Letter to Take Tests

[somedude]

What is the name of your state?OHIO

In the mail today, I received a letter from a child support enforcement agency to appear for testing to prove whether or not I'm the father of a child. THis child was born in 1998. I don't know how this woman got information about me since she didn't know my real last name. Could she have gotten it from previous employers? If so, is that legal?

Anyways, I was paying support for awhile (about 2 years or so) via money order just to keep her off my back. This whole time, she assumed it was mine and vice versa, even though I denied it -- no testing, etc. In late 2001/early 2002, I told her that I could no longer afford to pay this anymore and that my last payment will be the one in May 2002. She never responded to it or anything prior to that. Also, on the back of the money order, I wrote language along the lines of signing/cashing this will prevent any future payments and/or actions and release me of any parental rights. Yes we do use protection...she has married and so did I.

Now, I get this letter. I am sure I am going to be attacked for posting this, but oh well. She cashed the money order with the language on it -- it was over 2 years ago. Do I have any legal options in this since, technically, she cashed/signed the money order. Isn't that an agreement?

Thanks.

 

[ikecvfd2]

What is the name of your state?OHIO

In the mail today, I received a letter from a child support enforcement agency to appear for testing to prove whether or not I'm the father of a child. THis child was born in 1998. I don't know how this woman got information about me since she didn't know my real last name. Could she have gotten it from previous employers? If so, is that legal?

Anyways, I was paying support for awhile (about 2 years or so) via money order just to keep her off my back. This whole time, she assumed it was mine and vice versa, even though I denied it -- no testing, etc. In late 2001/early 2002, I told her that I could no longer afford to pay this anymore and that my last payment will be the one in May 2002. She never responded to it or anything prior to that. Also, on the back of the money order, I wrote language along the lines of signing/cashing this will prevent any future payments and/or actions and release me of any parental rights. Yes we do use protection...she has married and so did I.

Now, I get this letter. I am sure I am going to be attacked for posting this, but oh well. She cashed the money order with the language on it -- it was over 2 years ago. Do I have any legal options in this since, technically, she cashed/signed the money order. Isn't that an agreement?

Thanks.

Take the test! If you are not the father it should rid you of future responsibility. If you are the father then you nee to step up to the plate to pay for your child. I suspect you believe you are or you would have gladly proven otherwise long ago.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Of course you have options. You can take the test and hope it doesn't come back that you are the father.

 

[stealth2]

She cashed the money order with the language on it -- it was over 2 years ago. Do I have any legal options in this since, technically, she cashed/signed the money order. Isn't that an agreement?

Thanks.

LOLOLOL Nope, not at all. You don't get to weasel out of possible paternal responsibilities that easily, dude. You have two choices - take the test and find out if you are the father, or don't take the test and have the court name you the father by default.

Don't be stupid - take the test and if you ARE found to be Dad, be a man about it and live up to your responsibility.

 

[somedude]

or don't take the test and have the court name you the father by default.

And what does that mean? What happens then?

Can I give up my parental rights for the child? What does that mean if I do, etc.?

Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

If you ignore the order to take the test, a judge will simply say "Okay Mom, you say he's Dad? Fine - somedude is now this child's father legally and is ordered to pay $XYZ per month in child support. Next case." And you will be well and truly f*cked.

And no, you cannot simply walk away from your responsibilities to the child. You can walk away from having anything personally to do with him.her, but once you are legally declared the father you will have financial responsibilities. And those will remain unless she marries and her spouse chooses to adopt the child.

Now GROW THE HELL UP. You liked the chick well enough to find a warm place to stick it. Accept the consequences.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Now GROW THE HELL UP. You liked the chick well enough to find a warm place to stick it. Accept the consequences.

My goodness Such language from a pretty young Thang!!!

 

[stealth2]

 

[ajfai]

BB I am surprised at you

You didn't even comment on the language on the back of the money order! LOL

Sounds like to me you are just trying to get out of paying support. Oh well, I agree with Stealth. GROW THE HELL UP!!!!

