looking hard but no luck --- yet
Ok, so now that I have my grandson off to school, watched a couple soap operas, eaten a few dozen bon-bons and kicked off my high-heeled fuzzy slippers, knocked back a couple of lattes, I'm going to answer questions and make a few comments.
First of all, if you go back to January 9 and look at "Intro and Questions" you will find a lengthy chronology that details a lot of what has happened during the past six months.
Second: Baystategirl, Ldij; fairisfair; thanks for the helpful info. I appreciate the advice.However, Ldij, nextwife can't make me depressed or feel bad about myself. I did the right thing by my grandson, and I did the right thing separating from my husband, and I WILL find a good job because I WANT a good job. I want as little to do with my soon-to-be-ex as possible and if I could make it financially without any help from him right now, I'd be doing it. I've always worked. I raised three kids on my own, bought a house on my own and if I could go back and do anything over, I absolutely WOULD NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN ESPECIALLY TO MY CURRENT HUSBAND. That's the only thing I'd change.
Third: Bali Hai. In answer to your questions, this is not HIS grandchild. Re my son or daughter not supporting their own child, please re-read the original post, I already answered this question. Re: (I'm 52, work full time, raise my nine year old daughter) what has that got to do with this??? Re: What about the three decades you had PIROR to this to develop(e) [sic} work skills and accumulate retirement funds? Actually, it's been four plus decades. I started working when I was 14 parttime after school for a local newspaper typing address labels. I accumulated retirement funds at the last job I had for 16 years. I used the funds to start a business when I left. I did original-art cards that sold very well . . .Neiman Marcus was a customer. However, like a lot of new small businesses, the demand quickly outdistanced my ability to supply "original" art cards. Then the tragedy of 9/11 and subsequent economic downturn virtually destroyed the niche market for very expensive art cards. So, I did some consulting, babysitting, secret shopper work, sales counter work. The job I had for 16 years was as a Special Projects Manager and Administrative Manager. I handled large, complicated projects from the investigative, planning stages through the problem solving process to successful completion. I handled projects like modernization of high-rise, residential apartment buildings and public housing family units, installation of security systems, ADA requirements, applied for grants through extensive and complex processes, administered the funding, complied with Davis Bacon Wage and Related Acts, Section 504, etc. I have great team leader skills, communication skills and conflict resolution skills. HOWEVER, that was 7 years ago. I can still do these things (I went through two years in county district court Pro Se and successfully fought for and gained custody of my grandson who was severely abused and neglected).
During the last three years, I researched everything I could find about PTSD, depression, early onset (childhood) Bipolar Disorder, IEPs and the meds used to treat these things (that is, in between eating bon-bons and watching soap operas and thinking up ways to abuse my poor husband). I realize you and Nextwife know everything, but did you know that a child from 0-3, if abused enough, will suffer actual physiological, irreperable, brain damage from emotional abuse and neglect. Well, now you're starting to get a picture of my grandson.
So, in a nutshell, that's what I've been doing for the 7 years I've been out of the workforce. NOT staying current on project management technology or all the new technology that employers are requiring now. That's why I'm trying to find out about the Displaced Homemakers Act. I guess I should have said "has no current, up-to-date, marketable skills".
Next: Silverplum. "Im gonna make you some pudding!" Now, there's a job skill you can be really proud of. You and Bali Hai can save your supercilious remarks for people like you who have time to waste.
and last but not least: Nextwife --
WOW You are SO special, I wish I was as great as you are. Hey, what do you and virtually all of your women friends who have changed jobs in the last year or so do . . . wait tables, janitorial work, wash hair??? Actually, I shouldn't insult the many fine people who do these jobs, who are polite, sensitive, and more in touch with the real world. And just because you are SO special, I'll answer your questions rather than refer you to info I've already posted: We've been married 11 years, spousal support is appropriate.
My husband raised his hand and said "I'll do it" when social services came to us with our grandson whom they were removing from his biological parents. He was SO Proud, and everyone was patting him on the back for being so upstanding. Well, after my grandson revealed to his therapist that my husband had him watch porn with him, in their underwear, I started to understand why my husband was so eager to "support" this chld. I know you know virtually everything, but do you know anything about "Grooming"? No, honey, not hair. As it relates to pedephilia?
And, by the way, my soon-to-be-ex is NOT NICE. He is a disparaging, inattentive, narcissistic, chauvenistic, bumptious, miserly, slanderous pig whose idea of supporting me was to "give" me as little as possible and make me account for every penny I ever earned and spent. I had to save receipts for months and months because he would come back time after time to make me account for some odd sum of money I'd spent wildly and foolishly on green beans that were on sale. "Getting to be home" . . . what have you been talking to him, that's HIS line. . . oh, yeah and "I let you stay home". During those 7 years, I not only started my own business and did all of my "wifely duties" as he put it, I painted the entire interior and exterior of the house (3200 sq ft), put rock on the exterior walls, and took care of his 83 year old mother who has the same disposition as he does so that "we" hahahahah "we" could get $1000 extra a month for her care. I NEVER saw a dime of that money.
But, you know what, I went to marital counselling until I was blue in the face trying to deal with all of this and "stand by my man" GAG!. Well, the porn thing with my grandson was the last straw.
So, back to my original questions: Does anyone know how a judge will react to my request for spousal maintenance in light of the fact that I currently don't have a job? And, does anyone know anything else that would help me go back to school for a few classes to brush up on my skills?
PS We've known for decades that women can no longer depend on getting old blah blah blah. Actually, women have known for thousands and thousands of years that they can't depend on men to support them. When is it his turn to be the one to not work?[/I] He's a workaholic.. . makes him feel important. These women get years of not working, then they reward the guy when they are done with him by making him CONTINUE to support them, rather than giving him an equal number of years "off" from working. Yeah, I "cast him off like an old glove". You are a real hoot. I know plenty of couples where the wife is working and the husband is "doing his thing" going to school, building a business. I've read your posts before. You seem to get off on being dissentaneous and baleful. I'm familiar with your type . . . sarcastic, venomous. You offer very little help or useful advice.
My advice to you, maybe get a little help working on your self-esteem issues so you don't have to put other people down in order to make yourself feel good.
