, and when she continued to block the door, I placed my hand on her shoulder to hasten our departure.

She said 'get your hands off me!' and hit me in the eye. She then hit me again, and I swooned backward, room spinning. Apparantly I grabbed on to her blouse to keep from falling backward, and she continued to hit me in the eye, about five or six times. It is quite swollen now, and I'm sure it will be black.

After a few seconds, I said, "we can't live like this" and 'please leave the room' and she proceeded to call the local police, complaining of a domestic disturbance. They came, and looked a little perplexed. We each explained what was going on, and they warned us not to speak to each other, go back inside, and if they were called again, someone was going to jail.

I'm still a little shocked. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. My son is joining the church tomorrow (Easter Sinday), there will be family present, etc. I want to go. Do I pretend nothing happened? Does this have any bearing on my divorce, who keeps the house, child custody, visitation, etc? I'm so confused... Any comments would be helpful.

 

[Hot Topic]

Obviously, you or your wife needed to move out. To still be living with the woman who cheated on you, and for her to continue to live with a man she not only cheated on but had no problem assaulting is bizarre.


You both need professional help, you more than her because I think you've got kind of a saint complex. You want to be "civil" in an uncivil situation. You're "kind of shocked" about what happened. You want to go when your son joins the church, but you're worried about what your family might think if you tell them what happened (which would be totally inappropriate, but common sense should have told you that already).


Only your lawyer can tell you how the situation is going to effect your upcoming divorce, and I suggest you make an appointment with him/her first thing Monday.

 

[las365]

you're worried about what your family might think if you tell them what happened (which would be totally inappropriate, but common sense should have told you that already).

Hot Topic, are you saying it would be inappropriate for OP to tell people how he got the black eye? Or just to do so at the church? I'm not sure I understand your point. I totally agree that OP needs professional counseling for assistance in dealing with this situation.

OP, take pictures of your injuries. Write down exactly what happened in a statement to your lawyer that has "To My Lawyer" writen on each page. You know that when this incident comes up during your divorce case, she is going to claim that you assaulted her. That's how these things work.

If you must stay in the same house, get a lock put on your bedroom door (double key deadbolt) and USE IT. Lock the door when you are in the room and when you are not.

 

[Hot Topic]

It would be inappropriate for the OP to tell his relatives at a happy event like his son's joining the church that the black eye was the result of an assault by his wife. All he needs to do is tell anyone who asks that he'll talk to them about it later, then refocus their interest on his son, which is where it should be.

A lock can be put on the bedroom door, but it's not going to protect the OP in other parts of the house if his wife is determined to confront him and willing to assault him. He needs to get out, and he needs to get a restraining order against her. And he needs to stop treating the whole situation like an inconvenience that surprisingly turned violent.

 

[las365]

Agreed on all points.

 

[7zcata]

replies to above

Good points, all. You're right. I'm not going to move out for several reasons, but I'll take greater measures to protect myself.

I wore sunglasses for the easter egg hunt outside at the church, and then moved fast inside and sat at the front. A few folks asked what was going on, I just said I'd tell them later.

 

[fairisfair]

Good points, all. You're right. I'm not going to move out for several reasons, but I'll take greater measures to protect myself.

I wore sunglasses for the easter egg hunt outside at the church, and then moved fast inside and sat at the front. A few folks asked what was going on, I just said I'd tell them later.

if you file for and receive a restraining order, you won't be the one moving. (assuming of course that this is the marital home)

 

[Hot Topic]

{Quote}My wife and I are in the same house still, but seperate bedrooms{Unquote}.

The above suggests that they are occupying the marital home.