 

[somedude]

nice attitude

And those will remain unless she marries and her spouse chooses to adopt the child

Interesting you mention that...she HAS married since then and has kids with this guy. She told me over 3 years ago that he even adopted them. She has been married to him for several years. I haven't heard from her in over 3 years or so regarding this, so it sounds very very fishy. I seriously question her motive.
She had 6 years to do something and NOW she is?? The only thing i can think of is her marriage fell apart and she is desperate. Am I finding a way to get out of paying child support to her? Well, I seriously question her motives NOW!

I AM going to take the test. BTW...some of you people on here telling me to "grow up" need to practice what you preach. I never said anything about NOT taking the test. I am going to. Like I said, after so many years, I seriously question her motives. Why NOW? Why not 6 years ago. Or 5 or 3 or a year ago?

I WILL fight any attempt to pay back support or an outrageous amount because she feels she is one of those "woman scorned". There are a lot of questionable actions over the years on HER part...alot more than mine.
We used protection...it failed (even though she said beforehand "my doctor told me I can't have kids"...well, I still used something). If she was so adamant, then she shouldn't have waited over 6 years to officially do something.

 

[newlywed03]

One thing you might want to consider - she might be coming to you now to establish paternity so that the new hubby CAN adopt her. SHE might be the one asking you to give up your parental rights. A close friend of mine had not heard from the father of her daughter for over 5 years - didn't even know where he lived anymore, never received nor asked for a dime of child support. Now married, her new hubby wants to adopt her daughter since he is the only father she's ever known. Since "sperm donor" is listed on the birth certificate, she had to track him down, which took a couple of months (thank God for the internet!). Fortunately he has agreed to terminate his parental rights, but it's been a long process. Take the test and go from there.

 

[AHA]

You need to spend some time reading posts here. If it was as easy as you assume to get out of having to pay for a child you willingly(by not using protection) created, there would be no posts anywhere in which people are writing and tellling of their difficulties with the custodial parent and the courts. You are in for a real rollercoaster and so is your bankaccount.

Whatever the mother and her husband are going through doesn't not nullify your responsibilities for your kid. The fact that you did make payments to her years ago, would certainly look like you accepted that the kid was yours, so instead of just cussing her for not doing anything until now, years later, cuss yourself why YOU didn't do anything about this years ago.
If you seemed sure enough, that the kid was yours, to pay cs back then, why is it so uncertain now?

The GROW UP part I totally agree with, and the reason for that is, did you seriously think that by writing a few weak words on a money order would get you out of financial responsibilities for a child you help to put on this earth????? Oboy, you need to learn about the legal consequences of having a child.........real fast!!

Good luck

 

[stealth2]

It actually may have taken her that long to (a) find your real last name (Remember? You told us she didn't know it?) and (b) for the paperwork to wind it's way through the system.

Surely you know that there is no such thing as 100% effective birth control - except abstention. You did the deed, you pay the consequences. Instead of being an a$$hole about it, how about being a man and stepping up to your ENTIRE responsibility to this child, should it be yours?

 

[somedude]

The fact that you did make payments to her years ago, would certainly look like you accepted that the kid was yours, so instead of just cussing her for not doing anything until now, years later, cuss yourself why YOU didn't do anything about this years ago.

Because I couldn't afford to and neither could she for the bloodtest. She wanted me to voluntarily go get a blood test and pay for it. No way. She did make a comment to me many years ago stating "if you pay me $3000, this will be done forever and I'll leave you alone". At the time she was really in need of money. Keep in mind, no official paternity has yet to be officially establish. But I did give her some money a month just so she would leave me alone...I was younger and scared and didn't know where to turn. So because I paid her some money a month, does that officially constitute some sort of commitment?

Again, I never said I wasn't going to take the test...I AM! And I don't need any of YOU to lecture me on birth control. At least some was used....unlime many out there who don't use it at all and seem "surprised" when the chick is prego. Unfortunately, it failed.

I seriously question her motives. Maybe, according to "newlywed", that is all they want. On the birth certificate, she told me she had my name on it (the name she knew me by...I don't know if it's true or if that what legs that could stand on). If the guy does want to officially adopt them, is this what needs to be done in order for it to happen??

I could be really difficult and insist on visitation. This kid is now 6 and the guy this girl is married to is his "dad." But, I won't do that to them.

I don't need the attitude, please. Just some assistance. I know once I take the test and if it comes back to me, then I will get a lawyer. IF she was that adamant back then, she would've done this years ago and not now -- all of a suddent.