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dyce71

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MS

I have temporary custody of my kids, and I'm getting ready to go back to court. The father is planning on taking them back. What are some things that I can expect to happen? What can I do to help me keep them? Any all advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
dyce71 said:
What is the name of your state? MS

I have temporary custody of my kids, and I'm getting ready to go back to court. The father is planning on taking them back. What are some things that I can expect to happen? What can I do to help me keep them? Any all advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

The reason why you have temporary custody...and how long you have had temporary custody would be needed in order to give you any advice.
 

dyce71

Junior Member
My ex said he had to have physical custody to get the higher housing allowance. Or at least that's what he told me. But, he said the children would live me, so I agreed. On his first visit with the children, a month after the divorce was final, he took the kids and left the state. There's was nothing I could do, since I signed the papers. I did not have counsel at the time. The counsel I retained after, took my $2500 and never did a thing, I had to serve him with papers after 6 months of being told I'm trying to locate him. I provided him with every number he could need and addresses, all he had to do was contact a server, which I also provided. After I had him served, my attorney disappeared, he secretary quit, he could not be reach by phone or mail, and no one he shared an office with knew how to reach him. In Dec. of 2004, my ex tells me that he is going to Afganhistan (he is in the army) and he'll be gone for 6 six months, and he was thinking of letting me have the kids. We have joint custody, he just has physical. So, I got a new attorney, and she said he had no choice but to give the kids to me, if he wasn't going to be around. I assume his attorney told him the same thing. 'Cause he had to spin it to sound like he was doing me a big favor by trusting me with my kids, and wanting me to agree to give them back as soon as he got back and give his parents all his visitation. In the state of Mississippi, you have to have a court order saying the kids live with you in order to register them for school, and Power of Attorney is not good enough. He would not agree to give me temporary physical custody, so I went to court and got it. He left for Afganhistan in March, and arrived in MS on the 28th of July. The kids had just spent three weeks with his parents and they never mentioned that he would be home in two days. If they had known, I would like to think that they would have asked to keep the kids for a couple more days, but they didn't. He wasn't gone a full 4 months, but his unit is still there until Sept. I did some checking. In June, he said he had some kind of plan in the works, and was planning on moving to where I live and live close, so that we wouldn't have to go back court and we could raise the kids together. Well, I have tried to ask him what was going on, like why he was back so soon, and his only answer is "You're not my wife". So, much for trying to work together. When my kids came home from his parents house, they were telling the babysitter that would they be moving to Florida with Daddy. Granted they are only 5 & 6, but they don't lie yet. What can I expect when we go to court in Dec (on my birthday)? Am I going to lose my kids again? Do I have a chance? The kids start school in two days. They have an older sister and new one due in Oct. Will they separate the kids again? Again thanks any and all help.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
dyce71 said:
My ex said he had to have physical custody to get the higher housing allowance. Or at least that's what he told me. But, he said the children would live me, so I agreed. On his first visit with the children, a month after the divorce was final, he took the kids and left the state. There's was nothing I could do, since I signed the papers. I did not have counsel at the time. The counsel I retained after, took my $2500 and never did a thing, I had to serve him with papers after 6 months of being told I'm trying to locate him. I provided him with every number he could need and addresses, all he had to do was contact a server, which I also provided. After I had him served, my attorney disappeared, he secretary quit, he could not be reach by phone or mail, and no one he shared an office with knew how to reach him. In Dec. of 2004, my ex tells me that he is going to Afganhistan (he is in the army) and he'll be gone for 6 six months, and he was thinking of letting me have the kids. We have joint custody, he just has physical. So, I got a new attorney, and she said he had no choice but to give the kids to me, if he wasn't going to be around. I assume his attorney told him the same thing. 'Cause he had to spin it to sound like he was doing me a big favor by trusting me with my kids, and wanting me to agree to give them back as soon as he got back and give his parents all his visitation. In the state of Mississippi, you have to have a court order saying the kids live with you in order to register them for school, and Power of Attorney is not good enough. He would not agree to give me temporary physical custody, so I went to court and got it. He left for Afganhistan in March, and arrived in MS on the 28th of July. The kids had just spent three weeks with his parents and they never mentioned that he would be home in two days. If they had known, I would like to think that they would have asked to keep the kids for a couple more days, but they didn't. He wasn't gone a full 4 months, but his unit is still there until Sept. I did some checking. In June, he said he had some kind of plan in the works, and was planning on moving to where I live and live close, so that we wouldn't have to go back court and we could raise the kids together. Well, I have tried to ask him what was going on, like why he was back so soon, and his only answer is "You're not my wife". So, much for trying to work together. When my kids came home from his parents house, they were telling the babysitter that would they be moving to Florida with Daddy. Granted they are only 5 & 6, but they don't lie yet. What can I expect when we go to court in Dec (on my birthday)? Am I going to lose my kids again? Do I have a chance? The kids start school in two days. They have an older sister and new one due in Oct. Will they separate the kids again? Again thanks any and all help.

How long were the kids with dad? Is dad remaining in the Military and is he still deployable? You certainly have a shot at retaining custody...particularly since he up and disappeared with them before.
 

dyce71

Junior Member
The kids were gone for 9 months. I have no idea if dad is still in the military or for however much longer. I have tried to ask him and he won't tell me anything, except that I'm not his wife and its none of my business. When he had the kids I got no visitation at all. Granted they were in Hawaii, but still no effort was made. I had tried to make arrangements for a visit with them before school started and was lied to about the day school started, and that relatives were planning a visit at the same time and it wouldn't be fair to the kids or their relatives if I was there. Will it be a fresh start with the judge on the custody matter or will the original order come into effect?
 
need guardian

ok. first - sounds too fishy. Get him under oath if you can to tell everyone there where he was and why he left and them suddenly was back when deployments don't do all of that shuffling...
or at least a sworn affidavit - then if you find out anything differently, it's purjery.

The guardian ad litem will look at everything - a whole lot more than a judge can in a short amount of time..

look into it...
 

dyce71

Junior Member
Is using a guardian ad litem the way to go. There are some important questions:
1. Money is a serious issue right now, who would pay for the guardian?
2. Do the children have to leave my home?
3. What exactly does the guardian do?
4. About how long does this take?

On a different note. Today was the first day of school, and as we were loading up to go, my ex stops by, uninvited. No call, no nothing. Do I or should put up with this rude behavior? He had the kids for a couple of days and just returned them yesterday, he never mentioned stopping by. Also, he seems to spend alot of time twisting the things my 6 year old tells him. Perfect example, it was raining and the 6 yr old told him a hurricane was coming and they needed to get in the closet. Well, TS Cindy, blew through last month on my husband's day off and was called to work, since I was already at work, and the weather was bad, there was no one to leave the kids with, so he brought them to work. We work at the same place. The kids were never left alone, they had me around them, a babysitter for the times I had to work. I work in a casino, there is surveillance equipment everywhere. My husband's work area is called a bell closet (closet by no means). The kids were telling him about going to work during the storm and sitting in the closet. Of course, he blew it out of porportion, and said my current husband locks the kids in the closet. He accuses him beating the kids. No one lays a hand on my children, not even me. Now, we can't play with the kids, without them misunderstanding the questions that their dad is asking. HELP!!!! The stress is unbelievable. I have a baby due in 11 weeks, which is stressful enough. Worrying about work, money, time off, & going back to work. Now, I have to worry about the things I say & how I play with my children.
 
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